2009 (179)
2010 (242)
2011 (208)
2012 (169)
2013 (161)
2014 (114)
2015 (143)
2016 (142)
2017 (91)
2018 (86)
2019 (66)
2021 (47)
2022 (47)
1 意想不到的电话/An unexpected call
Mrs. Brown dialed her daughter's number and sang out, "Hello, darling. How are you?"
"Terrible, Mom. My back is killing me, the children are acting up, the house is a mess…and I'm expecting guest for dinner."
"Don't worry, darling. I'm coming right over. I'll feed the kids, clean up your place, and cook a dinner your guests will never forget."
"You're an angel! How is Dad?"
"Dad? Sweetheart, you know Daddy died nine years ago."
Pause. "What number are you calling? Hold on? Please!" the voice wailed. "Does this mean you are not coming over?"
布朗夫人给她女儿拨了个电话，然后高兴地说：“哎，亲爱的，你好吗？”
“太糟了， 妈妈。我的腰疼得很厉害。孩子们一直在闹，房子里乱七八糟的，我还要为客人准备晚餐。”
“亲爱的，别着急，我马上就来。我会把孩子们喂饱，清理好房子，然后给客人们做一顿难以忘怀的晚餐。”
“你真是个救命的菩萨，爸爸怎么样？”
“你爸爸？亲爱的，你这是怎么啦？你爸爸九年前就死了呀？”
沉默了一会，“您是不是拨错了电话？请别挂上，”那个声音哀泣道，“是不是这就意味着您不会来啦？”
2 巧妙的借口/Good excuse
Police officers hear plenty of excuses from people caught parking only for the handicapped persons.
Once a policeman stopped a man for doing so. When the man was questioned if he knew the parking regulations. He answered correctly. Then the policeman further questioned why he was parking his car there.
"Oh, I injured my leg last week. The doctor said I would become disabled if I didn't get proper treatment. Now I'm experiencing what I feel like to be a disabled person."
警察抓到把车错停到残疾人专用车位的人时听到了大量的借口。
一次，一个警察阻止一个人把车停在残疾人的专用位上。当警察问他是否知道这个停车的规定时，他回答得很正确。然后警察进一步问他为什么还把车停在那儿。
那人回答说：“哦，上星期我摔伤了腿，大夫说，如果我不很好治疗，我就会变残疾，现在我想先体验一下做个残疾人是什么滋味。”
3 耐心/Patience
My friend and I were busy mending fences when my house-keeper arrived. Several times during the day, she drove out, returning 45 minutes later. Feeling curious, my friend asked her:
"Where do you keep going?"
"Some darn birds built a nest in my car bumper1!" she exclaimed. "Every two hours I have to go home because the parents are waiting to feed their young. I wish they'd hurry up and raise those kids."
我和我的朋友正在忙着修篱笆，这时候，我的管家也来了。在这一天中，她开车出去了好几次，每次都是四十五分钟后回来，我的朋友感到很奇怪，于是问她：
“你总去哪儿？”
“一些该死的鸟在我的汽车保险杠上出了筑一个巢，”她说，“我必须每隔两小时回一趟家，不然那些大鸟就会等在那里喂它的小鸟，我真希望它们快点把她们的孩子喂大。”
4 老子迷路了/I am Lost
There was a man who raised a pig. He felt tired of it and gave it up. However, the pig knew the way to go home. The man did not succeed in doing so several times.
One day, the man drove a vehicle, turning many times on the way, then gave it up. Late at night, he telephoned to his family and asked: "Had the pig returned home?"
A member of his family answered: "It had." The man roared: "Let it answer the telephone. I am lost!"
某人养一猪，烦，弃之，然猪知归路，数弃无功。
一日，其驾车转了很多弯，然后丢弃了猪。深夜其致电家人，问：“猪归否？”
其家人答曰：“已归！” 其怒吼：“让它接电话，老子迷路了！”
5 恐吓/A threat
A commuter sitting on a subway train reading a paperback was so sprawled out in the seat that the woman next to him had very little room. When she asked if he could move a bit, he refused.
Just then, a man opposite them yelled, "Why don't you sit like a human being!"
"What are you going to do if I don't?" came the reply.
"Well, for one thing, I'll tell you how that book ends."
一位通勤的家伙四肢伸展地坐在座位上看着一本平装书。他旁边的女士只有很小的空间，便要求稍微挪动一下，却遭到了他的拒绝。
这时，坐在对面的一位先生喊道：“你为什么不能像人一样坐着呢？”
“我就是不愿意，看你能把我怎么样？”那人答道 。
“那好，只有一个办法了，我会告诉你这本书是怎样结的尾。”
6 清楚的解释/A clear explanation
Working at a theater box-office ticket window poses many challenges in dealing with people.
A disgruntled customer at a window near mine exclaimed: "No tickets? What do you mean no tickets?"
The woman waiting on him smiled sweetly. "I'm terribly sorry," she replied. "Which word didn't you understand?"
工作在剧院票房窗口在与人们打交道时会有许多挑战。
一次，我隔壁售票口传来了一位怏怏不快的顾客的抱怨：“没有票啦？你说的没票了是什么意思？”
等候他的那位女售票员笑容可掬地回答说：“先生，实在对不起您，哪个字你不明白？”
哈哈,问好东东:)
花甲老翁好! 是,通常中国人都认为猪笨:)
花甲老翁,新周快乐!
哈哈,菲儿好,真是简单到不能再简单的词了:)
菲儿,周日快乐!
是說;你真係蠢過隻豬。(只有老闆及長辈才會用)
小小月好! 很高兴你喜欢这些笑话,还把笑声带给他人.功劳应归功于原创者,我只是搬来而已:)
小小月,周末快乐！
问好晓青,周末快乐!
小小好! 看着小鸟长大是挺美的哈.这6个都不是我翻译的,我就是在原译者的基础上改动了一点儿:)
小小,周末快乐!
家MM好！现在知道猪比某些人都聪明了～
家MM，周末快乐！
点点好! 我们一直认为猪笨,其实人家还是很聪明的哈.有些顾客的问题真是挑战.不知道警察是否觉得这个理由适当,不予罚款:)
点点,周末快乐!
cxyz好! 好像大家都喜欢那个猪的:)
cxyz,周末快乐!
冬日好! 嗯,第一个中女儿真是大失所望啊,我也喜欢那个猪的:)
冬日,周末快乐!
松松的翻译很棒，特别是那句：“老子迷路了！”，如果翻成“我迷路了!”就没有那么逗乐了！
谢谢松松分享，周末快乐！
松松周末愉快。
问好盒子,周末快乐!
给沙发上的水沫上茶:)
嗯,那只猪也太聪明了~
问好水沫,周末快乐!