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[短评]从韩裔赵承熙杀人看亚洲移民对子女教育的误导 (图)

(2007-04-18 19:44:30) 下一个

 


2007年4月16日,23岁的韩裔VIRGINIA TECH本科生赵承熙持枪滥杀32条性命并以此结束自己年轻的生命。

此案为美国有史以来最大的校园凶杀案。

2007年4月18日,NBC收到赵承熙在两次枪击案间隔期间到邮局寄的邮件,让我们彻底明白了他杀人的动机和扭曲的灵魂。

以下是他的原话:


"You had a hundred billion chances and ways to have avoided today,but you decided to spill my blood. You forced me into a corner and gave me only one option. The decision was yours. Now you have blood on your hands that will never wash off."

"You have vandalized my heart, raped my soul and torched my conscience,you thought it was one pathetic boy's life you were extinguishing. Thanks to you, I die like Jesus Christ, to inspire generations of the weak and the defenseless people."

"Your Mercedes wasn't enough, you brats, Your golden necklaces weren't enough, you snobs. Your trust funds wasn't enough. Your vodka and cognac wasn't enough. All your debaucheries weren't enough. Those weren't enough to fulfill your hedonistic needs. You had everything."

这里的“你”指的是谁?是一个具体的人,还是一个泛指的群体? 

有消息说他是情杀,其实不全是。从他的宣言中,我看到了一个扭曲了的灵魂,一个对美国主流社会的愤恨和对富人发自内心的敌视和歇斯底里的狂怒。

为什么会是这个样子?这些仇恨是从何而来?亚裔该怎样教育我们的下一代?

几乎所有的亚洲人,尤其是咱们中国人,和与我们在文化习俗上很接近的韩国人和日本人,从骨子里有很深的等级观念。这种等级观念表现出来就是对金钱,地位和权力的崇拜, 对贫穷的厌恶。

无可厚非,在有钱与没钱之间,在物质和贫瘠之间,普通人都会做出很明智的选择。

但这种对金钱,地位和权力的向往在没有道德观和社会公德意识加以引导的时候,在自己拼命挣扎还达不到社会认可的时候,就会引发对那些被社会接纳的所谓”成功“人士的嫉妒和不满。 在没有自我心理调节能力和社会帮助,特别是主流宗教的指引下,这种嫉妒和不满就会发展成仇恨和暴力。

每个来自贫穷国家的人在美国这片自由的土地上都有很大的压力。同贪官污吏横行的祖国不同,在美国,很多富人都是靠自己勤劳的双手发家致富。如何赚钱,买房子,开新车,做生意,便成了第一代移民每天思考的主题。勤劳的亚洲人民从来就是以吃苦耐劳为美德。正所谓 “吃得苦中苦,方得甜中甜,做得人上人。”

在这种人生观驱使下,很多第一代移民们每天疲于奔命为钱财奔波。他们没有时间,也没有耐心教育下一代,特别是在灵魂上的培养和精神上的关心。对于父母来说,只要孩子分数好不吸毒能上好大学,就算教育成功。对于孩子们来说,他们的父母只关心他们自己的事业和对钱财感兴趣,除了分数外,自己同父母没有什么好谈的。

那是谁在培养教育他们?是你吗?是学校?

不错,他们的生父母是你们,孩子每天去学校, 但他们的精神父母是充满色情和凶杀的美国电视,电影,游戏,网络,RAP和ROCK音乐。

你们的孩子生活在一个靠暴力解决所有麻烦的虚拟世界里。在这个世界里,GAME OVER意味着随时可以再来一次,任何时候都可以死而复生,对谁不满可以一枪把对方干掉而不负任何责任也不会有任何对自己不利后果。

一边是生活在物质世界拼命赚钱的父母,对于他们来说,钱可以解决一切烦恼;一边是生活在虚拟世界在分数上应付父母的孩子,对于他们来说,暴力可以解决一切。

两代人生活在什么样的世界啊,醒醒吧。

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评论
不过是个人 回复 悄悄话 如果这也叫好文,请大家回去上小学重新学语文吧.我只是实话实说.不是攻击,您非拍我,我也只有受着.
不过是个人 回复 悄悄话 您真得把自己当美国社会中的一分子了么?这只是个问题,要看官自己去回答,如果您够犀利的话.
不过是个人 回复 悄悄话 很显然,凶手是老美的校园枪击案占大多数吧.这不是亚裔的问题,这是美国社会的问题.
晗妍 回复 悄悄话 任何种族都有好有坏,但是这样的事情真的是发人深醒!
noso 回复 悄悄话 面对美国校园枪击案 中国网民终于没再叫好 中青报

