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周末一笑: 交换三明治

(2015-02-21 04:39:25) 下一个

1 交换三明治 Exchange Sandwiches

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they took sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

有两位律师走进一家小餐厅。点了两份饮料。然后他们就从他们的公文包当中拿出三明治开始吃。服务生感到相当不妥，就走过去告诉他们：“你们不可以在这里吃你们自己的三明治！”这两位律师彼此看了一下对方，耸耸他们的肩膀，然后就交换了三明治。

2 心脏移植 Hearth Transplant

A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only heart available is that of a sheep. The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the sheep heart into the man. A few days after the operation, the man comes in for a checkup. The doctor asks him "How are you feeling?"

The man replies, "Not B-A-A-A-A-D!"

有一名需要心脏移植的男子被他的医生告知，唯一可用的心脏就是一只羊的心脏。这名男子最后同意了，医生就将羊的心脏移植到这名男子身上。就在手术后几天，这名男子前来接受身体检查。医生问他：“你现在感觉怎么样呀？”

这名男子回答说：“还不错、错、错、错、错。”

3 快速清扫 Quick Cleanup

Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It reads "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

不速之客就在路上，我妈妈，一个完美的家庭主妇，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。一会儿之后，当她去检查的时候，她吃惊了，曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条，纸条上写着：“谢谢你不往浴缸里看。”

5 我怎么把口香糖取出来 How do I get the gum out

Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?"

当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”

6 金鱼 Goldfish

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom.

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛） them!

斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。

弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？

斯丹：浴室。

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？

斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！