天泽英语园
落霞与孤鹜齐飞，秋水共长天一色 一句最有魅力的中国古诗. 令人心旷神怡,宁静致远.
博文
(2009-09-22 20:49:53)
ChickenSoup鸡汤
Joewasinthehospitalanditwastimeforlunch.Helooksathislunchandsays,"Idon'tlikechickensoup,bringsomethingelse."Thehospitalworkersaid,"It'sgoodforyou,thedoctorsaidyoushouldhaveit."Regardless,thepatientrefusedtoeatit.Thatnight,apatientintheroomwithJoehadabadstomachpainsothenursescameintogivehimanenema.Bymistake,theygavetheenematoJoe.Thefollowingweek,whenhewa...[阅读全文]
(2009-09-22 20:49:28)
生活是不公平的；要去适应它。
Lifeisnotfair,getusedtoit.
这世界并不会在意你的自尊。这世界指望你在自我感觉良好之前先要有所成就。
Theworldwon"tcareaboutyourself-esteem.Theworldwillexpectyoutoaccomplishsomethingbeforeyoufeelgoodaboutyourself.
高中刚毕业你不会一年挣4万美元。你不会成为一个公司的副总裁，并拥有一部装有电话的汽车，直到你将此职位和汽车电话都[阅读全文]
(2009-09-21 17:58:37)
FromAmerica它们是从美国带来的
NotlongafteranoldChinesewomancamebacktoChinafromhervisittoherdaughterintheStates,shewenttoacitybanktodeposittheUSdollarsherdaughtergaveher.Atthebankcounter,theclerkcheckedeachnotecarefullytoseeifthemoneywasreal.Itmadetheoldladyoutofpatience.Atlastshecouldnotholdanymore,uttering."Trustme,Sir,andtrustthemoney.TheyarerealUSdollars.TheyaredirectlyfromAmerica...[阅读全文]
(2009-09-20 16:38:28)
英文幽默:SeriousChat严肃的聊天
AliceandMonicawerehavingararehearttohearttalk.
“What’dyouconsideryourworstvice?”Aliceasked.
“Idon’tliketoadmitit.”Monicasaid.
“Butmyworstvicewasmyvanity.SometimesIsitinfrontofthemirrorandjustadmiremyface.”
“Iwouldn’tworryaboutit.”SaidAlice.
“That’snotvanity,that’simagination.”
Alice和Monica正在促膝谈心，这可是很罕见的。...[阅读全文]
(2009-09-19 20:11:45)
TheBestAnswer最佳答案
Anewspaperorganizedacontestforthebestanswertothequestion:"IfafirebrokeoutintheLouvre,andifyoucouldonlysaveonepainting,whichonewouldyoucarryout?"
Thewinningreplywas:"Theonenearesttheexit."
一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将拿出哪一幅？”
获奖的答案是：“最接近出口的那一幅。”
(2009-09-18 20:50:23)
龙文
中央电视台《开心辞典》开心学国学主题曲
作词：小虫/权芳
作曲：小虫
演唱：李谷一谭晶小柯小虫
一弹戏牡丹一挥万重山
一横长城长一竖字铿锵
一画蝶成双一撇鹊桥上
一勾游江南一点茉莉香
洒下床前明月光
上下千年一梦长
古今如一龙凤凰
黑眼黑发真善良
宫商角征羽琴棋[阅读全文]
(2009-09-18 17:54:19)
ILost我输了
Itwasatafiveo’clocktea.Ayoungmancametothehostesstoapologizeforhislateness.
“Sogoodofyoutocome,Mr.Jones,andwhereisyourbrother？”
“Youseewe'reverybusyintheofficeandonlyoneofuscouldcome,sowetossedupforit.”
“Hownice!Andsooriginal,too!Andyouwon?”
“No,”saidtheyoungmanabsently,“Ilost.”
五点钟，下午茶的时间，一个年轻人因为迟到向女主人致歉。
“您能来可...[阅读全文]
(2009-09-17 20:54:46)
英文幽默:AHastyInterruption轻率的插话
Thefine-furniturestorewhereIwork/hasbeeninbusiness/sincethe1920s./RecentlyIreceivedacallfromawoman/whowantedtoreplacesomechairs/fromadiningset/purchasedfromus/inthe1930s./Iassuredher/wecouldhelpand/soughttheassistanceoftheofficemanager./"You'llneverbelievethisone,/"Itoldhim."/Ijustgotacall/fromacustomer/whoboughtsomechairsfromus/inthe19...[阅读全文]
(2009-09-16 18:12:33)
英文幽默:ParkingExpenses停车费
AbusinessmanwalkedintoaNewYorkCitybankandaskedfortheloanofficer.HesaidhewasgoingtoEuropeonbusinessfortwoweeksandneededtoborrow$5,000.Theloanofficersaidthebankwouldneedsomesecurityforsuchaloan.ThebusinessmanthenhandedoverthekeystoaRollsRoycethatwasparkedonthestreetinfrontofthebank.Everythingcheckedoutandtheloanofficeracceptedthecarascollateralfortheloan.Anemp...[阅读全文]
(2009-09-15 21:41:17)
英文幽默:FreeAdvice?免费的建议？
Adoctorandalawyerweretalkingataparty.Theirconversationwasconstantlyinterruptedbypeopledescribingtheirailmentsandaskingthedoctorforfreemedicaladvice.Afteranhourofthis,theexasperateddoctoraskedthelawyer,"Whatdoyoudotostoppeoplefromaskingyouforlegaladvicewhenyou'reoutoftheoffice?"
"Igiveittothem,"repliedthelawyer,"andthenIsendthem...[阅读全文]
