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今天早上接到一封读者的来信，很有感触。从字里行间感觉应该是一个“她”，我很感激她曾经给我写过一封又一封长篇累牍的留言，在其中对我鼓励并以自己的切身经历告诉我，作为女人，遇到很多事情，在生活中该如何处理并如何面对；还盛情邀请我有时间一起出来共进晚餐。她是一个来多伦多几十年的华侨，给我留言也全部都是英文，但是字里行间流露出的真情仍然让我感动不已。
但是今天的留言让我有些愕然，最近我写了一篇《丁字裤无特权》，是开创不久的晚九朝五专栏的一篇文章。顾名思意，这个晚九朝五也就是希望能够表现在都市中，不循规蹈矩不墨守陈规并带一些熟女情怀的成熟话题专栏。有可能最近的几篇文章话题有些激进，加上我配的丁字裤图片有些让这位读者接受不了，她在信中说：“夕子, if I say something to you, please don’t be offended.
I can tell that you’re struggling to get click points so the articles you wrote are not from your heart. You tried different subjects but they didn’t work here, so you may just go back to the basics, write what you really feel. I see your pain.
I didn’t want to say anything to you because I felt that you don’t care about me who left message to you. Some others always reply to their loyal readers, but too bad you didn’t care about your readers like me. This is how I feel, so let you know.”
我很感谢她对我的关注和一直以来的支持，并提出的这些建议。真的谢谢。
我是一个自由散漫的人，写东西纯粹是个人爱好；就好比有人喜欢炒股票有人喜欢唱K有人喜欢赌钱有人喜欢遛狗；而我，喜欢写字儿。我对于写字儿的热情也许你无法理解，有时候大半夜都会爬起来打开电脑写东西，去旅行的时候，也是在等车间隙或者在饭馆的餐桌上，即兴写点什么；很多我的游记都是边玩儿边写出来的。
作为一个自由撰稿人，我一直努力让自己不拘泥在某种特定的题材和特定的写作风格上。和报纸上其他的专栏作者不太一样吧。
譬如我写时政，就会有很多人骂，女人写点风花雪月算了碰什么政治，你有那么有头脑么？你的观点有那么权威么？譬如写性感的熟女文章，也会有人骂，说我贱、教人学坏之类的；就算写游记，也有人说你去的地方一点都不好玩；写散文，写小说，甚至写同性恋题材的文章；每一类型的文章都会有人提出反对意见，都会遭人谩骂，泼冷水。但是我还是要坚持。
正像我之前所说，我是个热爱自由，非常随意的一个人。我愿意写我想要写的东西，但是并不意味着我为了完成任务而“不得不”写完一篇稿子，或者说几期稿子。在多伦多重拾离开我很久的笔头子，我很开心，真的开心。但是，如果在这个开心上面要加一个束缚，我想，这也违背了我的初衷。
写作这么久，每千字15块；指望这个来赚钱糊口是绝对不可能的；回想过去的三年，很多时候我都是在上学，放学后转三部车去打工，然后一直到深夜才回家；回家后基本没时间正经吃点东西，往往是随便吃个面包然后写完作业；到凌晨才打开电脑开始写稿。然后睡上4-5个小时，第二天早起继续挣命，能让我坚持下来并很勤奋去写的，就是心底的这份热爱和激情。
人生短暂，生活为了快乐。
我一直说，欢迎持不同意见的人上来跟我过招。我知道网络高手云集，能够有幸被厉害的高人指教也是件幸事。但是，就事论事我欢迎，人身攻击，就我博客上放自己照片的行为大加讽刺谩骂，我一般直接删除，我这里并不是垃圾桶。
回到那位读者上，非常对不起，我要坚持我的原则。真的抱歉。这样涉猎广泛，其实真的是自己的爱好使然。写作是让我手指跳舞的灵魂和动力，我在写，虽然也渴望有人阅读，有人产生共鸣，但是不可能让人人都理解人人都能接受。
忠于内心，忠于自己的初衷，忠于信仰（写作已经成为我的信仰）；并能够坚持下来，我想这些才是最重要的吧。
我知道我的水平不够优秀，文字也不够优美动人，情节可能稍显混乱；但是，这是我自己的风格，我也会逐步去努力改进，希望大家能看到我的进步。
累：重叠；牍：古代写字的木片。
长篇累牍 (cháng piān lěi dú)
解释：篇幅很长，内容很多。
出处：《隋书·李谔传》：“连篇累牍，不出月露之形。”
你可能想到的是贬义，但是我的确没有任何一点点这个意思。因为你给我的留言都比较长，而且内容很丰富，让我记忆比较深刻，所以用了这个词。如果让你有所误解，实在不是我所想要的。
第一，你的每一个留言我都很用心地回复了，你可以回头去看看我的留言记录。
第二，我很感谢你一直以来对我的支持和鼓励。
第三，此文送给你也送给一些对于我文章有意见的朋友。
我用了长篇累牍来说你的留言，不知道为何引起你的误解和极大的愤慨。从字数来说，你的留言的确很长，我也一直觉得很温暖。从上文中也并没有对你的言论有任何的攻击和侮辱，都是感谢；只是就事论事，对一些你的问题作出解答。另外，我也改动了几处，譬如说把信改成留言。
你的留言我都存下来了，也一直作为鼓舞我的动力，谢谢你曾经对我的支持和鼓励，以下为你的留言：hairycat 在三个人，到底行不行？ 留言于：2008-07-28 14:08:17
Hi 夕子, I told my huby about "kissing many frogs" theory and he found that was very funny (try to make you laugh). I came to Canada by myself 20 years ago and felt alone like crazy while my husband was in China. So trust me, I know how you feel now. One more thing, I don't know if I ask too much if I want to offer you a dinner. Just sit down and listen to you and provide some comfort to your heart (I'm almost 48 year old woman with a 18 year old heart so that I really love younger people). You can say no to me, that's fine, we need time to know each other. Just remember, you're not alone, be happy.
hairycat 在三个人，到底行不行？ 留言于：2008-07-28 08:49:35 删除
