Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Jon?
Jon: I won it in a race.
Bill: How many people participated in it?
Jon: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!
2 狗的坏习惯/A dog’s bad habit
As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit. Every time I hung my wash out on the clothesline, she would yank it down. Drastic action was called for.
I put a white kitchen towel on the line and waited. Each time she pulled it off, I scolded her. After two weeks the towel was untouched. Then I hung out a large wash and left to do some errands. When I came home, my clean clothes were scattered all over the yard. On the line was the white kitchen towel.
3 快速逃命/A hasty retreat
After a week's absence, a mountain man staggered home, clothes torn, shoes worn thin. He was exhausted.
"Where have you been?" asked his wife.
"I went out in the woods." Replied the mountain man, "and a giant bear stepped out in front of me. I took off running ahead of him and finally lost him. I never ran so fast in my life."
"But that was a week ago." Said the wife. "Where have you been since?"
The mountain man collapsed in a chair. "Walking back."
4 大吃一惊/A surprise
We had just moved into a new school district, when brother was invited to a surprise birthday party. He didn't want to go, however, because he couldn't recall ever meeting the birthday boy.
"Ridiculous!" said my mother. "If he didn't know you, his mother wouldn't have invited you." And with that she packed him off to have a good time.
When Dave came home, Mom wanted to know how it had gone.
"Well," he said glumly, "We got there and everyone hid behind a couch. Then, when the boy came in, we all jumped up and yelled, 'SURPISE'. And he pointed straight at me and shouted, 'Who is he?'"
5 正在播放《白雪公主》/Snowy White is on TV
One day a customer called to a service representative at a cable-television company. She complained about the reception on the Disney Channel.
"Tell me what is wrong with it," the representative said.
She replied, "It's all snowy white."
"That's right." We're right now playing the Snow White.
6 墙衣太厚/Too many coats
After a two-week vacation, a man returned to his office and one of his fellow workers asked him what kind of time he's had.
"I spent the whole two weeks helping my wife paint the rooms in our house," he groaned.
"Does she do that often?"
"Well," came the reply, "when we moved in a few years ago, the guest room was nine by twelve. Now it's eight by eleven!"