《中国青年报》19日发表时评文章,一位名叫“李方”的作者为美国校园惨案发生后,中国网民的跟帖里没有出现曾经有过的“铺天盖地的叫好声”而深感庆幸。

以下是文章全文:
  
我在一家门户网站做事。昨天早晨上网看见美国弗吉尼亚理工大学发生枪击案的消息,特别是当时怀疑凶手是中国留学生,不夸张地说,我几乎是颤抖着用滑鼠点开了该条新闻的跟帖评论页面。我害怕看见跟帖里铺天盖地的叫好声,而这在六年前(注:当指911事件发生时)我们是见识过的。我会感到丢脸,觉得这些人无可理喻。

  翻看了几页跟帖后,我踏实了。绝大多数帖子都是哀悼内容,当然也有少数几条叫好的,但马上会招来严厉的指责:不懂事,没人性。

  我以前也是做评论工作的,大家都知道评论要讲理性。那么什么叫评论的理性呢?说白了两句话:冤有头债有主,不迁怒不贰过。昨天误传是中国留学生杀了人,那么当时,美国人会不会因此而迁怒所有中国人?我们当然不希望发生这种情形,否则会认为美国人不讲道理。同理,大家也都知道新保守主义的美国在世界上形象不佳,包括我在内的很多中国人,特别是年轻人巴不得美国政府多遭受点挫折,可明摆着这股火儿不能朝普通美国人身上撒啊,不是么。这是太简单的道理,简直不值得一讲,然而现实却往往叫人大跌眼镜,好像太平洋对岸的人就不是人,而只是绑在美国政府裤带上的一串蚂蚁,碾死就碾死,活该陪葬。古人不是讲己所不欲勿施于人么,如果我们希望美国人也这样对待我们,那么我们就闭着眼一路叫好吧。

  值得庆幸的是,这回终于没有让六年前的“民意”重演。当年的小愤青们长大了半轮儿,后起之愤大概也被薰陶得差不多可以区分:政府的归政府,人性的归人性。我以为这种区分,乃是不同民族之间寻求理解、国际间寻求合作的一个认识基石。没有这种认识,那便是打了一战再打二战,因为一战后协约国直接把德国人当作了惩罚目标,沉重的割地赔款的屈辱,才使得30年代的德国人被希特勒一点就着。那么为什么打了二战没能再打三战?战胜国终于认识到,德国人民也是牺牲者,他们也需要抚慰。

  当然这话就扯得有点远了,其实我也只是讲,你可以不喜欢美国政府的某些做法,但是你不可以把美国人跟美国政府画等号。从人性上,美国人跟我们的邻居又有多大两样?我们是否乐见邻居被枪杀32人?

  我们都说要和解不要对抗。并且,很多人可能会肤浅地理解,和解或者对抗都只是政府对政府的事情。可是想想吧,如果彼此的人民间存在深刻的误解和敌意,双方政府哪怕签订再多的友好条约,管多大用?或者反过来想,哪怕政府之间误会再深,只要双方人民中间存在深深的善意,政府的对抗又能坚持多久?这也是有例为证的吧,上世纪中美双方势同水火二三十年,而一朝冰融,两国感情迅即升温,也没别的原因,无非历史上双方人民内心彼此一直存着深刻好感。再往前推,若无这份好感,抗战期间美国人大概也不会派飞虎队过来。

  政府的归政府,人性的归人性。我想这应该是我们认识事物特别是国际事务的一个基本出发点。政府是有国界的,而人性是无国界的,因此发生在佛吉尼亚的枪杀事件才引起全世界包括我们自己那么多的哀悼和思考。本质上它仅仅是一个人性的问题,不管它发生在离我们100米的地方,还是发生在1万公里以外,不管那里飘扬的是五星红旗还是星条旗——在生命和人性的层面,有些东西是不能够追究什么外在属性的,而这正是我们被称为人的原因。
noso 回复 悄悄话
弗大血案:凶手赵承熙的邮包解开了三个谜团 朝鲜日报

