今夜我不该哭泣

我想，我今夜不应该哭。当我选择接受现在的结局，就已经注定了我的悲哀。可是眼泪在心里一直流，眼睛是干的，就象是忽然间干涸的湖。从清澈到布满迷惘，我逐渐、逐渐将自己放逐。
其实又有什么是了不起呢？一开始就已经注定了我们只是情人，既然没有承诺，没有期盼。为什么心里还是会悲伤，会流泪？也许是为自己，也许是为自己的选择，也许仅仅是为了自己潜意识中的期待。
在外流浪的女人，有谁不希望有一双永久的臂弯可以依靠吗？被伤过这么多次，不是早就告诉自己不再动情，不再幻想了吗？

心里啊，却总还是有一个角落，一个无法忘却的角落，在那里，有执著，有期盼，有憧憬，有留恋，当然也有伤心和爱。所以，当我走到现在，选择了现在的生活，我心里的角落仍然在默默地流泪，不为别的，只为我将自己放逐，再也找不到回来的路。

[HLiu]

Dear friend, I hear you. And my heart and prayers go out for you. I feel your pain. And right at this moment, I am in the same situation, relationshipwise.
I made my tough but right decision. It is a sad decision, I have made up my mind not to lie any more to myself, to my son and my family in China. I decided to live a simple and honest life and maybe in the future die a happy woman.
I am on your side, friend. You are NOT alone on this one. Email me. If you live in the SF BAYAREA, I would love to meet you and take you out to lunch or dinner and get to know you and hear your story. It was brave of you to tell your story. Very healthy way indeed.

My email: [e-mail]
MSN: [e-mail]

HLiu