I was wondering if you had enough sleep today, yesterday was a real tough day. I felt so terrible yesterday when I showed up and he was there. Even beyond that, I could tell that yesterday wasn't easy for you anyway. I am very sorry that I've added that element to your life.
I never meant to complicate things with you. For that matter, I never wanted to make you feel like you had to make any decisions regarding your family/personal life. Please don't make any hasty decisions,okay?
You are so special to me, but I can see that I am not helping things.I truly wish my life were different right now, so that I could show you the love and affection I have for you. You have done so much for me, been so kind...and I love the way you take care of me. I wish we could take care of each other from every day forward...
I have a strong feeling that someday you and I won't have to worry about expressing ourselves. That will take time, but I do have faith that the day will come. Spending time with you has been a guilty pleasure for me, for sure. I have felt so happy being around you...
I feel like everything that is happening has been brought on by my affection for you. I am sorry for my selfishness in this, I truly am. Last night you looked as if you could not breathe, like you were suffocating. My heart weighed so heavily in my chest that I could not do anything about that, and while I know you are a strong lady, I felt compelled to do something.
Remember when I told you that destination wasn't an important factor in my journey? I want to be in Baja right now, chase my summer around,run from winter and live irresponsibly...but my journey has been ongoing for awhile now, and continues regardless of my location. My dream is important to me, and so are you...every bit as important. You are my dream.
I will travel this year. I think I will swallow my pride and see my family first and maybe plan a little better! ;) I will have my trip though, even if lately it seems that has fallen by the wayside. I guess I have been fortunate to have the flexibility to give in to my guilty pleasure...
I do not want to lose you, and this has been my fear lately. I don't believe that we have been a convenient distraction for each other...this is truly the beginning, and we have a lifetime to share with each other when the time is right. I pray that the distance between us will exist only in space, not in our hearts.
Anyway...I hope to hear from you, or see you, today. I think I'll give you a call when you get in to work...
Thinking of you, constantly...