hi 夕子, actually I really like to meet with you but I don't drive. Don't know how to reach you. I just want to hug you and give you some support, and let you that you're not alone.
hairycat 在三个人，到底行不行？ 留言于：2008-07-28 03:40:57 删除
回复夕子的评论: Be happy and everyting will be fine. Remember, you have to kiss many frogs to find your prince, hehee, hahaa, right? The last one was only a frog, so let him go. You will find your prince.
hairycat 在三个人，到底行不行？ 留言于：2008-07-27 06:59:02 删除
sorry that I had a typo in the last one. 夕子, you looked very good on TV. You looked very pretty, fit, warm, kind, sunny, talktive, open, etc, blal, blal, I can give you all of the positive ajuctives to discript your performance in the interview. Long time ago, my best male-friend asked me going out, I didn't want to go because I thought I didn't look good. My friend said something to me that I remembered for the rest of my life: as a man, I never pay attention to such a little thing like, if you looked a little fatty, or puffy, or whatever, I just like the way you are. So I will tell you the same, your performance in the interview is excellent. I don't think you are fat or 胖姑娘, you look better on TV than in your pictures. You are a very healthy and pretty girl. Trust me, I'm a mid-aged woman and I see pretty girls like 靓丽的风景，and you are a 靓丽的风景，挺好的， 别折腾自己，傻孩子。
hairycat 在三个人，到底行不行？ 留言于：2008-07-27 06:53:33 删除
回复夕子的评论: 夕子, you looked very good on TV. You looked very pretty, fit, warm, kind, sunny, talktive, open, etc, blal, blal. Long time ago, one of my close male-friend asked me going out, I didn't want to go because I thought I didn't look good. My friend said something to me that I remembered for the rest of my life: as a man, I never pay attention to such a little thing like, if you looked a little fatty, or puffy, or whatever, I just like the way you are. So I will tell you the same, your performance in the interview is very gooexcellent. I don't think you are fat or 胖姑娘, you looked better on TV than in your pictures. You are a very healthy and pretty girl. Trust me, I'm a mid-aged woman and I see pretty girls like 靓丽的风景，and you are a 靓丽的风景，挺好的， 别折腾自己，傻孩子。
hairycat 在三个人，到底行不行？ 留言于：2008-07-26 16:37:48 删除
Also, in one of your articles, you mentioned that your friend got his CFA in a year. I think this is a mistake, you need to write 3 level exams to get the Charter (at least 2 and half years to pass all three level exams. Hope you don't mind that I pointed that out to you.
hairycat 在三个人，到底行不行？ 留言于：2008-07-26 16:35:43 删除
Hi 夕子, just watched your TV interview on Fairchild and really like you on TV. You look better on TV than your pp. You are sunny, open and very confident -- good girl. Wish you great success in the future, make a lot of money and enjoy writing. Way to go!!! I live in Scarborough area and like to go to the flea market to say hi to you in person -- actually I'd like to support your business (your new fans). Would you let me know kindly? I'm learning typing Chinese so typing English is faster for me so I write to you in English.
希望你的生活愉快，大家都好好生活，好好加油！