你不可以说“你不可以和我们玩”

纪录片“被拒绝被排斥（Reject）“值得关注。rejectfilm.com


You can't say "you can't play with us" (Don't be a bully)

 

rejectfilm.com

shameresponsetorejection

专家谈“社会排斥”：

 

阿蔓达. 哈里斯特 (俄克拉何马大学儿童发展教授）：

如果你在学校里不快乐，如果你没有朋友，如果人们对你不善（虐待你），研究表明，你会逐渐不喜欢上学。学校不是你想待的地方，所以学习就受到影响。

 

（Amanda Harrist, Child Development, Oklahoma State University

"If you’re not happy at school, if you don’t have friends, if people mistreat you, research shows that you come to not like school. It’s not a place you want to be and so, learning is impacted."）

 

基普林.威廉斯 (普渡大学, 社会心理学家)： 有些人谈论起社会排斥和社会孤立时就象在肚肠的部位遭到重拳一击，或者他们感到头痛欲裂，透不过气，身体切实感受到一种割裂之痛，之失落。

（Kipling Williams, Social Psychologist, Purdue University

“Some people talk about rejection and social exclusion as like a punch in the gut or they get a headache or they’re short of breath and they actually feel, physically feel, the loss of a connection."）

娜奥米.爱森伯格（加州大学洛杉矶分校, 社会神经学家）：我认为，即使我们知道遭遇社会排斥的经历非常痛苦，但那种体验多半是难以言说的，是隐蔽的。我真的不认为，当人们遭受排斥时感受的痛苦在大脑上能看得出来。

(Naomi Eisenberger, Social Neuroscientist, UCLA

“I think even though we know that experiences like social rejection can be painful, I kind of thought that the experiential state was more metaphorical. I didn’t really think that the brain would look like it’s in physical pain when people are being left out.”)

 
杭特. 何斯特 (国家少年刑法中心 发起人)： 今天如果你同许多民众谈到校园欺凌事件，他们会说，哦，那不过是人生成长的一部分，那不过是在人性的海洋里学习游泳罢了。那就是生活。你得学会应付。确实如此。但是如果看到的是极端的排斥形式，并且遇到的是非常弱势的人的时候，结果就很可能是灾难。

（Hunter Hurst, Founder, National Center for Juvenile Justice

“If you talk to a lot of the public today about bullying, they will say well, that’s part of growing up. That is learning to swim in the sea of humanity. That’s real. That’s life. You must be able to cope with that. And that too is true but you get extreme forms of rejection and when they meet vulnerable people you have disastrous results. “）

 

微微. 安佩利（教育者，“你不可以说你不可以和我们玩”一书的作者）：

社会排斥的本质是在一个教室里由一个或几个孩子，或者由老师和其他家长，制造出一个弃儿，一个社会组合的局外人。

(Vivian Paley, Educator and Author of You Can’t Say You Can’t Play

"Rejection is being made into an outcast in the classroom—by one child or many children, by a teacher, by other parents. It's being made into an outsider.")
 

马修.利伯门(社会神经学家，加州大学洛杉矶分校):

我认为我们在谈论的是与一个寻找食物，水，和住所的那个生物有着深刻差异的。人， 这个生物，主要搜寻的是社会联系（割断这种联系是一个极大的打击）。

(Matthew Lieberman, Social Neuroscientist, UCLA

“I think that it’s a profoundly different creature we’re talking about when we think of a creature that primarily is searching for food, water and shelter compared to a creature that’s primarily searching for social connection.”)
 

赫伯特. E. 托马斯博士(退休驻狱心理医生，西看守所监狱)：

当一个人由于遭遇排斥而感受痛苦，他会得到极大的聚力，这种力量可以被释放，但痛苦却得不到释放。这种与痛苦相联系的聚力往往释放暴力。

(Dr. Herbert E. Thomas, former resident Psychiatrist, Western Penitentiary Prison

 

“When a person has pain from experiencing rejection, they get a great deal of tension and that can be released, but the pain is not released. The tension related to the pain is often released in violence.”)

詹姆斯. 嘎巴林诺 (作者，洛约拉大学资深教职研究员 ):

在我看来，所有这些孩子（之所以遭受排斥）明显的原因就是因为他们的出身种族背景，社会阶层，以及地理背景（来自哪个地方）。

(James Garbarino, Author and Senior Faculty Fellow, Loyola University

“All of these kids, particularly evident to me looking back on them are these social forms of rejection—exclusion because of ethnicity, and social class, and geographic group that you come from." ) 

比尔和简. 莫哈特（因遭受欺凌而自杀的受害者埃里克莫哈特的父母）：

欺凌有多种形式，从逗弄嘲笑到动武袭击以及这两种之间的一切。但欺凌的目的是隔离某个人，将其推出群组，让另外的人在群组的社会地位上推进。但这就是排斥和孤立，这就是其基础，无论用的何种形式。

 (Bill and Jan Mohat, Parents of Eric Mohat, Victim of Bullycide

“Bullying takes many forms, from teasing to assult and everything in between. But the purpose of it is to isolate somebody and push them out of the group so that somebody else can be advanced in social status. But it is rejection and isolation. That is the foundation of it, no matter how it takes shape. “)