朝鲜日报特派记者崔宇皙/记者崔圭民/弗吉尼亚理工大学枪击案凶手赵承熙寄给美国全国广播公司(NBC)的邮包解开了三个谜团。

首先,通过邮包内容,他第一次作案到第二次作案之间的2个小时内的行踪有了答案。他在这两个小时里,准备好邮包并前往市内的邮局寄了出去。

第二,揭露了他的犯罪动机并非是单纯的痴情,而是对世界的憎恶和仇视,证实他是经过长期周密的准备有计划地实施犯罪。他的大部分照片都模仿电影《出租车司机》的主人公罗伯特-德尼罗和电影《黑客帝国》的主人公基努-里维斯的造型,从这一点看,赵承熙很有可能有着很强的模仿心理或小英雄主义。

第三,赵承熙与一般的杀人狂不同,在作案时几乎没有留下任何信息,其中的原因也得到了解答。他为了在事后将自己的信息以最戏剧性的方式公诸于众而做好了周密的准备。

赵承熙故意划掉手枪上的编码,在作案时没有携带身份证,作案后向自己的脸部开枪自杀,这一系列举动估计都是为了让警方难以确认他的身份,以达到最大的震惊效果。另外,将邮包发送人的姓名写为“Ishmael(以赛玛利)”,又在自己的手臂上写上“Ismail Ax”,这是为了在事后证明自己是邮包发送者。“Ishmael(以赛玛利)”是基督教式叫法,“以实马利”是伊斯兰式叫法,但所指的都是同一人。至于赵承熙出于什么意图使用该词,目前众说纷纭。
aol 回复 悄悄话 文章太片面,家庭教育只是一个方面。
1 美国并不是一个完全公平正义的社会,人的机会不完全相同,少数民族会受到歧视。那个南朝鲜人肯定在学校受到很大的歧视和白人同学的欺负。

2 美国流行文化如歌曲、电影和电子游戏有太多的色情和暴力,这是他们的资本社会企业追求利润忽视社会效益的结果,加上国家监管没有力度,这是国家的责任,靠家长的力量是办不到的。
无妻徒刑 回复 悄悄话 布什万岁万岁万万岁
noso 回复 悄悄话 感谢大家来访

让我们记住死在凶手枪下的32个无辜遇难者,让我们从中吸取教训,引以为戒。不要为凶手找借口,不要宣扬暴力。

我写此文是为了提醒大家不要只顾自己事业的发展和钱财的积累,要注意下一代的心理健康,多与他们进行心灵的沟通,让他们长成一个有责任感有公德心的正派青年。

在这个有限版面上,有近13万的击点,我想我的信息得到了传播。有愿转贴的朋友,您可以转,请注明作者和出处,给我一个链接。

晚安。
noso 回复 悄悄话 Va. Tech shooter a 'textbook killer'

By MATT APUZZO and SHARON COHEN, Associated Press Writers 27 minutes ago

BLACKSBURG, Va. - In high school, Cho Seung-Hui almost never opened his mouth. When he finally did, his classmates laughed, pointed at him and said: "Go back to China."

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As such details of the Virginia Tech shooter's life come out, and experts pore over his sick and twisted writings and his videotaped rant, it is becoming increasingly clear that Cho was almost a textbook case of a school shooter: a painfully awkward, picked-on young man who lashed out with methodical fury at a world he believed was out to get him.

"In virtually every regard, Cho is prototypical of mass killers that I've studied in the past 25 years," said Northeastern University criminal justice professor James Alan Fox, co-author of 16 books on crime. "That doesn't mean, however, that one could have predicted his rampage."

When criminologists and psychologists look at mass murders, Cho fits the themes they see repeatedly: a friendless figure, someone who has been bullied, someone who blames others and is bent on revenge, a careful planner, a male. And someone who sent up warning signs with his strange behavior long in advance.

Among other things, the 23-year-old South Korean immigrant was sent to a psychiatric hospital and pronounced an imminent danger to himself. He was accused of stalking two women and photographing female students in class with his cell phone. And his violence-filled writings were so disturbing he was removed from one class, and professors begged him to get counseling. He rarely looked anyone in the eye and did not even talk to his own roommates.

Cho, who killed 32 people and committed suicide at the Blacksburg campus Monday, cast himself in his video diatribe as a persecuted figure like Jesus Christ. Cho, who came to the U.S. at about age 8 in 1992 and whose parents worked at a dry cleaners in suburban Washington, also ranted against rich "brats" with Mercedes, gold necklaces, cognac and trust funds.

