最新文章
文章分类
归档
2009 (179)
2010 (242)
2011 (208)
2012 (169)
2013 (161)
2014 (114)
2015 (143)
2016 (142)
2017 (91)
2018 (86)
2019 (66)
2021 (47)
2022 (47)
正文
1 应用心理学 Applied psychology
After the student delivered the pizza to old Ken's house，Ken asked，"What is the usual tip?”
"Well，”replied the youth，"this is my first trip here，but the other blokes say if I get 5p out of you，I’II be doing great.”
"Is that sot”snorted Ken. "Well，just to show them how wrong they are，here’s five quid.”
"Thanks,”replied the youth，“I'll put this towards to my studies.”
"What are you studying”asked Ken. The lad smiled and said，"Applied psychology.”
一个学生把比萨饼送到老肯恩家，肯恩问:“你一般要多少小费?” 年轻人答道:“我第一次到这边来，同事们说我要是能得到5便士就很不错了。”
“是吗?”肯恩哼了一声，“他们错了，给你5镑。”
“谢谢，”年轻人答道:“我会把这些用在我的研究上。”
“你学什么的?”肯恩问道。年轻人笑着说:“应用心理学。”
2 有你教他真好Good Thing He Has You
While I was talking to a parent of one of my third-grade students, another teacher walked by. The mother, remarking how beautiful the woman was, said, "If my son had her for a teacher, he wouldn't be able to concentrate. " Then she paused and added, "Good thing he has you. "
在我和一位三年级学生的母亲交谈时，另一位老师从旁边走过。那位母亲评论说那女教师真美，她说：“如果由她教我儿子的话，他一定不能认真听课的。”她停顿了一下，又加了一句：“有你教他真好。”
3 牧羊人与官僚The Shepherd and the Bureaucrat
A bureaucrat was hiking when he came upon a shepherd tending a large flock. The bureaucrat took a fancy to the sheep and asked the shepherd, "If I can guess how many there are, may I have one?" The shepherd thought it unlikely the man would guess the exact number, so he agreed.
The bureaucrat guessed, "You have 287 sheep." The shepherd was astonished, since this was exactly right.
"Can I pick out my sheep now?" asked the bureaucrat. The shepherd grudgingly gave his permission. Selecting one, the bureaucrat slung it over his shoulders to carry home.
The shepherd got an idea." If I guess your occupation'," he said, "may I have my sheep back?" The bureaucrat was surprised, but figured there was little chance of the shepherd guessing correctly, so he went along. "You're a bureaucrat, "announced the shepherd. Amazed, the bureaucrat asked.
"How did you know?"
The shepherd replied, "Put the dog down and we'll talk about it.
一位官僚在徒步旅行，这时他看到一个牧羊人在看护一大群羊。这个官僚特别喜欢羊，就问牧羊人：“如果我能猜出有多少只，我能领走一只羊吗？”牧羊人想他不可能猜中准确的数目，就同意了。
官僚猜道：“你有二百八十七只羊。”牧羊人惊呆了，因为这确是准确的数目。
“我可以挑一只羊了吧？”官僚问道。牧羊人勉强地答应了。官僚挑了一只羊，把它甩在肩上就往家里扛。
牧羊人来了主意。“如果我猜中你的身份，”他说，“我可以收回我的羊吗？”官僚甚感惊奇，但考虑到牧羊人猜中的机会很小，就同意了。“你是个官员，”牧羊人猜道。
官僚一愣，问道：“你怎么知道的？”
牧羊人回答：“先把我的狗放下，然后我们再说话。”
4 青蛙的电话A Call from a Frog
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you . "
The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class.
青蛙拨打通灵热线。电话中说：“你将遇到一位美丽的年轻女子，她要了解你的一切。”
青蛙说：“这太棒了！我会在舞会上遇见她，还是----？”
“不，”通灵者说，“是在下个学期她的生物课上。”
5 你不要知道吗Wouldn't You Know
I accompanied my eight-month-pregnant wife to her monthly checkup . We boarded the hospital's elevator to go to the appropriate floor. The only other passenger was an elderly man who studied intently and then said, "Boy."
Without another word, he got off at his floor. I was about to tell my wife how strange I thought he was acting when suddenly I realized she was wearing a T-shirt sporting the "Guess?" logo.
我陪伴怀孕八个月的妻子去月查。我们上了医院的电梯去某个楼层。唯一的另外乘客是一位上了年纪的男子。他专注地看着我妻子，然后说：“男孩。”
直到他到了自己的楼层，他再没说话。我刚要告诉我妻子那个男子是多么奇怪，这时我突然意识到她穿着一件T恤运动衫，上面写着“猜猜看？”标语。
6 最后的生日The Very Last Birthday
When I was approaching 50, I announced to my three grown children that I no longer wanted to celebrate my birthday and that they could phone me instead of sending a gift. At first they protested, but finally they agreed to go along with my wish. So when the doorbell rang on the morning of my birthday, I was surprised to see the florist delivering a huge, beautiful plant. Suddenly, without a word, she rushed back to the truck and , with a sad look, turned once to glance at me. Puzzled, I read the card attached to the plant: "To Mom-with lots of love-on your very last birthday.
接近五十岁的时候，我对我的三个成年孩子宣布说我不再想庆祝我的生日，并说他们可以给我打电话，不要再送礼物。开始他们反对，但终于他们同意随我愿。所以我生日那天早上门铃响的时候，我惊奇地发现花店营业员送来一束又大又美的鲜花。突然她一声不响地跑回到车上，并回过头来悲哀地看了我一眼。我感到纳闷，我看了一下花上的卡片，上面写着：“献给妈妈----无尽的爱----在您最后的生日里。”
(from Internet)
问好雪花！嗯，羊狗都分不清官员确实让人笑：）
雪花，新周快乐！
真是好久不见紅嘴鴎了，拥抱一个：）
2里的母亲真是不会说话~
紅嘴鴎，周末快乐！
谢谢分享有趣的小故事。故事2里的母亲可是有点缺心眼啊。
问好点点!同意你说的,能学以致用的肯定是好学生;好老师也有漂亮的:)
点点,周末快乐!
haha, smart boy:)
Rebecca, have a nice weekend!
Songsong, thanks for sharing all these funny jokes. Have a nice weekend.