人要幸福地愿意被人用: 教主与楼下的姐姐谈心

亲爱的姐姐：

你妹妹是个正常的人。 有时她希望从他人包括自己的亲人那里多得到一些，虽然你不愿意成为她那样的人，但依然可以对她理解与宽容。

她两次来美国生孩子，完全无可厚非。 作为姐姐，你能帮她就帮她。 无论对亲人或陌生人，无论是主动或被动的帮助，只有不计回报我们才能幸福。

我们活着，是要做幸福的人，做能对别人有用的人，而不是做不被别人利用的人。 其实，能被他人所用的人才是更有价值的人。

你的名字和身份能帮助你妹妹，似乎你也没什么损失。 我不理解你为什么纠结。 即使有些损失，只要不是致命的， 损己利人依然是件值得快乐和幸福的事情。

你年迈父亲的古董不可能随你父亲万年，你妹妹独占也就独占了。 如果你未来需要你妹妹的帮助， 你就大方地说好了。 你们父女都不需要为此纠结。

这个帖子表达了我的一些生活观，幸福观和价值观。 希望你能借鉴。

愿意被你或任何她人利用的，
阿里 My younger sister used my name (without my permition, she stoled my passport copy ) to register a manufactor in China over 10 years ago. (for no tax or lower tax perpose, I think).recently she has a fight with her husband, now she wants me back to China to make a document authorize only her (no more her busband name on it ) to run the business. My questions are: 1) I never know my name being used , I did not get a penny on it, also never pay any tax in USA, If I go there to sign the document, I may put myself in big a trouble. 2) me and my younger sister not get alone at all. she is a selfish, big liar, business woman. she traveled USA 03 to stay for 6 months (visa only for 3months) give a brith here, then 3 years later did same thing again, another boy borned here, after that, she can't get her visa again. ( Thank God!) While she was here, she wants to use my Driver's License to rent a car to drive,I refused. She was not happy, 3) My brother and sister-in -law used to work in her company for few years, they work so hard, no weekend, but still she did not happy. when my brother and his wife tryed to leave (about 2009), she did not allow them to go, owe them 6 months salary. she is the kind of person always use people, a lot of thing she did is not leagal at all. My parents live in NY with me now. and she put her 6 years old boy here let my mom (79 years old) take care. my mom is willing to do that. I really do not want to deal anything with my sister. but my mom in between proptect her. they always talk on the phone, saying how bad I am. the good thing is my Dad (hs is 83 now) is justice, he know who is bad, this is why my sister hates dad too. she stole my dad's antique few years ago. It is complecated, I need your ideas and suggestions for that company under my name.

[欢颜展卷林中闲坐]

I beg to differ.

It's good to be generous towards others. However, reinforcing selfish behavior of her sister is not wise, and is bad for her sister in the long term.

Ask her to give something back to others when she asks for something from you. That is better than indulging her selfishness w/o boundaries. Her sister needs to learn that you can't be takers forever. Teaching her to be a giver is the best gift she can give her.