Classmates in Virginia, where Cho grew up, said he was teased and picked on, apparently because of shyness and his strange, mumbly way of speaking.

Once, in English class at Westfield High School in Chantilly, Va., when the teacher had the students read aloud, Cho looked down when it was his turn, said Chris Davids, a Virginia Tech senior and high school classmate. After the teacher threatened him with an F for participation, Cho began reading in a strange, deep voice that sounded "like he had something in his mouth," Davids said.

"The whole class started laughing and pointing and saying, `Go back to China,'" Davids said.

Stephanie Roberts, 22, a classmate of Cho's at Westfield High, said she never witnessed anyone picking on Cho in high school. But she said friends of hers who went to middle school with him told her they recalled him getting bullied there.

"There were just some people who were really mean to him and they would push him down and laugh at him," Roberts said. "He didn't speak English really well and they would really make fun of him."

Cho's great aunt, who lives in South Korea, said Thursday that because he did not speak much as a child and after the family emigrated to the United States, doctors thought he may be autistic.

"Normally sons and mothers talk. There was none of that for them. He was very cold," Kim Yang-soon said in an interview with AP Television News. "When they went to the United States, they told them it was autism."

Neither school officials, who have his educational records, nor police who have his medical records, have mentioned such a diagnosis this week. Autistic individuals often have difficulty communicating, but such a diagnosis would not necessarily explain his violence.

Regan Wilder, 21, who attended Virginia Tech, high school and middle school with Cho, said she was sure Cho probably was picked on in middle school, but so was everyone else. And it didn't seem as if English was the problem for him, she said. If he didn't speak English well, there were several other Korean students he could have reached out to for friendship, but he didn't.
秦书包 回复 悄悄话 BLACKSBURG, Va. — Long before he boiled over, Virginia Tech gunman Cho
Seung-Hui was picked on, pushed around and laughed at over his shyness and
the strange way he talked when he was a schoolboy in the Washington suburbs,
former classmates say.

Chris Davids, a Virginia Tech senior who graduated from Westfield High
School in Chantilly, Va., with Cho in 2003, recalled that the South Korean
immigrant almost never opened his mouth and would ignore attempts to strike
up a conversation.

Once, in English class, the teacher had the students read aloud, and when it
was Cho's turn, he just looked down in silence, Davids recalled. Finally,
after the teacher threatened him with an F for participation, Cho started to
read in a strange, deep voice that sounded "like he had something in his
mouth,'' Davids said.

"As soon as he started reading, the whole class started laughing and
pointing and saying, `Go back to China,''' Davids said.
comelater 回复 悄悄话 文章写的非常好,道出了一部分父母教育子女的误区本质

这个凶手,绝对不是因为某个人原因,他是报复社会

心理上不健康,是最关键因素之一
seniorman 回复 悄悄话 小平邓的评论
"美国出了多少枪击案?有几起是亚裔?哪个种族没有变态的人?哪次枪击案发生后白人说过白人的教育方式有问题了?
这么一起孤立的事件就能让你把整个亚裔给扯上也足可以看出你骨子里的自卑。"

非常非常同意小平邓的评论.博客主人展示了他骨子里的自卑。这种自卑不会杀人、但会产生更大的"负"作用。
seniorman 回复 悄悄话 非常非常同意小平邓的评论.博客主人展示了他骨子里的自卑。这种自卑不会杀人、但会产生更大的"负"作用。
wuliong 回复 悄悄话 我觉得亚裔族群的家庭教育基本不错。 这个是个例。 再说了, 凶手的姐姐不是过的很好。 读书好,工作好。 倒是要研究研究为什么他和姐姐差的这么多。 怎么会一个家庭的两个孩子差别这么大。
pea 回复 悄悄话 "逻辑思维"似乎有点乱,其它就不想多说了.
虔谦 回复 悄悄话 祝贺你 noso! 我知道会有这天.

发人深省!谢谢!

