周末一笑: 马克·吐温的领带(转载)

1 马克·吐温的领带/Mark Twain's Tie

Returning from a visit with Harriet Beecher Stowe one day, Mark Twain was reprimanded by his wife for having forgotten to wear a necktie.

Some time later a messenger arrived at Mrs. Stowe's door with a small package. Inside was a black necktie and a brief note: "Here is a necktie. Take it out and look at it. I think I stayed half an hour this morning without this necktie. At the end of that time, will you kindly return it, as it is the only one I have. Mark Twain."

一天，马克·吐温从斯托夫人那里回来，妻子因为他忘记带领带出门而责备他。

不久，一个送信的人来到了斯托夫人家门口，还带来了一个小包裹，里面装着黑色的领带和一张便条，“这是我的领带，请您拿出来看一看。我想今天早上我在您家停留的半小时，没有带领带。时间到了，能请您归还领带吗，因为我仅此一条。马克·吐温。”

2 里根的雄心/Reagan's Ambition

Reagan is the oldest president in the history of the United States. He has been on many occasions cleverly counterattacked his opponents' attack against his age. After making it known to the public that "he has Alzheimer's disease and his days are numbered", he, once again, suddenly appeared at a Republican campaign rally. He said:"At present, I'm afraid I can't run for the presidency in 1996, but this does not rule out the possibility of my running for presidency in 2000." Then, all stood up and applauded, even including his old enemies.

里根是美国历史上年龄最大的总统，他曾多次巧妙地回击了对手对他年龄的攻击。他在公布了自已“已得老年痴呆症，来日无多”后，突然又一次出现在一个共和党的竞选集会上，并说:“就目前而言，我恐怕不能竞选1996年的总统了，但这并不排除我参加2000年总统竞选的可能性.”这时，全场起立，甚至连他的宿敌也为之鼓掌。

3 以生命来报答/Repay with Life

The English poet and satirist, Richard Savage, was once living in London in great poverty. In order to earn money, he had written the story of his life, but not many copies of the book had been sold in the shops, and Savage was living from hand to mouth. As a result of his lack of food, he became very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had looked after him, he got well again. After a week or two the doctor sent a bill to Savage for his visits, but poor Savage hadn't any money and couldn't pay it. The doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again, but still no money came. After several weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money. In the end he came to Savage's house and asked him for payment, saying to Savage, "You know you owe your life to me and I expected some gratitude from you."

"I agree," said Savage, "that I owe my life to you, and to prove to you that I am not ungrateful for your work I will give my life to you." With these words he handed to him two volumes entitled The life of Richard Savage.

英国诗人、讽刺作家理查德·萨维奇一度在伦敦过着贫困潦倒的生活，为了赚钱，他曾著书讲述有关他生平的故事，但是这部书在书店里没卖出几本，萨维奇过着朝不保夕的日子。因为缺乏食物，他病得很厉害。后来，由于照看他的医生医术高明，他又恢复了健康。过了一两个星期，医生给萨维奇送来了一张讨要诊费的账单，但是贫穷的萨维奇没有钱来偿付。医生等了一个月后又送来了账单，但仍然未索回分文。几个星期后，他又送来账单要钱。最后，医生本人来到了萨维奇的家中，对他说:“你知道你欠我一条命，而我希望你能有所报答。”

“是的，”萨维奇说，“我是欠你一条命，为了向你证明我对你的诊治并非不感激，我将把我的生命献给你。”说着这番话，萨维奇递给医生两卷书，名叫《理查德萨维奇的一生》。

4 很呆/pretty dumb

Phoebe is reading to Joey some comment on his acting.

Phoebe: Um, the off-Broadway play people said you were "pretty but dumb."

Joey: Oh.

Phoebe: Oh no wait, I'm sorry, that's "pretty dumb".

菲比正在给乔伊读一则有关他表演的评论。

菲比: 那些小剧场的人说你“帅但是呆”。

乔伊: 哦。

菲比: 哦，不，等等，抱歉。他们是说“很呆”。

5 不沉的船/The Boat Never Sink

Sandy: And what's the one kind of boat that can never ever sink?

Joey: What kind?

Sandy: A friendship.

桑迪:什么样的船绝不会沉没?

乔伊:哪种呢?

桑迪:朋友之船(友谊)。

6 爱因斯坦和他的司机/Einstein and His Chauffeur

Einstein was on his way to another lecture, and he felt exhausted. His chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey, Sir, I've heard your speech many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off."

