南山松

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周末一笑: 问问题(转载)

(2016-01-29 15:22:07) 下一个

1 问问题/Asking A Question

During the computer class, the teacher chastised one boy for talking to the girl sitting behind him.

"I was just asking her a question.” the boy said.

"If you have a question, ask me, "the teacher replied

“OK, "the boy answered. “Do you want to go out with me Friday night?"

计算机课上，老师批评一个男生，因为他和后边的女生说话。

“我只不过问她一个问题。”男生说。

“如果你有问题，问我好了。”老师说道。

“那好吧，”这个男生说，“周五晚上你愿意和我一起出去吗?”

2 好消息和坏消息/Good News and Bad News

There’s good news and bad news,” the divorce lawyer told his client.

"I could sure use some good news,” sighed the client. "What’s it？”

"Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement.”

"And the bad news？”

"After the divorce, she's marrying your father.”

“有好消息，也有坏消息，”离婚律师告诉他的当事人。

“我总能利用一些好消息吧，”当事人叹了口气说，“是什么好消息?”

“你妻子没有要求将你未来的继承财产也划入裁决的范围。”

“那么坏消息呢?”

“离婚以后，她将与你父亲结婚。”

3 教育阶段/ Education Stage

The dean of Engineering had once walked into a class, and said "Good Morning.”

The whole class chorused" Good Morning.”

"Hi，you are freshmen aren’t you?" he asked.

One student bolder than the others asked him how he knew.

"Well，” he said. "When I say ‘Good Morning' to a class， if they are freshmen they say Good Morning' too. If they are sophomores， they quietly fold their papers away, and look at me. A class of juniors will look at me over the top of their papers, and then get back to them. A class of seniors will ignore my greeting, and keep reading the papers. When I say `Good Morning' to a class of graduate students, they write it down.”

一天工程系的主任走进一个班，说道:“早上好。”

全班齐声回复:“早上好。”

“你们是大一的吧?”主任问道。

一个胆子比较大的同学问主任是怎么知道的。

“嗯，”主任说，“如果是大一的新生，当我向他们问早上好的时候，他们也一定会说‘早上好’的。如果他们是大二的学生，他们会轻轻地合上课本，然后集体望着我。大三的学生则会从书本上抬起头看我一眼，然后马上又继续读书了。大四的学生则会对我视而不见，继续看书。至于研究生班的学生，我向他们问早上好，他们就会把这句话写在笔记上。”

4 生日来临之际/As the years turn

For her 82nd birthday, I surprised my grandmother with a birthday greeting signed by the President. (Upon request, this service is available to seniors over 80.) When I asked grandma how she felt receiving a card from the White House, she had a ready answer. "There's no privacy in this country anymore, "she said. "They even keep track of your birthday. "

我奶奶过82岁的生日时，我送给她一份惊奇的礼物—一张由总统签名的生日贺卡。(根据规定，80岁以上的老年人可得到此项服务。)当我问奶奶收到来自白宫的贺卡有何感想时，她毫不犹豫地回答说:“在这个国家，再也没有隐私了，他们就连你的生日都追踪着。”

5 训兽童/A little zookeeper

A boy of about ten was sitting on a city bus with a briefcase on his lap. Periodically the youngster would whisper into his coat. A woman passenger caught his eye with a quizzical look and, in response, the boy produced a small white mouse from his shirt pocket. "He's just a baby. "explained the youngster. "His parents are in here. " Opening his briefcase, he brought forth a pair of slightly Larger white mice from among a dozen or so that scurried around inside. By this time several other passengers had formed an audience, and the boy patiently explained his interest in mice, how to take care of them, their eating habits, their different personalities and so on.

As the bus pulled up to his stop, the boy slipped the mice back into his briefcase and rose to leave his rapt audience. Starting down the steps, he turned back for a moment.

"They are for my snake. "he said and disappeared out of the door.

一位十岁的男孩腿上放着手提箱，正坐在一辆城市公共汽车上。这个孩子不断地对着他衣服小声嘟嚷。一位女乘客从这个男孩的眼神里看到一种疑感。紧接着这个小男孩从他的衬衣兜里拿出一只小白鼠，并解释说:“这是个鼠崽子。他的父母也在这里。”打开他的手提箱，他从大约有十几个的白鼠中挑出一对稍大的。这时其他的乘客也围了过来。小男孩耐心地讲着他对白鼠的兴趣，怎样照顾它们，它们的饮食习惯及不同的特性。

待车在汽车站停下时，小男孩把小白鼠放回到手提箱，站起来，离开了这些着了迷的观众。他下车时转过身对大家说:“这些是用来喂我的蛇的。”说着，他就消失了。

6 聪明的大夫/"Clever" doctor

As a doctor is examining a patient, his nurse bursts in and says,” Excuse me, but that man you just treated walked out of the door and collapsed on the front step. What should I do?"

"Turn him around, "the doctor answered, "So it looks like he was walking in.”

大夫正为一个病人做检查时，她的护士闯了进来说:“请原谅，刚才在您这儿看病的那位病人出门时摔在前面的台阶上了，我该怎么办呢?”

大夫回答:“给他转个身，这样，别人看起来会以为他是正往里走。”

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