须眉不让巾帼

A man’s facial hair is like the lawn of a house.
What the landscaping of the lawn does to the added value of the property the beard does to the handsomeness of a man.
Growing a beard seems to be quite trendy lately. Look at the male celebrities: Enrique, Marc Anthony, George Michael, Prince, Bocceli, …. And you will find their faces are all extremely bushy.
A man’s facial hair can be categorized into three types:
Mustache: that which grows beneath the nostrils and above the upper lips.
Whisk: that which grows along the hairline near the ears going all the way down along the cheeks.
Beard: that which grows beneath the lower lips, covering the chin and extending sidewise towards the whisks.
The maintenance of the facial hair requires as much effort as a landscaping artist.
My beard management tools are more professional than a landscaper or gardener::
Electrical Shaver
Disposable Razor
Small comb
After-shave lotion
Shaving cream
Scissors
Last but not least the Mustache trimmer, which I spotted at a pawn shop one day. My ecstasy at that moment was as thrilling as Mr. Columbus when he spotted the New World. Just read its specifications and you will know it is intended for the pros only:
Deluxe Mustache Trimmer
(Tondeuse a moustache de luxe)
Cordless/battery operated
(Sans cordon/alimentation sur pile)
Small head makes it easier to shape around the curved area or the lip
Angled design lets you see what you’re trimming for greater control and precision.
Mustache comb included.
Like a landscaping architect, I have to take the whole map of my frontal face into account, and decide whether I am going to do with or without mustache, where is the borderline of the beard and what is the length of the grow-up.
My first step is to mow my beard with the electrical shaver. This is the easiest part of the whole endeavor, yet requires considerable precision skills. Instead of shaving off all the outgrown crops to the roots I have to mow it at certain length consistently.
After the mowing is done, the razor blade is applied to the borders and raid the outer area relentlessly so as to clear all the unwanted area, leaving a clear-cut borderline around the beard.
The facial skin, especially the area connecting my chin and neck, is sagging considerably and becomes a hazard to the disposable razor, which tends to plough through its surface with great pain, and occasionally the blade got stuck and sank into the skin. Tiny stain of blood would pop up here and there like the rosebuds in the newly-cultivated garden.
The final touch is the task of the scissors that trims away certain undisciplined or crooked hair that does not confirm in height to the rest of its comrades.
Voila!!! It is all set. The After-shave lotion is applied to the now fresh looking chin and cheeks. For the rest of the day, a trace of faint fragrance will accompany me. I enjoy particularly the lunch break when the elevator is packed with lovely girls, and my CK After-shave is flirting with their CD and Nina Ricci perfume.

[melly]

you are so optimistic and humorous. no bad titles but bad writers. even trimming beard could be described so vividly and interestingly. really enjoy your post. Thank you.