虔诚的鹦鹉【1】(笑话，译文）
译自法语by me, 英语由Gemini proofread过
Pious Parrots
A parishioner comes to see the priest at the end of the mass.
"Good day, Father. I have a small worry at my house."
"Ah, what is your problem, dear madam?"
"Well," she says, "I have two female parrots who seem to think they are prostitutes."
"How can that be?" the priest asks, quite offended.
"As soon as someone passes in front of them, the two female parrots cry out: 'Hey！ We're two hookers! Want to come up, honey? We'll take you up to the seventh heaven【2】!'"
"But that is horrible, my poor madam!"
The kind priest tries to think of a solution. After a moment, he says to the parishioner:
"Listen, I think I have the solution for your problem. You see, I also have two parrots—two beautiful male parrots—but they spend all their time praying with their rosaries 【3】. I even teach them the Bible. Bring your two female parrots; we'll put them in the same cage, and I think my two parrots will teach them a good lesson, such as how to praise and adore the Lord. They will give your parrots a good example."
The lady is thrilled, and that same afternoon, she brings the two female parrots to the priest.
As soon as the two female parrots are in the cage, the females exclaim:
"Hey！ We're two hookers! Want to come up, honey? We'll take you up to the seventh heaven!"
Then one of the male parrots says to his neighbor:
"Stop praying, you can throw away your rosary! Our wish has been fulfilled!"
虔诚的鹦鹉
一个教徒在弥撒过后去见牧师。
“您好，父亲。我有点为家事担忧。”
“啊。您有什么事？夫人？”
“哦,”她说，“我有两只雌鹦鹉，她们认为自己是青楼女。”
“怎么是这样？”牧师觉得触怒了他。
“只要有人经过她们前面，两只雌鹦鹉就叫嚷起来：‘我们是青楼女！过来吧，蜜罐儿，我们可以带你到极乐世界！’ ”
“但是这可太恐怖了，可怜的夫人！”
仁慈的牧师左思右想，不久，他对她说：
“听着，我有个办法。您瞧，我也有两只鹦鹉-两只漂亮的雄鹦鹉-而且他们无时无刻不在与它们的教珠【3】一起祈祷。我甚至教他们学圣经。把您的两只雌鹦鹉带到这儿，咱们把她们放到同一个笼子里，我觉得我的两只鹦鹉一定可以给您的鹦鹉上好课，让她们珍视和溺爱上帝。他们将会给您的鹦鹉树立起一个楷模。”
女人欣喜若狂，当天下午就把她的两只雌鹦鹉带给牧师。
可是两只雌鹦鹉刚进笼子，就大喊：
“我们是青楼女！过来吧，蜜罐儿，我们可以带你到极乐世界！”
这时一只雄鹦鹉对他的同伙说：
“快把你的教珠扔掉，别再祈祷了! 咱俩的夙愿终于实现了！”
【1】. p. 11-12. Perroquets Pieux. 1000 Blagues
【2】. Seventh heaven.
【3】. Rosary.
p. 1307. Oxford advanced learner’s English-Chinese dictionary, 4th ed.
