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1 费迪南德先生的午餐/ Mrs. Ferdinand’s Lunch
One morning Mrs. Ferdinand said to her husband: "Roger, there’s a meeting at Mrs. Young's house at lunch time today，and I want to go to it. I’ll leave you some food for your lunch. Is that all right?" "Oh, yes.” Her husband answered， “That’s quite all right. What are you going to leave for my lunch?"
“This tin of fish，"Mrs. Ferdinand said，"and there are some cold，boiled potatoes and some beans here, too.”
"That’s good.” Mr. Ferdinand said，"I’ll have a good lunch.” So Mrs. Ferdinand went to her meeting. All the ladies lunched at Mrs. Young's house，and at three o’clock Mrs. Ferdinand came home.
"Was your fish nice，Roger?" she asked.
"Yes，but my feet are hurting.” He answered.
"Why are they hurting?" Mrs. Ferdinand asked.
"Well，the words on the tin are: open tin and stand in hot water for five minutes!”
一天早晨，费迪南德太太对她的丈夫说:“罗杰，今天午餐的时候杨太太的家里有一个聚会，我打算去参加，我给你留下了些食品作为你的午饭，行吗?”她的丈夫回答说:“行啊，很好。那你为我留下些什么呢?”
费迪南德太太说:“有一罐鱼，还有一些冷冻的炸土豆和青豆。”
费迪南德先生说:“真是太好了，这下我有顿美味的午餐了。”于是，费迪南德太太去出席聚会了。所有的太太都在杨太太家吃了午餐。三点钟的时候，费迪南德太太回到了家。
“罗杰，鱼好吃吗?”她问丈夫。
丈夫回答到:“好吃，但我的脚伤了。”
费迪南德太太问:“怎么弄伤的呢?”
“你看，罐头上的说明书写着:打开罐头，在烫水中站立五分钟。”
2 这头牛认为自己是匹马
When Regina Mayer's parents dashed her hopes of getting a horse, the resourceful 15-year-old did not sit in her room and sulk. Instead, she turned to a cow called Luna to make her riding dreams come true. Now not only do the two regularly go on long rides through the southern German countryside, they do jumps over hurdles of beer crates and painted logs. Regina joked: "It's incredible really, she thinks she's a horse."
丽贾娜•迈耶的父母没能实现让她养上小马的梦想，然而这位15岁的女孩并未向隅而泣。她找来了一头名为“月神”的奶牛，决心让自己的“骑士梦”变成现实。如今，这她不仅可以在德国南部乡间“千里走单骑”，还能骑牛跳跃啤酒箱和彩绘圆木堆成的障碍物。丽贾娜打趣“月神”道：“这确实不可思议，她还真把自己当马了。”
3 麻烦的孩子
"Daddy，may I go out?" Asked Basil.
"No, it’s raining,” answered daddy. "You would catch cold."
"But daddy，I want to go out in the rain.”
"Here is a book I’ve bought for you，” replied the worried father hastily. "Now sit still and read it.” Basil took the book obediently. But after the first sentence he asked again:
"Daddy，it says here: a man is known by the company he keeps. Is that true? Because if a good man keeps company with a bad man，is the good man bad because he keeps company with the bad man，or is the bad man good because he keeps company with the good man，or do they each change，and if the. . .”
"Basil,” said his father, "you may go out in the rain.”
巴兹尔问他的父亲:“爸爸，我能出去玩吗，”
“不行，外面现在下雨呢，你出去会着凉的。”他的父亲答道。
“可是，爸爸，我想出去淋雨。”
着急的父亲赶忙说:“这是我给你买的一本书，你现在乖乖的坐下来看书吧。”
巴兹尔顺从地拿着书，可刚刚看了一句话就又开口问了起来:“爸爸，书里面说:看一个人所结交的朋友可以看出这个人的为人。这是真的吗?那么，如果一个好人和一个坏人接触，这个好人会不会也变成了坏人呢;或者因为坏人结交了好人从而也变成好人呢;或者他们两个人都变了，好人变成了坏人，坏人反而变成了好人。还有，如果……”
“巴兹尔，”父亲说，“你现在可以出去淋雨了。”
4 船长与大副
The first mate was found to be drunk one day and that day it happened to be the captain’s turn to write in the ship' s log so he wrote: The first mate was drunk today.
The first mate begged and pleaded to the captain to remove that entry but the captain argued that once an entry was made in the company’s Log it couldn’t be deleted. 'The first mate decided to get even. The next time when it was the first mate's turn to write in the log, he wrote: The captain was sober today.
