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周末一笑：管道修理工（转载）

(2017-02-03 16:51:16) 下一个

1 管道修理工/A Plumber

My daughter Judy, who works for a plumbing company, found herself in need of a plumber at home. When she got to work, she asked that a plumber need to be sent. For several days her request was ignored.

In desperation, as she departed one afternoon she left her boss this note - "I will come to work in the morning as soon as a plumber gets to my house. " One arrived shortly before 7 a. m. next morning.

我女儿朱迪在一家管道公司工作。一日，她发现自己家里需要一个管道修理工。于是，去上班时，她要求派一个管修工到她家里。但一连几天，她的要求都没有得到回应。

出于无奈，一天下午下班时，她给老板留下这样一张字条：“明早管修工一到我家，我即刻来上班。”第二天早晨还不到七点钟就来了一位管修工。

2 地洞/Hole in the Ground

There was once a farmer who lived near a road. It was not a busy road, but from time to time, cars passed the farm. Near the farm gate, there was a large hole in the road. This hole was always full of water and the drivers of the cars could not see how deep the hole was. They thought it was probably shallow. Then when they drove into the hole, they could not drive out because it was so deep.

The farmer did not spend much time working on his farm. He spent most of it watching the hole. When a car drove into it, he pulled the car out with his tractor and charged the driver a lot of money for doing this.

One day, a driver of a car said to him: “You must make a lot of money by pulling cars out of this hole for days and nights.”

“Oh, no,”the farmer said.“I don't pull cars out of the hole at night. At night, I fill the hole with water.”

从前，有个农夫住在马路边上。这不是个繁忙的路段，但时不时有汽车从农场路过。就在农场大门的旁边，路当中有个大坑。坑里总是充满了水，汽车司机根本看不出坑有多深。他们会以为很浅。司机们一旦把车开进坑里，就别想再开出来，因为坑太深了。

农夫也不怎么在农场里干活，大部分时间他都在注视着这个坑。当一个汽车开进坑里，他就用他的拖拉机把它拉上来，然后为此向司机索要很多钱。

一天，一位汽车司机对他说：“你日日夜夜把汽车往外拉，肯定挣了很多钱。”

“哦，不，”农夫说，“我夜里不干这活儿，夜里我得朝这坑里注水。”

3 那个男人是谁/Who Was That Man

The owner of a small travel agency saw an attractive couple gazing at his travel poster. Suddenly inspired, he ran up and told them his idea. "I'll give you an all-expenses-paid vacation in exchange for appearing in ads endorsing my agency." They agreed on the spot.

Three weeks later he met them at the airport. While the man checked on their baggage, the travel agent asked the woman about the trip. "The food on the cruise ship was wonderful," she said, "and flying the Colorado was a thrill. But I do have one question. Who was that man I had to sleep with every night?"

一位小旅行社的老板看到漂亮的一男一女正在他的旅游广告牌前驻足观看。他突然灵机一动，跑上前去告诉他们他的主意：“我为你们提供一次免费的旅游，作为交换条件，你们必须在广告中称赞我的旅行社。”他们当场表示同意。

三周后，他在机场见到他们。那位男子在检查行李时，这位旅行经纪人问那女子旅行情况。“游船上的食物很好，”她说，“而且飞越科罗拉多大峡谷实在刺激。不过我确实想问一个问题，那每天晚上我都必须和他睡在一起的男人是谁？”

4 袋鼠的能力/The Ability of the Kangaroo

The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height raised to 30 feet. But, the kangaroo got out again.

A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they will build the fence?"

"I don't know," said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked."

动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。但是第二天早上，人们发现这动物在围墙外面蹦跳着。于是围墙高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠还是跑了出来。动物园经理甚感恼火，又叫人把围墙高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠还是逃了出来。

一个长颈鹿问袋鼠：“你认为他们会把围墙建到多高？”

“我不知道，”袋鼠说，“如果他们继续开着大门，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”

5 说不的男子/A Man Who Said No

A friend of mine noticed a man staggering about in the Times Square subway station. A well-dressed Wall Street type, his coat was unbuttoned, a briefcase dangled from his hand and he'd obviously had one too many.

Asked if he was all right, the man gave a slurred but affirmative response. However, my friend simply could not see someone brave the rough maw of a New York subway without trying to help. He followed the chap, and again asked, "Are you sure you're all right? What subway are you looking for? Do you need help getting home?"

At last, the object of his attentions snarled, in a low voice, "Leave me alone! I'm an undercover cop!"

我的一位朋友看到一个男子在时代广场的地铁车站摇摇晃晃地走。那个人穿着时髦，敞着怀，一个手提箱在他的手里悬吊着，很明显他是多喝了一杯。

我朋友问他怎么样，那男子含糊而肯定地回答说没问题。然而我朋友就是不能眼看着有人在纽约地铁独入是非之地而置之不顾。他跟在那家伙的后面，又一次问道：“你肯定你没事？你在找哪个地铁站？你需要帮忙回家吗？”

他所注意的对象终于忍耐不住了，对他低声咆哮道：“你给我走开！我是便衣警察！”

6 人们什么时候说话最少/When Do People Talk Least?

Student A: When do people talk least?

Student B: In February.

Student A: Why?

Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.

学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?

学生乙：在二月。

学生甲：为什么呢?