In Chinese culture, what you plan to do is kind of like a hermit living among crowds, or a monk without a religion. A hermit is invisible to the world, and doesn't need fame or material needs beyond basic survival reqest. Life is simple yet serves certain great purpose. A monk needs to shed all the responsiblities and cut off all the contacts with the world, and restrains himself from the basic human emotions and needs -- happiness, anger, sadness, pleasure from food, sex, etc.. But those are for religous reason.
I guess I am probably a symbol for the world that you are trying to hold onto... for now. ;)
From what I know, you belong to this world, and you are happy to live among people, and be part of them. You are too caring to be an observer and an outsider. But I might be wrong.
I used to be very confused and didn't know what I was going to do with my life. The struggle with fate threw me to this strange land. Even though I still don't know what I am going to do with my life, I became comfortable with myself after a while. I am content for being common and leading a life just like anybody else. I know this might not sound good, not to mention inspiring to a youngster, but I made peace with myself.
However, I think the dreams I had when I was young are still inside me. That is why I got so excited when I learned your plan.
I also want you to know that the love between you and me is the kind of love that I was looking for when I was young. I didn't find it then but I found it now. It isn't just in my dream or imagination any more becasue I am experiencing it now. That is why I often feel it is unreal because I cannot believe it is happening many many years after I stopped looking for it. I thought it didn't exist. Thank you.
