周末一笑: 生日(转载)

1 生日 Birthday
 

Professor: When is your birthday?

Kid: May 9.

Professor: Which year?

Kid: Every year.
 

教授：你的生日是什么时候？

孩子：5月9日。

教授：哪一年？

孩子：每年都是。
 

2 让人无奈的孩子 Boy, Oh Boy
 

When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. One Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming, grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."

As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty.”
 

我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。一个星期六，我开始抗议了。“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许胡扯，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。”

我刚转身要走，就听我儿子说：“来，斯蒂文，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”
 

3 愚蠢的问题 Stupid Question
 

Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Every day, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"

After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.

“Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily.

But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?”
 

丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。每天都有数千人经过他的门口，而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点？”

几个月后，丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，我要去买一只大钟，把它挂在这儿的墙上。”于是他买了一只钟，把它挂在了墙上。

“现在人们总不会再停下来问我时间了。”他高兴地想。

可是打那以后，每天仍有许多人停下来，看看钟，然后问丹:“这钟准吗？” 
 

4 烟卷迟早都会点着的 The cigarettes will be on fire
 

Mary was so disgusted at her husband's cigarette smoking that she complained to him one day.

'I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday.'

'Don't worry, dear. All the cigarettes will be on fire sooner or later.' He said with a smile.
 

玛丽非常讨厌丈夫吸烟，一天对他抱怨说：“我希望有一天所有卷烟厂都失火。”

“不用担心，亲爱的，所有的烟卷迟早都会点着的。”他笑着说。
 

5 跳上跳下 Jump up and down
 

Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?

Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
 

妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？

汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇动瓶子了。
 

6 给女士让座 Give up your seat to a lady
 

Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."

"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.

"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
 

小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，他叫我让座给一位女士。”

妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。”

“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。”
 

(from internet)

 

 

[南山松]

回复 '闲闲客' 的评论 :
谢谢闲闲客喜欢,问好!

[闲闲客]

我喜欢每一个！

[南山松]

回复 'SnowFallingOnWater' 的评论 :
雪花好!笑一笑,十年少:)
雪花,母亲节快乐!新周快乐!

[SnowFallingOnWater]

哈哈哈。。。来笑一笑，每周惯例

[南山松]

回复 '尼斯' 的评论 :
尼斯好!周末快乐!母亲节快乐!

[南山松]

回复 'fengdaming' 的评论 :
问好fengdaming!#5 非常可笑:)
fengdaming,周末快乐!

[南山松]

回复 'womaninhome' 的评论 :
问好家MM! 周末快乐!母亲节快乐!

[尼斯]

节日过来笑一笑，祝松松节日快乐！

[fengdaming]

因出外很久没来。这次选5.

[womaninhome]

周末一定要来松松家，轻松又愉快。

[南山松]

回复 'spot321' 的评论 :
点点好! 你说的透彻啊,孩子们就希望开心,有乐:)
点点,母亲节快乐!周末快乐!

[南山松]

回复 '京燕花园' 的评论 :
哈哈,Yanzi, I totally agree with you:)
Yanzi, Happy Mother's Day!

[南山松]

回复 '50后的姥姥' 的评论 :
问候美眉! 也祝你母亲节快乐!周末快乐!

[南山松]

回复 '林贝卡' 的评论 :
贝卡好! 是啊,人家想出绝妙的办法来弥补过失:)
贝卡,周末快乐!母亲节快乐!

[南山松]

回复 'nycman' 的评论 :
哈哈,纽约美眉,#5的方法不错,吃完药还能锻炼身体:)
读了你的 Mentor 的文章,觉得有一个很了不起的 Mentor 引导真是幸运,起点都比别人高啊.我现在只能满眼艳羡地仰视你了~~~
纽约美眉,周末快乐!母亲节快乐!

[南山松]

回复 '夏圓' 的评论 :
圓圓好! 想想你的笑容,一定可爱极了~~~
圓圓,周末快乐!节日快乐!

[南山松]

回复 '特高兴' 的评论 :
特高兴好! 周末快乐!

[南山松]

先总回答大家一个吧:)
早晨发完贴后没多久就进不了文学成博客的任何一篇文章了.最近上文学成没准,不知道什么时候就忽然进不了了,以后若见我久不回贴,八成我又遇到麻烦了:(
祝大家节日快乐,周末快乐!

[spot321]

嘿嘿，孩子就是孩子，怎么说也不管用，妈妈说了一大堆的不许，结果还是出了错，孩子们开始拿自己找乐儿了。孩子们就希望天天都有生日过，吃蛋糕不是主要的，最主要的是可以撒欢儿的大玩儿一次。小松的主题体现了一个母亲的情怀。祝母亲节快乐！

[京燕花园]

Happy Mother's Day, SongSong!
1, nice birthday to have today!
2, little kids always find ways to make mothers crazy!
3, time and weather, the forever topic.
4, We can sense the smoke coming out of her ears!
5, dance to the song shake it up ~~~
6, daddy is in big trouble!

[50后的姥姥]

到你这里来乐一乐！祝你母亲节快乐！

[林贝卡]

Little Tom jumped up and down after taking the medicine. LOL.
Songsong, thanks for all these hilarious jokes. Happy Mother's Day to you.

[nycman]

下次吃药时要跟5学，跳一跳！
最重要的，母亲节快乐！

[夏圓]

这回真笑出大鼻涕泡了，哈哈哈！；）））
松松周末快乐！

[特高兴]

哈哈哈哈哈 a chain of laughter