岁月，泪水，欢颜
谁在黄金海岸，谁在风烟彼岸。我是飘泊的缪斯，为了你走过万水千山。
正文
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4th November
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas
Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at
noon in the private function room at the Grill
House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of
drinks! We'll have a small band playing
traditional carols...please feel free to sing
along.
And don't be surprised if the Managing Director
shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree
will be lit at 1.00 p.m.
Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at
that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00
to make the giving of gifts easy on everyone's
pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! The Managing
Director will make a special announcement at the
Party.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Pauline
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4th November
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas
Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at
noon in the private function room at the Grill
House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of
drinks! We'll have a small band playing
traditional carols...please feel free to sing
along.
And don't be surprised if the Managing Director
shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree
will be lit at 1.00 p.m.
Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at
that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00
to make the giving of gifts easy on everyone's
pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! The Managing
Director will make a special announcement at the
Party.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Pauline
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th November
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude
our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah
is an important holiday, which often coincides with
Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday
Party.' The same policy applies to any other
employees who are not Christians. There will be no
Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will
have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family, Pauline.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th November
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of
Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking
table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to
accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a
table that reads, 'AA Only,' you wouldn't be
anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle
this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange
allowed now since the Union rep feels that $10.00
is too much money and Management believe $10.00 is
a little cheap.
NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Pauline.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th November
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that
December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of
Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during
daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously,
we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of
year does not accommodate our Muslim employee's
beliefs; perhaps the Grill House can hold off on
serving your meal until the end of the party - or
else package everything up for you to take home in
a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight
Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet
and pregnant women will get the table closest to
the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each
other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men,
each will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay
men's table, too.
To the person asking permission to cross dress - no
cross dressing allowed. And No, no blow-up sheep.
We will have booster seats for short people. Low
fat food will be available for those on a diet. We
cannot control the salt used in the food. We
suggest those people with high blood pressure taste
the food first. There will be fresh fruits as
dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply
'No Sugar' desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!
Pauline.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 8 November
RE: The F******** Holiday Party.
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!!
We're going to keep this party at the Grill House
whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly
at the table furthest from the 'grill of death', as
you so quaintly put it. You'll get your f******
salad bar, including organic tomatoes, but you know
tomatoes have feeling, too. They scream when you
slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing
them scream right NOW!!
Hope you all have a rotten holiday * drink, drive,
and die!
The Bitch from
HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 9th November
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline
Lewis a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to
forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, Management has decided to cancel
our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the
afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
lmao