秦书包 回复 悄悄话 回复thethe的评论:
呵呵,你连别人说什么都没搞清楚就在这反对。
我从没说过父母不该付责任。我说的是不能因为个例就得出一个种群该如何的结论。
山水安妮 回复 悄悄话 刚刚看到。 的确是很值得深思的问题
noso 回复 悄悄话 感谢大家的来访,顺便肤浅地纪念一下:

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noso 回复 悄悄话 欢迎楼下各位的讨论。

对于地域和种族的划分,我的看法是 1)不要掩耳盗铃,自欺欺人。2)对其他种族要不卑不亢。

更重要的是,要站在人性和理性的立场来看问题。

如果我写的能引发您的一些思考,算我给您提个醒儿,没白废工夫。
多云转阴 回复 悄悄话 很明显,这孩子长期受到不公正对待才积累起对社会的仇恨。社会有着不可推卸的责任。

你认为他是嫉妒富者,也太简单了。他们家房子40多万,肯定不是穷人。别老想当然。 没那么简单。
thethe 回复 悄悄话 回复小平邓的评论:不是自卑是谦卑。常响警钟比麻癖大意要好。
thethe 回复 悄悄话 回复noso的评论:
============================
谢楼下各位。

从赵案中我们要引以为戒。

你可以把责任推给社会,推给美国的教育制度,但如果你是赵的家长,你会怎么想?你成天拼命赚钱的目的是什么?你给下一代留下的是什么?每天逼小孩学中文弹钢琴就算教育子女了吗?青少年要德智体全面发展还没忘吧?自己的孩子花钱让别人来教育,跟做买卖有什么区别?

这是我们第一代移民要思考的问题。
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继续支持你的观看。对秦书包的看法不敢苟同。如果你的孩子人生路走偏了,你难道没有一点责任吗?探钢琴上名校没有错,问题是孩子不管多大,都还有感情需要,有些方面是非父母所能取代的。第一代移民的确不容易,但教育孩子不能仅仅是探钢琴上名校,要德智体全面发展。相信你们化了很多时间,但你是你孩子的朋友吗?你真正了解他(她)的心灵深处吗?只是个人想法,不一定正确。
thethe 回复 悄悄话 回复秦书包的评论: 你的观点有点片面,不敢苟同。
秦书包 回复 悄悄话 "谢楼下各位。

从赵案中我们要引以为戒。

你可以把责任推给社会,推给美国的教育制度,但如果你是赵的家长,你会怎么想?你成天拼命赚钱的目的是什么?你给下一代留下的是什么?每天逼小孩学中文弹钢琴就算教育子女了吗?青少年要德智体全面发展还没忘吧?自己的孩子花钱让别人来教育,跟做买卖有什么区别?

这是我们第一代移民要思考的问题。"

不知道你认识几个美国白人。是不是认识的都是家庭条件不怎么样的。
家庭条件好的美国白人父母让孩子在课余时间里上各种班,培养特长的多了去了。把这个归结到移民的头上太可笑了。
要是这次的凶手是中国人,你是不是要到白宫前下跪谢罪阿。
鸣放1957 回复 悄悄话 血腥的游戏玩得太多了,已经分不清REAL WORLD 和 游戏 WORLD 的不同.
荒沙 回复 悄悄话 除 了 yahoo 的那篇转摘,其他各位似乎刚到美国。或者是人在美国,心泊他乡。如果各位在计算机房或实验室少呆一会,多留心一下美国社会与政治,那你至少会 想想这个人为何得病,他至于仅仅因为忌妒去送命吗。 

在Oklahoma City 政府大厦暴炸时,每个人都说是“中东人”干的。这一次,大 家一开时都坚信是“中国人”所为。没想到吧?

当各位陛下在为怎样教育自己的子女犹虑不堪之时,你是否会太夸张了自己的能力 了呢?你与孩子一起的时间不会比他们在学校和社会上的时间更多吧?孩子在外的 经历,你恐怕不一定都知道吧?
noso 回复 悄悄话 谢楼下各位。

从赵案中我们要引以为戒。

你可以把责任推给社会,推给美国的教育制度,但如果你是赵的家长,你会怎么想?你成天拼命赚钱的目的是什么?你给下一代留下的是什么?每天逼小孩学中文弹钢琴就算教育子女了吗?青少年要德智体全面发展还没忘吧?自己的孩子花钱让别人来教育,跟做买卖有什么区别?

这是我们第一代移民要思考的问题。
Beijing101 回复 悄悄话 I don't agree with the blogger's conclusion. This incident reflects the failure of the American Education System. No one reached out to save the killer's soul. Even though there were so many warning signs of a troubled mind, the society in general just ignored him and let him choose how to live or end his own life. He was abnormal and his action was hideous. But he was not BORN that way. Over ten years of exposure in a free country did not bring out the best in him.

