"It is an honor to be here with Al Smith," said Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., speaking at the 63rd annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner to benefit Catholic charities. "I obviously never knew your great-grandfather, but from everything that Sen. McCain has told me, the two of them had a great time together before prohibition. So, wonderful stories."
So began Obama's comedy monologue, which included a few good yuks, as did McCain's.
McCain, the schtickier (and arguably, funnier) of the two candidates, spoke first at the dinner packed with V.I.P.s that is traditionally the last side-by-side appearance of the two presidential candidates, as well as an opportunity for them to poke fun at each other and themselves.
The roast, which raised $3.9 million to help underprivileged children, is dedicated to the memory of former Democratic New York Gov. Al Smith, the first Catholic to win the presidential nomination of a major political party, who lost to Republican Herbert Hoover in 1928, 444 electoral votes to 87.
"I can't shake that feeling that some people here are pulling for me," McCain said, turning to the far side of the stage. "I'm delighted to see you here tonight, Hillary."
Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., and all others in the crowd, guffawed.
McCain added that Clinton’s husband, former President Bill Clinton, "has been hammering away with me with epithets like ‘hero.’”
McCain said that his rival was not fazed by being called "That one," during the second presidential debate. "He doesn't mind at all,” McCain said. “In fact, he even has a pet name for me: George Bush.”
In a sign of just how much the media-McCain relationship has turned, the Arizonan stated that “the press is really an independent-minded, civic-minded, non-partisan group, like ACORN."
"It's going to be a long, long night at MSNBC if I manage to pull this thing off,” McCain said. “I understand that Keith Olbermann has ordered up his very own ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner. They can hang it up in his padded room."
McCain introduced Obama, who, at one point joked that he was confused.
"I was originally told the venue would be Yankee Stadium,” he said. “Can somebody tell me what happened to the Greek columns that I requested?"
Obama said the venue was fine, though.
"I do love the Waldorf Astoria," Obama said. “I hear from the doorstep you can see all the way to the Russian Tea Room." It prompted much laughter from McCain.
Then Obama turned to the question McCain had been asking as of late: Who is the real Barack Obama?
“Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger,” Obama said. “I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jor-El to save the planet Earth.”
Regarding his name, Obama said that “Barack is actually Swahili for ‘that one.’ And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I’d ever run for president.”
Said the Democrat, “If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it's possible that I’m a little too awesome.”
Obama took on another McCain criticism: the attack, earlier this election season, that he’s nothing more than a celebrity.
“I have to admit that that really hurt,” Obama said. “I got so angry about it I punched the paparazzi in the face on my way out of Spago's. I’m serious. I even spilled my soy chai latte all over my shih tzu. It was really embarrassing.”
“One other thing,” Obama added, “I have never, not once, put lipstick on a pig or a pit bull or myself. Rudy Giuliani, that's one for you. I mean -- who would have thought that a cross-dressing mayor from New York City would have a tough time winning the Republican nomination? It’s shocking. That was a tough primary you had there, John.”
He added that “some of the rumors out there are getting a bit crazy. I mean, Rupert the other day, Fox News actually accused me of fathering two African-American children in wedlock.”
He added that “at one of these campaign rallies, someone in the crowd started yelling, ‘No-bama,’ announcing to everyone in the room that I shouldn't be the Democratic nominee because there were far more qualified candidates. I really wish Joe Biden hadn't done that.”
McCain, Obama Compete for Laughs at Traditional Political 'Roast' By Walter Wisniewski New York 17 October 2008
U.S. presidential candidates John McCain and Barack Obama took a lighthearted break from campaigning Thursday at a charity dinner in New York City. The Republican and Democratic party candidates poked fun at each other and at themselves before an audience including many of the nation's leading political figures. VOA's Walter Wisniewski has this report.
Senators McCain and Obama were on stage together for a second night in a row, following their third and final debate of the election campaign on Wednesday. But at the annual Al Smith memorial dinner, a political tradition in New York, the candidates were competing to see who could trigger the biggest laughs.
McCain struck first.
"A major announcement. Events are moving fast in my campaign, and yes, it's true that this morning I've dismissed my entire team of senior advisers," he joked. "All of their positions will now be held by a man named 'Joe the Plumber.'"
"Joe the Plumber" is a businessman from Ohio who challenged Obama at one of his campaign appearances, and who was invoked repeatedly by both senators in their debate this week.
Obama, in turn, announced that his vice presidential running mate, Senator Joseph Biden, now prefers to be known simply as "Joe the Senator."
The Al Smith dinner honors a Democrat who ran unsuccessfully for president 80 years ago and raises money for Catholic charities. The traditional gathering attracts politicians from all parties, and only humorous speeches are allowed.
In an earlier debate this month McCain referred to Obama, standing near him onstage, not by name but as "that one" - a remark that some criticized as demeaning or even insulting. The Arizona senator joked on Thursday that he came up with the phrase after hearing that some of Obama's most ardent supporters referred to him reverently as "the one."
"Being a friend and colleague of Barack, I just called him 'that one.' [laughter] My friends, he doesn't mind at all," McCain said. "In fact, he even has a pet name for me: George Bush."
McCain also won laughs by slyly suggesting that former President Bill Clinton's support for Obama has been less than wholehearted, because the Illinois senator won his party's nomination only after crushing the presidential hopes of Mr. Clinton's wife, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Speaking after McCain, Obama surveyed the audience and said: "There is no other crowd in America that I'd rather be palling around with right now."
A wry reference to allegations by McCain's running mate, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, that Obama had been "palling around with" people once considered American terrorists.
"It is a tribute to American democracy that with two weeks left in a hardfought election, the two of us could come together and sit down together at the same dinner table ... without preconditions," Obama kept his humor deadpan. "Now recently one of John's advisers told the Daily News [newspaper] that if we keep talking about the economy, McCain's going to lose. So tonight I'd like to talk about the economy."
The candidates laughed heartily at each other's jokes, but they also spoke warmly about their mutual respect and admiration.
McCain said Obama "is an impressive fellow in many ways."
"Political opponents can have a little trouble in seeing the best in each other, but I've had a few glimpses of this man at his best, and I admire his great skill, energy and determination," McCain said.
McCain said Senator Obama's campaign has made history.
"There was a time when a mere invitation of an African-American citizen to dine at the White House was taken as an outrage and an insult in many quarters," he noted. "Today is a world away from the crude and prideful bigotry of that time, and good riddance. I can't wish my opponent luck, but I do wish him well."
Obama reflected on the tough battles that have marked this presidential campaign.
"But I've said before and I think it bears repeating, that there are very few of us who have served this country with the same dedication and honor and distinction as Senator McCain," Obama said. "No matter what divisions or differences or arguments we're having right now, we ultimately belong to something bigger and more lasting than a political party. We belong to a community. We share a country. We are all children of God."