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1 Whose Dog Was the Smartest谁的狗最聪明
Four friends were arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The first man, an engineer, called to his dog, "T Square, show your stuff. " The dog trotted over to a desk, pulled out a paper and pencil, and drew a perfect triangle.
The next guy, an accountant, called to his dog, "Slide Rule, go ahead. " The dog went to the kitchen, nibbled opened a bag of cookies and divided the contents into four equal piles.
The next man, a chemist, beckoned his dog, Beaker, to show what he could do. The dog went to the fridge, took out a quart of milk and poured out exactly eighty ounces into a measuring cup.
The last man was a government worker. "Coffee Break," he hollered to his dog, "go to it. " With that, the dog jumped to his feet, soiled the paper, ate the cookies and drank the milk.
四个朋友在为谁的狗最聪明而争吵。第一个人是个工程师，他对自己的狗喊道：“T形角，使出你的本领来。”这只狗便跑向一个书桌，拉出一张纸和一支铅笔，画出了一个完美的三角形。
第二个人是个会计。他对他的狗说：“珠算法，上吧。”那狗直奔厨房，用嘴咬开一袋甜饼并把饼分成了四等份。
第三个人是位药剂师。他命令他的狗----量杯，表现一下。但见那狗径直走向冰箱，叼出一瓶牛奶并精确地把八盎司牛奶倒入一个量杯中。
最后一位是政府职员。“休息时间，”他对自己的狗喊叫，“去吧。”话还未落，那狗便跳将起来，踏污了那张纸，吃掉了所有的甜饼，喝光了那杯牛奶。
2 A Pleasant Surprise惊喜
A friend of mine had been wanting new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed.
A few days later a neighbor came over to visit my friend. After admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, "All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen. "
我朋友有很长一段时间一直想在厨房添置一些厨柜，但她丈夫坚持说这是铺张浪费。她去娘家过了两周，回到家来，发现厨房里新添置了漂亮的厨柜，这令她喜出望外。
几天后，邻居来拜访我朋友。欣赏了新厨柜后，邻居说：“你不在家的时候，你丈夫弄失了火。我们都深感庆幸只是厨房遭了殃。
3 A Clever dog聪明狗
A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
"How much did you give him?" asked the owner.
"Five dollars.
"Well, that explains it. When you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie."
一位养狗人宣称：要是给了爱犬钱，它便会到卖报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来个演示，并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了，仍不见它带报纸回来。
“你给了它多少钱？”狗的主人问。
“五元。”
“这就是了。你给它五元钱时，它就去看电影。”
4 Were on That Mountain Over There我们在那座山上
My son and I became lost while hiking high in the southern Rockies. I immediately went to work with my map and compass to determine where we had gone off course. My son, an electronics engineer, produced from his pack a hand-held Global Positioning System receiver.
"I know exactly where we are, " he proudly announced, after carefully locking the instrument on four satellites high above the earth and checking his map. "We're on that mountain there!"
落基山脉徒步旅行时，由于爬得太高，我和儿子都迷了路。我立刻拿出地图和罗盘来确定我们是在哪几走错了路。我的儿子是位电子学工程师，他却马上从包里拿出一个全球定位系统接收器。他很小心地把仪器锁定在地球上空的四个卫星上，认真地看了看仪器上的图。然后他自豪地宣布道：“我知道我们的确切位置了。我们就在那边的那个山上！”
5 Im Going to Let My Chauffeur Answer it让我的司机来回答
A famous scientist was on his way to yet another lecture when his chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey, boss, I've heard your speech many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off.
"sounds great," the scientist said.
When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled in the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.
"Yes," said one processor. Then he launched into a highly technical question.
The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment but quickly recovered. " That's an easy one, " he replied, "so easy, I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it. "
一个著名科学家起程去再作一个讲座。他的司机出了个主意：“老板，您的讲座我已听了这么多次了。我打赌我能作这个讲座，让您休息一个晚上。”
“那太好了。”科学家说。
到了礼堂，科学家戴上了司机的帽子，坐在了后排。而司机走上了讲台，作讲演。讲演结束后，他问听众是否有什么问题。
一个教授说有，并提出了一个高深的学术问题。
司机一时被问懵了，但很快就镇定下来。“这很容易，”他说，“太容易了，我要让我的司机来回答。”
6 It Seemed like Hours犹如几个时辰
As a band instructor at an elementary school, I require my students to turn in practice sheets signed by their parents so I can be sure they are putting in enough time. I had to laugh, however, when one parent wrote on her child's sheet, "Practiced 17 minutes, but it seemed like hours.
作为一个小学的乐队指挥，为了确保学生投入足够的时间练习，我要求他们上交由他们父母签字的练习单。可是有一次，一位家长的签字把我逗乐了。练习单上写着：“练习了17分钟，但犹如几个时辰。”
问好雪花！我最近周末也是特忙，很理解你：）
雪花，周中快乐！
哈哈，君子，读笑话的人一定也幸福的人：）
The moral of the story 1: the one who knows to enjoy life is the smartest one
松松就是这样的人。
问好松松！
含嫣好！也祝含嫣中秋节快乐如意，圆圆美美！
点点好！一定又让你想起你的小爱狗了：）
点点，中秋节快乐！
哈哈，小小，中秋节快乐！
南南好！看来你家有条非常不错的狗：）
那冰皮月饼是准备学习的：）
南南，中秋快乐！
松松中秋佳节快乐！
翛然好！中秋快乐！
Thank you Rebecca for your comments.I am glad you like them:)
Happy Mid-Autumn Festival to you and your family,too:)
美丽好！那是具有现代高科技的书呆气哈～
美丽，周末，中秋节快乐！
叔丁好！那只狗很会娱乐哈～
叔丁，周末，中秋节快乐！
尼斯好！
也遥祝尼斯周末，中秋快乐！
花甲老翁好！聪明的狗狗很会消费：）
花甲老翁，周末，中秋快乐！
"I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it. " What a quick comeback. LOL...
"Practiced 17 minutes, but it seemed like hours." What a "torture" for the parent. LOL...
Songsong, I enjoyed each and every one of the jokes. Thank you for all the laughs.
Happy Mid-Autumn Festival to you and your family.
松松周末+中秋快乐!
提前遥祝松松和家人中秋节快乐！
你這裡總能開心微笑的;这就是了。你给它五元钱时，它就去看电影