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1 作文课The Composition Class
The students in the composition class were assigned the task of writing an essay on "The Most Beautiful Thing I Ever Saw". The student who，of all the members of the class，seemed the least sensitive to beauty, handed in his paper first with astonishing speed. It was short and to the point. He had written: "The most beautiful thing I ever saw was too beautiful for words.”
在作文课上，学生们被布置写一篇题为“我所见到过的最美的东西”的文章。在整个班级中看起来对美最不敏感的那个学生用令人吃惊的速度第一个交了卷。这篇文章短而扼要。他写道: “我所见到过的最美的东西美得无法用语言来表达。”
2 我是个单身汉I'm a bachelor
Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back.
"Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes," Jack thinks for a while and said "I'm a bachelor."
杰克骑车摔伤，去医院治疗。一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填。杰克填好后递上表格。
“还有什么漏填的?”护士问。“有！”杰克想了想说，“我是个单身汉。”
“还有什么漏填的?”护士问。“有！”杰克想了想说，“我是个单身汉。”
3 父亲的亲笔签名Father's John Hancock
Teacher: Tom, you haven't shown your parents the examine papers， have you?
Tom：Yes, I have，sir.
Teacher: But I can't find your father's John Hancock on papers at all.
Tom: Here, sir. (Showing his whipped arms to the teacher.）
老师：汤姆，你没把你的考卷给你父母看，对吗？
汤姆：不，老师，我给他们看了。
老师：可是我在上面根本没找着你父亲的亲笔签名啊。
汤姆：在这里，老师。（向老师展示手臂上的鞭伤）
4 倔强的马A Stubborn Horse
The great novelist had gone mad, but now there seemed to be some hope for his recovery. For six months, he had been sitting at his typewriter pounding out a novel. Finally, he pronounced it completed and brought the book to his psychiatrist, who eagerly began reading it aloud:
"General Jackson leaped upon his faithful horse and yelled, 'Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, giddyap"' The doctor thumbed through the rest of the manuscript." There's nothing here but 500 pages of giddyaps!" he exclaimed.
"Stubborn horse," explained the writer.
大作家疯了，但现在似乎还有恢复的希望。六个月以来，他都坐在打字机旁用力地敲一部小说。终于，他宣称书已写好并把它拿到精神病医生那里。医生急切地大声朗读起来：
“杰克逊将军跨上他的忠实的马，喊道：‘驾，驾，驾，驾……’”医生翻了翻剩下的手稿。“五百页纸竟全是‘驾，驾’！”他惊奇地说。
“是匹倔强的马，”作家解释道。
5 小小的意外A Small Surprise
When his wife was expecting their third child, a father decided to tell his two sons, ages seven and nine, the facts of life. He checked out several books from the library on how parents should approach the subject. After stumbling through an explanation, he took a deep breath, and said, "Now, boys, do you have any questions?"
"Yes," the younger boy answered immediately.
"Go ahead," said the man, his heart in his throat.
"Can we," his son asked, "have new baseball gloves?"
当妻子要生第三胎时，父亲决定给分别已七岁和九岁的两个儿子讲关于性的知识。他从图书馆查出几本书，都是关于父母如何涉及这个话题的。在结结巴巴地解释一番后，他长出了一口气，然后说：“好了，孩子们，有什么问题吗？”
“有，”小儿子立即回答。
“问吧，”爸爸说，心提到了嗓子眼儿。
“我们，”儿子问道，“可以得到新棒球手套了吗？”
6 电话交谈A Talk on the Phone
I teach computer courses, and my students often call me at home with questions. One morning I was on the phone, explaining in computer language the solution to a problem, while a repairman was fixing my refrigerator. After an endless stream of "C colon, back- slash, greater than, cd, backslash, DOS, 0 colon" and so on, I hung up and found the repairman staring at me. "Lady," he asked, are you a spy?"
我教计算机课程，我的学生经常打电话到我家问我问题。一天早晨，我在电话里用计算机语言解释一个问题的答案，当时一个维修工正在给我修电冰箱。经过一连串的“C冒号，回车，大于号，CD，回车，DOS，C冒号”等等，我挂上电话发现那位维修工在盯着我。“女士，”他问，“你是个间谍吗？”
（from Internet)
嗯，wawale，有时真是隔行如隔山：）
wawale，周末快乐！
嗯，人家说的合乎情理，艳遇的渠道真是太多了~~~
点点，周末快乐！
问好小小!那真是个聪明人：）
小小，周末快乐！
哈哈，小和尚妹妹，笑得多多益善：）
小和尚妹妹，周末快乐！
尼斯，愿你天天笑口常开:)
尼斯，周末快乐！
很高兴桐儿能笑开怀：）
桐儿，周末快乐！
问好贝卡！他真会用简洁的方式逃避写作：）
谢谢贝卡喜欢，周末快乐！
哈哈，花甲老翁，搭訕的确是一门艺术：）
花甲老翁，周末快乐！
西西大美银，笑多了脸出褶子酱紫嘛^_^
西西大美银，笑多了脸出褶子酱紫嘛^_^
第二个笑话小伙子很聪明，松松周末快乐！
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈，最喜欢最后一个。。。。
俺９笑，头上有九个点，比你又多三笑。 ＝）
俺6笑，比你又多三笑。一笑话一笑，气气你～～～～～
松松周末愉快！
好看， 开怀。
谢谢。
Hi, Songsong, thank you so much for sharing these wonderful and funny jokes. I really appreciate it. Have a nice weekend.