昨天晚上我贴了
给大家提个醒:一切账单都得好好看。提防 OAN Services 这类公司, 结果短路这家伙悄悄地演变成了ONS,我钻进去了还不知道。今天早上才发现老头我上了年轻人当了!叉!
言归正传。我的电话账单无缘无故多了12.95的charge, 今天早上没好气,上班第一件事就是拨打OAN Services 的电话,准备掐架。
下面是电话的主要内容,有好废话略掉了。接电话的是个女的,听起来不像美国native:
她: Customer Service. How can I help you?
我: Hi. I have an item in my phone bill from your company for services that I don’t know anything about.
她: OK, let me take a look.... Are you referring to the charge by USA VOICEMAIL?
我: Yes, that's the one.
她: Sir, I can transfer you to USA VOICEMAIL.
这家伙准备玩踢足球。在给她打电话之前,我已经给USA VOICEMAIL打过电话,他们还没上班。
我: No, YOU ARE NOT TRANSFERRING ME. You need to help me take care of this business.
她: Sir, OAN is a billing company. We bill you on behalf of USA VOICEMAIL. Since they are the service provider, they charge you, and we only do the billing.
我: So you are billing me, right?
她: Yes, we are not charging you, we are only billing you on their behalf. Therefore I cannot do anything other than transferring you to them.
我: NO, you are not transferring me. You caused or helped cause this to happen, and you have work to do.
她: But we cannot do anything because it's the USA VOICEMAIL that charged you, not us.
我: Oh yes, you can do everything for me to stop this craziness. You are billing me, right?
她: Right, but we are not charging me.
这女人跟我玩云手,俺没耐心,就直截了当好了
我: I understand your spin: you are billing me, but not charging me, therefore you can't do anything for me.
她: That's exactly right.
我: No, that's not exactly right. Let me help you understand our relationships.
她: What do you mean?
我: I have never dealt with USA VOICEMAIL who's charging me, right?
她: Uhhhhh, how do you mean?
我: Is it my English or is it what I am saying that you don't understand?
她: It's what you are saying.
我: Thank you for being kind on my English. Now listen carefully to what I am going to say. You and I are in a direct relationship, meaning I look at my bill, and I see your name. Is that the fact?
她: Yes, it's the fact, but ...
我: Please don't but me. Just let me finish.
她: OK, I am sorry
我: So you and I are directly related, of course in business terms, and now there's something wrong in this relationship. Shouldn't I work it out with you?
她: Uhhhh, but…
我: Now, now, remember, don't but me until I am done.
她: OK.
我: So there's something wrong in our relationship, and the party that causes this relationship to happen in the first place is you! I didn't know you, and I didn't check you out, but you secretly got into a relationship with me, right?
她: We are just a billing company...
我: I know you are a billing company, and I know you want to say you didn't charge me, but you helped a scam company charge me by billing me. Have I authorized your service?
她: Uhhh, not really.
我: Now we are talking. So I didn't authorize you, and you sneaked into the AT&T system and started a relationship with me, and I want this relationship stopped.
她: But, sir, I'll need to transfer you.
我: NO, you are NOT transferring me. You and I are going to clear up this mess in our relationship. Am I understood?
她: But...
我: No more but's, lady. I am the victim of a scam, so someone did something illegal to me. I am going to call the Better Business Bureau if you and I don't work out. You know what I am saying?
她: OK, sir, let me check. Could you hold on a second while I enter the information into the system?
我: Can I ask what information you are entering?
她: That you refused to be transferred
我: I don't see the point of being transferred. I need you to clean up the mess.
她: I understand. I am documenting that you want the service cancelled
我: AND the 12.95 dollars you guys charged me last month returned to me.
她: I am entering that into the system.
我: Very good. I appreciate that.
她: Anything else that I can do for you?
我: Do you have a case number for this issue?
她: No, but my name is Christian, and my operator ID is 80767.