unemployment rate for hot young women(ZT)

Washington,D.C. – Economic analysts were abuzz Monday following the release ofFebruary's Labor Department figures, which showed the unemployment ratefor hot young women in the U.S. holding steady at zero percent for the302nd month in a row.

"What these figures say is that if you'relooking for work in America right now, you'll have no problem findingit - as long as you're a totally smokin' hot young chick, that is,"senior U.S. economist Cary Leahey said in a television interviewSunday. "From small businesses to major corporations, companies acrossthe board are hiring cute young hotties for positions every bit asquickly as they always have."

Independent economic analyst EliPatterson said the report indicates that although the national joblessrate for run-of-the-mill, average-looking workers actually rose from5.7 percent in January to 5.9 percent in February, not a singleattractive female under the age of 30 is currently unable to find work.

"Sure,today's job market is kind of a nightmare for those unskilled laborersthat are maybe a few pounds overweight or not especially striking or,well, male," said Patterson, speaking from his New York office. "Butthe Labor Department's February figures say conditions remain optimalfor gorgeous, barely legal girls to find someone willing to hire them -especially if they wear their hair down and dress in semi-revealingclothes for their interviews. It's little things like that that cancatch a human resource manager's eye and go a long way toward gettingthem the job."

Patterson claimed that thin, young, ultra-sexywomen have a distinct advantage in today's job market: "Employers ingeneral seem more willing to take a chance on total drop-deadknockouts."

In fact, analysis of Labor Department figures showsthat the rate of unemployment among the country's young stunners hasnot risen above the zero percent mark since January of 1978.

"Ifyou look at the statistics, it's clear that sexy babes are historicallythe most employable members of the nation's labor pool," said Pattersonas his secretary - an unbelievably hot piece of ass that couldn't be aday over 21 - refilled his coffee mug. "And all indications are thatthis trend will likely continue for the foreseeable future."

Arecent poll conducted by USA Today reported that employers - even whenpresented with a field of more qualified applicants - predominantlyhire the youngest, best-looking female for the job, regardless of thatsexy little number's lack of education, work experience, intelligence,personality, literacy or competency.

"Hey, if the skirt can evenmanage to operate a pencil, we'll find something around here for her todo," said Arthur Ceritteno, who owns a mid-sized furniture retailer inthe southern U.S. "I always say we're an equal opportunity employer:we'll hire blonds, brunettes, Latinos, Russian girls, whatever. Hell,if the broad - excuse me, applicant - has the assets we need aroundhere, I'll fire somebody to make room for her if I have to. Theneverybody's happy."

President Bush, refuting claims that thecountry's modest economic recovery is failing to translate into newjobs, cited the February report as confirmation that the nation'sunemployment situation is improving.

"I can't understand howanybody can say they can't find a job in this market, given all of theimprovement we've seen," Bush said. "I guarantee you that I could sendmy daughters out right now today into this job market and they'd haveabsolutely no trouble landing a job. Well, Jenna, at least. Barbarastill has some developing to do."