一天大副喝酒喝得大醉，这天正好轮到船长记航行日志。他写道:大副今天喝醉了。
大副苦苦哀求船长不要把这个写进去，但是船长说一旦写进了航海日记就不能删去了。大副因此决定要对船长进行报复。当轮到大副记航海日志的时候，他写道:船长今天是清醒的。
5 超前思维
An old man and a young man are traveling on the train. The young man asks: “Excuse me, what time is it?” The old man does not answer. “Excuse me, sir, what time is it?” The old man keeps silent. “Sir, I’m asking you what time is it. Why don’t you answer?!” The old man says: "Son，the next stop is the last on this route. I don’t know you，so you must be a stranger. If I answer you now, I’ll have to invite you to my home. You’re handsome，and I have a beautiful daughter. You will both fall in love and you will want to get married. Tell me, why would I need a son- in- law who can' t even afford a watch?”
一个老人和一个年轻人坐在火车上旅行。年轻人问: “对不起，现在几点了?”老人没有回答。“对不起，现在几点了?”老人还是保持沉默。“先生，我在问你现在几点了。你为什么不回答我?!”那个老人说:“孩子，下一站就是终点了。我不认识你，所以我们是陌生人。如果我现在回答你，我也许不得不邀请你去我家做客。你很英俊，恰好我有一个美丽的女儿。那样你们会相爱并且结婚。你说我为什么要一个连手表都买不起的女婿呢?”
6 到底有多少大豆
While going through his wife's dresser drawers，a farmer discovered three soybeans and an envelope containing $30 in cash. The farmer confronted his wife，and when asked about the curious items，she confessed: "Over the years，I haven’t been completely faithful to you.”
"When I did fool around, I put a soybean in the drawer to remind myself of my indiscretion，”she explained.
The farmer admitted that he had not always been faithful either, and therefore，was inclined to forgive and forget a few moments of weakness in his wife.
"I'm curious though，”he said，"Where did the thirty dollars come from?"
"Oh that,” his wife replied，"Well，when soybeans hit ten dollars a bushel，I sold out!”
一个农民在他妻子的化妆台抽屉里发现三个大豆和一个装有三十美元的信封。那个农民找到他的妻子问这件奇怪的事。她坦白道:“在过去几年里，我没有完全忠实于你。”
她解释道:“每当我做出对不起你的事时，我就会放一个大豆进去，以此来提醒自己对你的不忠。”
那个农民也承认他也曾有几次做过同样的事。因此，他愿意原谅她的妻子并忘记这一切。
“但我还是奇怪，”他说，“那三十块钱是怎么来的?”
“噢，那钱呀，”他的妻子回答，“你知道吗?每八加仑大豆能卖十块钱呢!那是我卖大豆的钱!”
梅子好！是啊，还是自己会做饭的好：）
梅子，周中快乐！
哈哈，盒子好！他真的站在热水里也是够勇敢的：）
盒子，周中快乐！
菲儿好！这个不会做饭的肯定让巧手大厨菲儿笑话了：）
菲儿，新周快乐！
小小好！嗯，还是自己什么都会做比较好，这样即使没有人给做时，也委屈不了自己：）
小小，新周快乐！
问好松松，新周快乐！
哈哈，橄榄树好！她虽是务实，她的丈夫可受不了：）
橄榄树，周末新周快乐！
阳光好！你的ID图片真是让人高兴：）
阳光，周末新周快乐！
花甲老翁好！一会儿就去读你千里走单骑的浪漫去：）
花甲老翁，新周快乐！
哈哈，唤唤粉好！看你这么可爱的模样，一定有很多人想宠你：）
唤唤粉，新周快乐！
默默好！嗯，他跟默默比，可真是差得太远了：）
默默，新周快乐！
水沫好！嗯，这几个都有意思：）
水沫，周末新周快乐！
小小月好！嗯，还是让他淋雨痛快：）
小小月，周末新周快乐！
哈哈，小婷好！感觉你在家已经很受宠了：）
小婷，新周快乐！
家家好！这家长已经无可奈何了：）
家家，周末新周快乐！
請各位支持,週日愉快.
感谢松松每周的快乐分享，周末愉快！
周末愉快，松松！
东东好！嗯，不会做家务的人多半都是被宠着的人：）
东东，周末快乐！
松松周末愉快！！！
给沙发上的点点上茶：）嗯，有些不常做饭的人，烹调说明也会理解错。好问的孩子让大人不得安宁啊。最后一个的妻子真是太不像话了。
点点，周末快乐！