我跟意大利富婆的升级争吵
(2010-05-18 07:27:18)
下一个
意大利富婆一直对我低调行事有反感。她总是零散地抱怨我在party上非常活跃,可是在小组学习发言的时候不那么积极。
昨天在小组总结上,她直言不讳地说我缺少leadership. 我就笑了。我让她举例子,都是些鸡毛蒜皮的小事儿:领导大家做作业的时候不够push什么的。
话说这个富婆,她其实当了20年的主妇。因为嫁给了一个政客生了两个孩子而充满的优越感。她几乎是说起来哪个名流都认识。说起城里好吃的馆子她都去过。只可惜,3 年前她离婚了。两个未成年的孩子坚决跟着爸爸过。她非常的bitter.她开始接管她爹妈的建筑公司。 她总是让我联想到一种女人:希望天底下的男人都爱她,希望天底下的女人都屈服于她。 而我那什么都不吝的样子,本身就会让她生气。我们就不是一路人。
我问她,我为什么要push. 她说只有那样才能拿好成绩。我说,我并不需要好成绩。她说,你也许找工作不需要,但是这是你的个人能力的demonstration.我问“我证明给谁看呢?”她很聪明地说“任何人,包括自己”。 我说,我清楚自己的能力,别人将永远从不同的角度看我,我是不太在意这个的。
她说“可无论如何,你需要领导能力呀”。 我说,领导能力是多种多样的。请你不要把dictatorship 和领导能力当成一件事。 我管理的不是体力劳动者。我的身边全是受过很好的教育,对工作充满了热情的人。 他们有独立思考能力,有创造力。 我不可以轻易地就去push他们。因为当压力来得太直接的时候,他们会乱了脚步。 他们的performance会受到影响。所以,我工作的大部分时间是想着怎么让他们干他们喜欢和擅长的东西。也要理解他们为什么偶尔偷懒,偶尔家里有事,偶尔不喜欢上班。。。
我越说越激动,最后说,还有一点,我从来不在会议上指责别人的缺点。这是每个关于management的教科书上都关照过的。
她开始为自己争面子,引经据典地说谁谁,也就是哪个名人对她说,领导才能是什么什么。她在说话的时候不停地引用细节,像是开玩笑似地,脸看着另外两个男生。什么在那个游船上的晚宴,遇到了谁谁,那个人怎么关照她。 不停地说,不停地说, 我就静静地听着她。也没听到什么point.
她到要走的时候,对我说,你住的地方有个很好的grocery store(估计就是卖几百块钱一瓶醋的地方),可以去试一试。 我说,I\'ve passed by a thousand times but never had the guts to go in. I am a cheap person, I prefer Chinatown.
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut and we’ll talk about it." After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father’s study where his father said, "Son, I’ve been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your Bible diligently, but you didn’t get your hair cut!"
The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair...." To which his father replied, "Yes, and they walked every where they went!"