Rules of Cheating

E.L.: Well, there are these rules that guys have, an understanding as to what exactly constitutes cheating. Take your situation for example: it's not cheating. It's never cheating when you're in a different area code, not to mention a different state.

Kyle: That makes no sense.

E.L.: Hey, don't look at me Kyle, OK, I didn't make up the rules.

Rubin: No no, this is legit, I- I've actually read an article about this. There's a whole bunch of them, it's like- they're like loopholes. Right, for argument's sake, let's say that you were sleeping with two girls at the same time, it- it wouldn't be cheating because they would cancel each other out.

E.L.: Exactly. Or if, uh, you're too wasted to remember- it is not cheating. Because if you can't really remember it, it never really took place.

Uh-huh
Whoo-oo...

Kyle: OK, I've got one. Are you ready? It's not cheating if you spread peanut butter all over your testicles and let your dog lick it off.

Oh-Oh-

Kyle: Because it's your dog!

Rubin: Jesus Christ!

Kyle: You know, because it's your dog!

Rubin: Yeah-yeah, we got it.


——Road Trip (2000)