What's the Problem Officer?

Police comments purportedly taken off actual police car videos from around the country:
----"If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

----"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

----"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

----"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

----"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

----"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" ( I like this one :)