一月寿星生日大餐

一月底在孙寿星家为一月寿星集体祝寿，生日大餐超级丰盛，鸡鸭鱼虾猪牛肉一网打尽。孙寿星戏言道，今日大餐乃近期最后的辉煌，下周夫人公司开始裁员。孙夫人顶裁员之风，依然作爬梯之案，孙寿星冒太太被裁之险，依旧谈笑风生，如此良好心态，惹众人直呼寿星万岁，夫人万万岁！

欢呼过后回到餐桌上来尽享美味


美味葱姜龙虾
 
火辣水煮鱼
 
酒香醉鸡腿
 
正宗盐水鸭
 
红烧狮子头
 
夫妻辣肺片
 
海鲜大拼盘
 
红烧鲜彻鱼
 
剁椒豆腐鱼
 
酱色油烤鸭
 
陈皮辣牛肉
 
茄汁烤排骨
 
韭黄炒豆芽
 
油焖辣芦笋 
 
丝瓜油面筋
 
蒜香豌豆苗
 
椒豆鲜鲍鱼
 
豆皮酱素鸭
 
夫人长寿面 
 
友情长寿面（朋友人未露面，祝寿面倒是送来了）
 
烤麸素什锦
 
油炸萝卜球
 
酸甜脆萝卜
 
茄汁芒果条
 
芹菜豆干丝
 
燕皮蛋饺汤
 
香脆炸春卷
 
雪花奶油饼
 
甜脆山核桃
 
甜蜜菠萝汁
 
糖果香瓜子
 
Berry Cheesecake
 
醇浓家乡酒
 
庆丰祥普洱
 
华尔街劲牛端上餐桌

都等着你发飙呢


祝寿星们生日快乐！
 

[素不相识]

回复紧跟着学的评论:This is hilarious! I almost laughed my head off. Thank you so much for sharing.

[紧跟着学]

just like your website and make me laugh, I feel that you a funny person. Here is funny one to make you laugh.

**_VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES_**

*****NEW EMPLOYMENT LAWS*****

**New Policy: Effective from March 2009**

//_Dress Code_//

**It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.***

**If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.**

**If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and** **therefore you do not need a raise.**

*//_Sick Days_//

**We will no longer accept a doctors statement as proof of sickness.*** **If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.**

*//_Annual Leave Days_//

**Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.***

*//_Bereavement Leave_//

**This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.***

**In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.**

*//_Toilet Use_//

**Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken.***

**After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the Chronic offenders category. **

**Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.**

*//_Lunch Break_//

**Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.***

**Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.**

**Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.**

**Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.**

**Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation and input should be directed
elsewhere***