南山松

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周末一笑：新旧大PK（转载）

(2014-06-14 10:17:11) 下一个

1．New and Improved 新旧大PK

The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a story. From time to time, she would take her eyes’ off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. By and by she was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.

小女孩坐在祖父的膝上读故事。她时不时的从书上转移视线抬起头来碰到他褶皱的脸。随后她摸摸自己的脸颊又回去摸摸祖父的。

Finally she spoke, "Granddaddy, did God make you?"

最后她问：“爷爷，是上帝创造的你吗？”

"Yes, sweetheart" he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

“是啊，甜心。”他回答道：“上帝很久前创造出了我。”

"Oh" she said, then "Granddaddy, did God make me too?"

“喔。”她回答。接着又问道：“爷爷，上帝也创造了我吗？”

"Yes, indeed honey" he assured her. "God made you just a little while ago."

“是啊，当然了宝贝。”他向她保证：“上帝只是不久前创造的你。”

"Oh" she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it now isn't he?"

“喔。”她回答。又分别感受了两人的脸颊，边观察边说：“上帝的技术越来越好了，是不？”

2．How did you ever get here你是怎样来的？

One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "lt was so slippery out that for every step l took ahead, I slipped back two."

一个冬天的早晨，一位员工向老板解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”

The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"

老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗，那你是怎么到这里来的？”

"I finally gave up,¨ he said ,"and started for home."

“后来我决定放弃，¨他说，¨然后我就往家里走。”

3．All I do is pay我要做的一切就是付钱

"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "MY wife is the Minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the Minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."

布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家庭简直就像一个国家一样。我妻子是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。”

"Sounds interesting, his colleague replied. And what is your position?”

“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢？”

“I'm the people. All I do is pay."

“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”

4．The bad news and the terrible news坏消息和可怕的消息

Michael sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked.

迈克尔坐在律师的办公室里。“您想先知道坏消息还是可怕的消息？”律师问。

"Give me the bad news first.”

“先告诉我坏消息吧。”

"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."

“您的妻子发现了一张价值50万美元的照片。”

“That's the bad news?”一Asked Michael incredulously.“I can't wait to hear the terrible news.” “The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary．"

“那是坏消息？”迈克尔满腹怀疑．_快告诉我可怕的消息。”“可怕的消息就是照片是关于您和秘书的。”

5．Best reward最好的奖赏

A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand.

一名海军军官从甲板上掉人海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。

The officer asked how he could reward him.

这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。

"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in．"

“长官，最好的办法，”这名水手说，“就是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”

6．A Hasty Interruption 轻率的插话

The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s.

我所工作的精品家具商店是从20世纪二十年代以来就营业的。

Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s.

最近我接到一个妇女的电话。她想换一套餐具中的一些椅子。这套餐具她是在三十年代从我们这儿买的。

I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. "You'll never believe this one,"I told him." I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. "

我向她保证说我们可以帮她的忙，于是我向部门经理寻求帮助。“你永远也不会相信，”我对他说，“我刚接到一个顾客的电话，她在三十年代从我们这里买了一些椅子。”

Before I could finish repeating her request, he interrupted and said, "Don't tell me she hasn't received them yet!"

我还没来得及说她的要求，经理就打断了我的话：“你别告诉我她到现在还没收到货！”

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