"Sounds great," the scientist said.

When they got to the auditorium, Einstein put on the chauffeur's hat and settled in the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.

One professor said "Yes". Then he launched into a highly technical question.

The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment but quickly recovered. "That's an easy one,” he replied, "so easy, I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it."

爱因斯坦在去另一个讲座的路上，倍感疲倦，他的司机出了个主意:“嗨，先生，您的讲座我已经听过许多次了。我打赌我能作这个讲座，让您休息一个晚上。”

“那太好了。”科学家说。

到了礼堂，爱因斯坦戴上了司机的帽子，坐在了后排。而司机走上讲台，开始讲演。讲演结束后，他问听众是否有什么问题。

一个教授说有，并提出了一个高深的学术问题。

司机一时被问懵了，但很快就镇定下来。“这很容易，”他说，“太容易了，我要让我的司机来回答。”

 

[南山松]

回复 'mzl9876' 的评论 :
梅子好！嗯，他可真是雄心勃勃,太幽默了：）
梅子,新周快乐!

[mzl9876]

哇哇哇哇，里根总统是很幽默滴。

[南山松]

回复 'SnowFallingOnWater' 的评论 :
雪花好！嗯，聪明的司机啊：）
雪花，周末快乐!

[SnowFallingOnWater]

哈哈哈。。。爱因斯坦的司机很聪明，问好松松，周末愉快

[南山松]

回复 '水沫' 的评论 :
水沫好! 很高兴你选了三个:)
水沫,周末快乐!

[南山松]

回复 '思念青荷' 的评论 :
青荷好! 嗯,他真可爱:)
青荷, 周末快乐!

[南山松]

回复 '菲儿天地' 的评论 :
哈哈,菲儿, 周末快乐!何喜之有啊?~~~

[南山松]

回复 'spot321' 的评论 :
点点好! 嗯,喜欢名人的幽默.
谢谢点点一直喜欢周末一笑,周末快乐!

[南山松]

回复 '50后的姥姥' 的评论 :
美眉好! 我也很喜欢这两个:)
美眉,周末快乐!

[南山松]

回复 'momo_sharon' 的评论 :
默默好！有些名人很幽默, 友谊之船不会沉：）
默默，周末快乐!

[南山松]

回复 'Michelle_Lee' 的评论 :
小婷好! 嗯,friendship will never ever sink:)
小婷,周末快乐!

[南山松]

回复 '花甲老翁' 的评论 :
花甲老翁好!是的,友谊长存:)
花甲老翁,周末快乐!

[南山松]

回复 'erdong' 的评论 :
东东好！是啊，近朱者赤啊：）
东东，周末快乐!

[南山松]

回复 '小声音' 的评论 :
小小好! 嗯,和你的友谊之船不会沉:) 牛人的司机也牛啊~
小小, 周末快乐!

[水沫]

喜欢后面三个，尤其是最后一个~~松松周末愉快~

[思念青荷]

哈哈,好可爱的马克吐温

[菲儿天地]

周末快乐，恭喜松松！：）

[spot321]

伟人的幽默也是值得称道的。一如既往的喜欢小松变换多样的周末一笑！问好小松！祝周末愉快！

[50后的姥姥]

5，不沉的船，智慧！6，司机聪明过人！

[momo_sharon]

名人的幽默。朋友之船不会沉，说得极好。
松松周末愉快！

[Michelle_Lee]

Yeah, friendship will never ever sink.
谢谢松松分享，祝松松 周末快乐！

[花甲老翁]

朋友之船(友谊)不會沉沒,朋友們好.

[erdong]

司机很机智，没白给爱因斯坦开车！
松松周末快乐！

[小声音]

与松松的友谊之船永远不会沉：））
不愧是爱因斯坦的司机，也是聪明过人~~~~~~
松松周末快乐！

[南山松]

回复 '波城冬日' 的评论 :
第一个,马克.吐温去别人家做客时没带领带,受到妻子的责备,然后他就让人专门把领带送到他做客的人家,并留个条子说,看过领带后请再还回来,因为他只有这一个领带.
第三个,那个诗人没有钱还给医生,也承认他欠医生一条命,就把他写的自己的故事的书《理查德萨维奇的一生》送给了医生.

[波城冬日]

我第一第三个没明白，哈哈！

[南山松]

回复 '波城冬日' 的评论 :
哈哈,问好冬日,周末快乐!

[波城冬日]

娃哈哈，我抢到沙发啦！