请坛内的朋友帮忙修改、润色
(2009-10-24 14:17:11)
下一个
我正在准备雅思考试, 今天尝试着练习写了一篇作业。
自己没有把握,身边也没有英语老师帮我修改。
请坛内的朋友帮我看一看,修改、润色一番。 我计划明年考雅思, 我的目标是7.5分。 作业最低也要7.5分。 请各位高人帮忙,不苟赐教、
题目:Some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor people and rich people. Others think that it is having an opposite effect.
Discuss these points of view, what is your opinion?
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我的草稿, 请斧正
In today’s constantly changing world, many new and hi-tech products have already become indispensable tools in our daily life. I believe that this large range of technology at our disposal enlarges and deepens the gap between the poor and the rich. The era of information and hi-tech is rather in side of the rich.
A wide range of technological products has been playing an essential role in facilitating our professional, social and private life. And they can help the rich to become richer. First, most of these technological products are quite expensive and requests some necessary degree of formation and education to use them. And the poor can hardly afford them. This phenomenon creates what we often call “the digital gap”. Second, the widespread use of technological products help the rich to save their precious time and increase their productivity. And therefore lift up their capacity of earning more money.
Third, some new technological products allow a new generation of technocrat-elite to become extremely rich in a relatively short period of time, such as Bill Gates. Last but not least, the American economic statistics show that, from 1990 to 2005, the income gap between the rich and the poor in the USA became larger than ever in the history. And many experts agree that the widespread use of new technology makes the gap wider instead of narrower between the poor and the rich.
In conclusion, the rich people have been taking an advantage of a wide range of technology within their reach to save time, increase productivity and then make more money at the expense of the poor who see themselves more and more marginalized as the result of this digital gap created by the new technology.