已婚男的悲催

 

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. 

保持婚姻美满的两个秘密是：1. 错了，认错。2. 对了，闭嘴。
- Shaquille O Neal (Really, I thought it was mine!怎么不是我说的？)沙奎尔·奥尼尔

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. 

结婚后夫妻俩便像一枚硬币的两面，永远无法面对对方却依旧呆在一起。
- Al Gore阿尔戈尔

 

只招已婚男

In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think us women are weak, dumb, cantankerous...or what?"

美国一小镇有家颇具规模的工厂只招已婚男。当地一女士电话质问工厂经理为何只招已婚男难道女人过于弱小愚蠢脾气坏好争吵又八卦难相处。

"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied.

"It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."

经理说根本不是这回事，原因是他们的工人要绝对服从上级命令，习惯于被呼来唤去指使得团团转，领导当面发怒咆哮时，工人知道要适时闭嘴保持缄默并且情绪不受影响平静如常不会回击领导给领导难堪。

 

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. 

我跟老婆说几句话而已，她却跟我长篇大论个没完。
- Bill Clinton比尔克林顿

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. 

婚姻是唯一独特的战争，在这里一个人与敌人同床共枕。
- Tommy Lee汤米李

First there's the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffer...ing! 

先是定情戒，接着是订婚戒，然后是结婚戒，不久之后随之而来的就是惩。。。戒
- Jay Leno杰雷诺

 

 

 

 Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

来源网络