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1 给哪一个回电话 Which One to Call Back
After I took office as mayor of a small Kentucky city, an unfortunate incident precipitated some hateful phone calls to my home. One night while I was conducting a city-council meeting, my wife answered the phone.
"Is this the home of Bert May, the mayor?" a woman's voice asked.
When my wife explained that I was at a meeting and would return her call if she left a name and number, the caller said. "That's confidential. This is his girlfriend. "
My wife, knowing this was all a ruse, calmly responded, "Lady, if you don't leave your name and number, he won't know which one to call back."
我上任为肯塔基州的一个小城的市长后，发生了一件不幸的事，从而招致了一些可恨的电话打到我家里。一天夜里，我还在主持市政会议，我妻子接到了一个电话。
“是伯特·麦因、市长的家吗？”一个女人的声音问道。
我妻子向她解释说我还在开会，如果她留下姓名和电话号码的话，我会给她回话。通话人马上说：“这个保密。我是他的女朋友。”
我妻子知道这完全是欺诈。她镇静地回答说：“女士，如果你不留下姓名和号码的话，他就不会知道给哪一个回话。”
2 地图的引力 The Attraction of the Map
Mr. Smith taught English at a school .At the beginning of his lesson, he liked to have one of his students give a report on any subject. When it was Jack's turn, he told his audience about his elder brother who was a local worker. But during the report, his eyes were staring at the world map on the wall all the time. Mr. Smith knew that Jack didn't look at the audience because he was nervous. He said to Jack jokingly, "We can see you miss your brother very much. But is he 0. K. now in South America?"
史密斯先生在一所学校教英语。在每次课的开始，他喜欢叫一个学生上讲台作讲演，题材不限。轮到杰克作讲演时，他向听众讲述了他的哥哥。他的哥哥就在当地工作。但在讲述过程中，杰克的眼睛一直盯着墙上的世界地图。史密斯先生知道杰克不敢看听众是因为紧张。他开玩笑似地对杰克说：“我们能看出你非常想念你的哥哥，他现在在南美还好吗？”
3 放在地板上 I’ll Keep it on My Floor
My 16-year-old son, Jeff, is a boy any parent would be proud of --until you see the floor of his room, covered with layers of clothes, magazines and sports equipment.
Recently I accompanied Jeff to the credit union where he opened up his first bank account. While the credit officer was processing the paper work, I told Jeff he needed a safe, accessible place to store his passbook. "I know, Mom," he replied. "I' 11 keep it on my floor.”
我的儿子杰弗，十六岁。他是一个令父母感到自豪的孩子，只是你别去看他房间的地板，那上面总是堆满了一层层的衣服、杂志及运动器材。
不久前，我带杰弗到信用联社去开他自己的账户，这是他第一次开银行账户。当信用社职员在办理手续的时候，我便告诉杰弗说他需要一个安全可靠的地方来保存密码本。“我知道，妈妈，”他回答说，“我会在地板上找到地方的。”
4 成年人的抉择 An Adult Decision
The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for one. He argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions. Sure enough, a few days after his 18th birthday, he come home with a tattoo. Although I was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculinity he had chosen. There, on his shoulder, was a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse.
我儿子十八岁前的那一年，他常常向我提出准许他文身。但我拒绝允许他这样做。他争辩说他不久就要成为男子汉了，并说他应该能够作出成年人的抉择了。果然，十八岁生日的几天后，他文了身，回到家里。尽管我对此感到不高兴，但出于好奇，我想看看他选择了什么雄性象征物。原来是他在肩上文了一个两英寸长的米老鼠像。
5 哪一级 What Grade
Kristin, my 17-year-old niece, had just gotten her driver's license and offered to take her mom's car to the gas station. She pulled up to the full-service pumps, and the attendant asked, "What grade, miss?"
"Eleventh!" Kristin replied.
我的十七岁的侄女，科里斯蒂，刚刚拿到驾照。她主动提出去加油站给她妈妈的车加油。她把车开到昼夜服务的加油泵前。服务员问她：“（加油加到）哪一级，小姐？”
“十一（年）级！”科里斯蒂回答说。
6 她是左撇子 She Is Left-handed
A married couple, both avid golfers, were discussing the future one night. "Honey," the wife said, "if I were to die and you were to remarry, would you two live in this house?"
"I suppose so-it's paid for."
"How about our car?" continued the woman. "Would the two of you keep that?"
"I suppose so-it's paid for.
"What about golf clubs? Would you let her use them too?"
"Heck, no," the husband blurted out. "She's left-handed.
一对已婚夫妇都热心于打高尔夫球。一天夜里，他们在谈论将来。“亲爱的，”妻子说，“如果我死了，而你再婚，你们两个会住在这个房子里吗？”
“我想是的----这是理所当然的。”
“那我们的汽车呢？”妇人继续问道，“你们两个会留着这辆车吗？”
“我想是的----这是理所当然的。”
“那我们的球棒呢？你也会让她用吗？”
“见鬼，不，”丈夫脱口而出，“她是左撇子。”
(from Internet)
闲闲客,新年快乐!
点点好! 就是,纸里总是包不住火.要想人不知,除非己莫为:)
点点,新年快乐!
美丽好! 周末,节日快乐!
雪花好! 周末,节日快乐!
松松周末愉快!
问好白开水! 祝你也新年快乐!
fengdaming好!
谢谢欣赏,节日快乐!
nycman好! 同意你说的, 电话那头该是何等无趣:)
nycman, 新年快乐!
贝卡好! 很高兴你喜欢,也欣赏你的总结,言简意赅:)
贝卡,节日快乐!
－－一句“他就不会知道给哪一个回话。”，看似云淡风轻，可想象电话另一端的样子。哈哈。。。
新年快乐！
1. A smart and calm wife;
2. A wonderful English teacher;
3. A typical teenager's room;
4. An adult decision--a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse;
5. Which grade--a nice pun;
6. ...