This is a tragedy and a wake-up call for us to fall back on the value sand virtues of pre-internet age. Teach our children RESPECT in stead of REVENGE. Take away their video games or at least limit their time spent on those killing games. Plant a tree instead and watch the tree grow everyday.
half-bucket-full 回复 悄悄话 你在说啥,你想说啥?我们该咋作?
标题很诱人
落叶归根 回复 悄悄话 据YAHOO报道,问题的原因是赵经常因为害羞而收到同学和老师的嘲笑:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070419/ap_on_re_us/virginia_tech_shooting

Once, in English class, the teacher had the students read aloud, and when
it was Cho's turn, he just looked down in silence, Davids recalled. Finally,
after the teacher threatened him with an F for participation, Cho started
to read in a strange, deep voice that sounded "like he had something in
his mouth," Davids said.

"As soon as he started reading, the whole class started laughing and pointing
and saying, `Go back to China,'" Davids said.
小平邓 回复 悄悄话 美国出了多少枪击案?有几起是亚裔?哪个种族没有变态的人?哪次枪击案发生后白人说过白人的教育方式有问题了?
这么一起孤立的事件就能让你把整个亚裔给扯上也足可以看出你骨子里的自卑。
落叶归根 回复 悄悄话 "vandalized my heart, raped my soul and torched my conscience"
这些话具体指什么事情?
落叶归根 回复 悄悄话 他的文字之间充满仇恨,只是还不清楚,这种仇恨是从那里来的。
darwin 回复 悄悄话 There is nothing to do with Asian or whatever races and nationalities. Such insane people exist in every country. I would say in Asian culture, most likely such people are produced less than in culturally more aggressive western countries.

wake up! Don't relate whatever bad things to Asian culture.
随便胡侃一下 回复 悄悄话 瞧者题目起的!
我的感觉,历来的美国校园枪杀案,主角比较多的还是白人吧?对那些案例,题目是不是就改成:从xxx杀人看美国白人(黑人、犹太人、阿拉伯移民、拉丁美洲移民、等等等等)家庭对子女教育的误导
aywl 回复 悄悄话 我看身边的亚裔,为名/钱出卖朋友,完全的唯利是图。他/她们应该读读此文。
thethe 回复 悄悄话 回复chiefwiggum的评论:
他的家庭和我们许多中国人的家庭很相似,我们周围有很多父母和子女都有不同程度的问题,常敲警钟没有错。
thethe 回复 悄悄话 给noso: 谢谢你的好文。要作孩子的朋友这一点很重要,即使管教也要本者爱心来管教。血的教训啊!父母们,真的要小心。
noso 回复 悄悄话 谢谢楼下各位的评语和来访。短短小文,草草而就,不可能面面俱到。

想补充一点:之所以提到亚裔移民,因为身为亚洲人,我们有很多共性。

咱们伟大的祖国以前还有毛主席的教导,要我们象早上8。9点钟的太阳一样,要做一个对人民对祖国有贡献的,一个脱离低级趣味的人。现在是一切向钱看,做人要做有钱的人。

没有人谈什么精神道德了。

这件事的发生,虽然凶手不是中国人,但不能不引以为戒。

把凶手说是精神病也好,说是韩国人的劣根性也好,在我个人看来,都是在同事件的人和事保持距离,对人性的理解和人生的感悟还不到位。Sorry.

建议大家多跟自己的孩子在一起,多了解他们的心理,跟他们交朋友。孩子不是杂草自己能随便长大。现在的社会坏的影响太多了,资讯太发达了,连我们成人自己有时都把握不住自己,别说小孩子了。

防患于未然,警钟常鸣。
adc 回复 悄悄话 Crazy guys are seen in all societies, all racial groups. Not only from Asian. I think statistically, education in Asian families are more successful.
kizomba 回复 悄悄话 I agree that the education from some Asian parents are problematic. One good example is my coworker, who was brought here during high school and still struggling with his own self identity: American? Chinese? Taiwanese? I can sense he hates himself because he is Chinese. He really admires people who makes a lot of money. He loves guns. He doesn't have friends. Does this sound like another Cho? Myself and my coworkers think so. The only difference is he talks although his talk always make people feel uncomfortable.

