玫瑰写的故事(1) Frog Got Sick

Frog Got Sick

 

Frog was sick so he could not play with Duck. He felt bad. When Frog went to his mailbox, there was a letter from Duck.

 

The letter said,

 

"Dear Frog,

 

I hope you feel good. I just brought jump ropes to play.

 

From Your Friend,

 

Duck."

 

Frog was happier than ever!

 

Just when he went home, Squirrel came and gave him some flowers.

 

“Well, thank you so much!” said Frog.

 

After a while when they were having tea, Dog came in with a coat and Frog tried it.

 

 “It’s just the right size.” He said.

 

Then Cat and Owl came with a cake. Everybody ran and sat at the table.

 

Wow! This was a good cake.

 

Just then Antelope came. Everyone was sorry that he missed the cake. Well, Antelope was still happy though.

 

Then Frog said to everyone,” This is the best party ever!”

 

有些地方不是很通顺,句子也有点别扭，情节上有些漏洞。但是这类的童话书她看过很多，所以从情节上讲，有铺垫（一封信就让Frog感到开心），有发展（不停地有朋友来看望他，并带东西来），有高潮（蛋糕那里，食物是女儿的最爱），还有一个不错的结尾。

 

玫瑰是那种没有耐心听长故事，对情节的发展也不是特别感兴趣的孩子。到目前为止，她的writing也就是马马虎虎，加上惜字如金，能省即省, 写出这样一个故事实在已经是超水平面发挥了。