If I Could, as I Wanted [1]
Barbara Frischmuth [2]
Translated by xia23
“If I could, as I wanted”, men often hear this saying from women. Women who believe they know what they want.
So what do they want, these women, who actually should know?
“I would like to know what suits me”, says Mrs. A., “if only my husband would give me enough money, with which I could buy all of these beautiful things too.”
She can’t afford most of these beautiful things which she knows she should have. She is a house wife, looks after her three children herself and is dependent on her husband’s salary. Should we feel sorry for her because of that? Would she be able to have all of these beautiful things if she were working? As a saleswoman or in a factory? If she would only have to take care of herself?
“I would really like to have a kid”, says Mrs. B.
“But if I imagine” – she works as a foreign language correspondent in a big company – “that I would have to stay at home or I would have to let someone else to take care of my child, I prefer to make sacrifices.
I like my job very much.
But I would also love my child very much.
Am I allowed to replace one for the other?
Or do I not have to decide?
Can I be and remain a good mother and a good foreign language correspondent at the same time?
Th economy says yes.
The psychologists say no and yes.
The husbands say yes and no.
The small children would probably say no, the older ones would say yes, but they are not even asked.”
I must say it clearly. What I’m writing here is just for consideration. I don’t want to say to anyone: “You can hardly, you are not allowed, you should never, you want anyhow, you might now just once or you have to.” Just as it is said again and again: “Women must emancipate themselves!” (from whom?)
“They should finally realize themselves!” (but how?)
Through work?
Does it have to be working?
What kind of work only?
One, that you do, go early in the morning, go back tired from it in the evening?
One, that you don’t do, because it gives you pleasure or confirms you, especially because you buy with your salary for a small piece of independence from your husband? And is it dependent on the working hours?
Do you think I shouldn’t ask the question so unfairly? I might assume, that many women, like me, really love their jobs, which are a necessity for them.
But I must really also assume, that in most cases a necessity exists for women to have a job.
Shouldn’t we women create a new image of ourselves?
One, that does not correspond to the one the industrial society has created?
You are allowed to say quietly, that it has been from “pray and work” of earlier times to a “work and let play the love play with me”.
Should that be all?
Or must we reverse the role, show that we are man enough to take on the role of men?
There are interesting hints in European myths.
The woman as a priestess, pioneer for the classical religions.
The woman as a witch, pioneer for medicine.
The woman as Muse, pioneer for art.
Why shouldn’t we see ourselves as a pioneer for a new way of living with each other, not against each other?
Shouldn’t we just think about how we can replace the offer of ideologies with functional practices? Practices, which are more accommodating to our people than the work process (what an ugly word), in which we are integrated?
I want to vote for leisure to think about, especially for women. We have had to let others think for us for long enough.
Shouldn’t we finally have and use the opportunity?
[1]. p. 51. Wenn ich könnte, wie ich wollte? Kontakt mit der Zeit. Dieter Stöpfgeshoff. Max Hueber Verlag. Germany, 1995
[2]. Barbara Frischmuth. 7/5/1941 - . An Austrian writer. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Frischmuth