As for the influence of mainstream religion, I think it may play a negative role. Remember a lot of Koreans are Christians. Some church teachings can push a person like Cho to the limit. Especially in Old Testment, there are a lot of stories about people being prosecuted by the majority but eventuaully win with the help of God. Those people in our eyes may well be loners. Their eventual victories are usually pretty bloody.
chiefwiggum 回复 悄悄话 别没事往自己身上找原因,愤世嫉俗的神经病多得去了,和是不是亚裔有什么关系?
猪钢鬃 回复 悄悄话 注意正确教育引导子女是对的,尤其作为外国人。
但是不要因为美国目前的富庶和强大而断定美国什么都好。
也大可不必把一个刑事个案上升到贬低某族群的高度。
sunflowera 回复 悄悄话 打错字:不失为一篇好文,值得推荐。
sunflowera 回复 悄悄话 “但他们的精神父母是充满色情和凶杀的美国电视,电影,游戏,网络,RAP和ROCK音乐”这点有点偏激,但不失为一篇好为。get to the point.
请问noso,可否转出去?
jennyga 回复 悄悄话 "几乎所有的亚洲人,尤其是咱们中国人,和与我们在文化习俗上很接近的韩国人和日本人,从骨子里有很深的等级观念。这种等级观念表现出来就是对金钱,地位和权力的崇拜, 对贫穷的厌恶。"

写得好!尤其那些为了工作、学习、赚钱等等,把孩子托给他人抚养的父母们要醒醒了。
likellllll 回复 悄悄话 "在没有自我心理调节能力和社会帮助,特别是主流宗教的指引下,这种嫉妒和不满就会发展成仇恨和暴力."


这个说的好.
惠兰 回复 悄悄话 这个事件太惨了.但谢谢你的好文.希望如此悲剧不再发生.
**CEO** 回复 悄悄话 不光是亚裔,还不了解美国人。那些从穷地方来的正儿八经的美国人都有一样的思想,仇富心理很重。
paris1998 回复 悄悄话 "几乎所有的亚洲人,尤其是咱们中国人,和与我们在文化习俗上很接近的韩国人和日本人,从骨子里有很深的等级观念。这种等级观念表现出来就是对金钱,地位和权力的崇拜, 对贫穷的厌恶。"

不同意以上观点。哪个世界的人,哪个人种的人不是这样的呢?比较起来亚洲人做这种事的还在少数。
人都是人,重要的是要明白,也教会孩子们知道:生活是美丽的生活是短暂的生活也不是一帆风顺的,应该把不管怎样的生活过出意义来!Enjoy your life!


a500d 回复 悄悄话 要注意这个孩子的特殊情况,他8岁到美国。他那个年龄段在学校可能不太容易适应,有隐性歧视等等,结果是没有朋友,父母再不注意,性格上就有烙印了。童年的影响可是大事儿。
jwayne_1 回复 悄悄话 not completely accurate. i actually know a few cases of young kids came to u.s. from asian countries that some how the kids developed some mental problem of various degrees. it is probably related to many reasons, not just the parents. nothing is that simple.
a500d 回复 悄悄话 通知布什,把本文发给美国所有亚裔家庭,人手一份,好好学习。
老杨 回复 悄悄话 几乎所有第三世界都是这样,是狭隘,还是哪里有压迫,哪里就有反抗?哈哈!糊涂啦!一种,仇富心理.武装夺取是资本原始积累的最简单,容易的方式!枪杆子里面出政权.到小姐和少奶奶的牙床上踩一踩.
怎么说着说着我想起了文化大革命...
SUNNE 回复 悄悄话 精神和心理的缺陷有些是生下来就有的。个别孩子很小就表现出与众不同,但家长并了解。这样的孩子在智力方面往往都很正常,进入成年病态会逐渐严重。所以他们说的和写的东西都是自己的想像。
春江水 回复 悄悄话 “两代人生活在什么样的世界啊”,希望这个用血和生命提出的问题唤醒人们。我们父母对孩子更应该关注什么?文中分析的“用钱解决一切”和“用暴力解决一切”反映了两代人精神上的匮乏和扭曲,成为最终导致悲剧的重要原因之一。谢谢你的好文!受益。
noso 回复 悄悄话 冷雨敲窗: Thanks for your kind comment.
noso 回复 悄悄话 A list of the victims of the shootings at Virginia Tech:


Killed:

· Ross Abdallah Alameddine, 20, of Saugus, Mass., according to his mother, Lynnette Alameddine.

· Christopher James Bishop, 35, according to Darmstadt University of Technology in Germany, where he helped run an exchange program.

· Brian Bluhm, 25, a civil engineering graduate student, according to an announcement by the Detroit Tigers and friends. He had previously lived in Iowa, Detroit and Louisville, Ky.

· Ryan Clark, 22, of Martinez, Ga., biology and English major, according to Columbia County Coroner Vernon Collins.

· Austin Cloyd, an international studies major from Blacksburg, Va., according to Terry Harter, senior pastor at First United Methodist Church in Champaign, Ill., where Cloyd and her family lived before moving to Blacksburg.

· Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, a French instructor, according to her husband, Jerzy Nowak, the head of the horticulture department at Virginia Tech.

· Daniel Perez Cueva, 21, killed in his French class, according to his mother, Betty Cueva, of Peru.

· Kevin Granata, age unknown, engineering science and mechanics professor, according to Ishwar K. Puri, the head of the engineering science and mechanics department.

· Matthew G. Gwaltney, 24, of Chester, Va., a graduate student in civil and environmental engineering, according to his father and stepmother, Greg and Linda Gwaltney.

· Caitlin Hammaren, 19, of Westtown, N.Y., a sophomore majoring in international studies and French, according to Minisink Valley, N.Y., school officials who spoke with Hammaren's family.

· Jeremy Herbstritt, 27, of Bellefonte, Pa., according to Penn State University, his alma mater and his father's employer.

· Rachael Hill, 18, of Glen Allen, Va., according to her father, Guy Hill.

· Emily Jane Hilscher, a 19-year-old freshman from Woodville, according to Rappahannock County Administrator John W. McCarthy, a family friend.

· Jarrett L. Lane, 22, of Narrows, Va., according to Riffe's Funeral Service Inc. in Narrows, Va.

· Matthew J. La Porte, 20, a sophomore from Dumont, N.J., according to Dumont Police Chief Brian Venezio.

· Henry J. Lee, also known as Henh Ly, 20, a first-year student majoring in computer engineering from Roanoke, Va., according to Oakey's Funeral Service in Roanoke.

· Liviu Librescu, 76, engineering science and mathematics lecturer, according to Puri.

· G.V. Loganathan, 51, civil and environmental engineering professor, according to his brother G.V. Palanivel.

· Partahi Lombantoruan, 34, of Indonesia, civil engineering doctoral student, according to Kristiarto Legowo, a spokesman for the foreign ministry.

· Lauren McCain, 20, of Hampton, Va., international studies major, according to a statement from the family.

· Daniel O'Neil, 22, of Rhode Island, according to close friend Steve Craveiro and according to Eric Cardenas of Connecticut College, where O'Neil's father, Bill, is director of major gifts.

· Juan Ramon Ortiz, a 26-year-old graduate student in engineering from Bayamon, Puerto Rico, according to his wife, Liselle Vega Cortes.

· Minal Panchal, 26, a first-year building-science student from Mumbai, India, according to foreign ministry spokesman Navtej Sarna.

· Erin Peterson, 18, of Chantilly, Va., an international studies major, according to her father, Grafton Peterson.

· Michael Pohle, 23, of Flemington, N.J., according to officials at his high school, Hunterdon Central High.

· Julia Pryde, age unknown, a graduate student from Middletown, N.J., according to Virginia Tech professor Saied Mostaghimi, chairman of the biological systems and engineering department.

· Mary Karen Read, 19, of Annandale, Va. according to her aunt, Karen Kuppinger, of Rochester, N.Y.

· Reema J. Samaha, 18, a freshman from Centreville, Va., according to her family.

· Waleed Mohammed Shaalan, of Zagazig, Egypt, a doctoral student in civil engineering, according to the university.

· Leslie Sherman, a sophomore history and international studies student from Springfield, Va., according to her grandmother Gerry Adams.

· Maxine Turner, 22, a senior majoring in chemical engineering from Vienna, Va., according to her father, Paul Turner.

· Nicole White, 20, a junior majoring in international studies from Smithfield, Va., according to a family statement released by the Suffolk, Va., Police Department.

冷雨敲窗 回复 悄悄话 好文!所有父母都应学习的文件。
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