10 宿命通 Fate Through

目录 Catalog：10.1 刘团长的死讯 News of Liu's Death；10.2 大爆炸Big Bang；10.3 去找刘健君结婚 Went to Marry Eve Liu；10.4 刘团长的遗言 Troupe Leader Liu's Will；10.5 宿命通 Fate Through；10.6 治疗心病的原则 Principles of Curing Mental Illness；10.7 宿命智 Fate Intelligence；10.8 神的外貌 Godly Appearances；10.9 三位一体 Godly Trinity；10.10 灵魂转世的本质 Nature of Reincarnation

 

10.1 刘团长的死讯 News of Liu's Death

二零一一年五月，我到高德联合公司（Golder Associates Inc.）的实验室工作。高德是家上市了的国际性岩土工程公司。我只在实验室里工作，不下工地，接触的人少。实验室的经理玛丽的名字很长，我不能拼读。在面试我时，她同意我称呼她玛丽（Mary）。她来自一个我不知道在哪里的国家。她再次解释；我还是想不出来，就不好意思再问了。工作一段时间后，我发现人们称呼她玛丽亚、罗密欧什么的，再次问应该怎么称呼她。她回答她的生活里就这样，不同的人叫她不同的名字，习惯了。我常观察她，她是个标准健壮的欧洲血统白人，行为端庄得体，传统西方人的世界观，性格不紧不慢，没有地方口音，没有民族和地域的特质；我分析不出她来自何方。

开始的两个月还好，可工作中，我又接触到了达弗罗克（Davroc）和大佛印（Dufferin）公司的人和业务，渐渐的我的觉思失调症又成长起来了。我和同事之间有了矛盾，对黑社会的担心越来越重。刘健君研究灵魂转世，雇佣黑社会的人，黑社会的人办事不成，丢了面子，或者什么人矜持不住了，就可能出现谋杀事件。

In May 2011, I went to work in the laboratory of Golder Associates Inc. Golder is a publicly traded international geotechnical engineering firm. I only worked in the lab, not went to the job site, had little contact with people. The lab manager, Mary, had a long name that I couldn't spell. When I was interviewed, she agreed to let me call her Mary. She was from a country I didn't know where. She explained again; I still couldn't figure it out, so I was too embarrassed to ask again. After working for a while, I realized that people called her Maria, Mario, or whatever, and again asked what I should call her. She replied that that was how it was in her life; different people called her different names and got used to it. I often observe her. She is a standard, strong white woman of European descent. She behaves in a dignified and proper manner, has a traditional Western worldview, a leisurely personality, no local accent, and no ethnic or regional characteristics. I cannot analyze where she is from.

The first two months were fine, but at work, I met people and business from Davroc and Dufferin, and gradually my schizophrenia worsened. I had conflicts with my colleagues, and I became more and more worried about the black society. Eve Liu studied soul reincarnation and hired black society people. If those mafias failed to get tasks done, lost face, or someone lost their composure, there might be murders.

10.1-2

一天的喝咖啡休息时间，听同事们在唠嗑。事后，不知为什么，我回忆起了玛丽讲她开会时看的录像。刘健君回答桫椤派去调查我的人：“卢岩心理的社会环境和别人不一样。他念研究生的时候，他同屋那个人是我爸爸安排的。他们就一起骗他；他就信了。”

调查的人问：“现在你爸爸在哪儿？”

刘健君回答：“死了！我爸爸做的事儿与我没有关系。那时我不在国内，我在美国读博士呢！”

调查的人问：“那你为什么不告诉卢岩？”

One day during a coffee break, I listened to my colleagues chatting. Afterwards, for some reason, I recalled Mary's talk about the video she watched in the meeting. Eve Liu answered the person sent by Sal Fasullo to investigate me: "Luyan's psychological social environment is different from others. When he was a graduate student, the person he shared a room with was arranged by my father. They lied to him together; he believed it."

The investigator asked, "Where is your father now?"

Eve Liu replied, "Dead! What my father did has nothing to do with me. I was not in China at that time, I was in the United States studying for my doctorate!"

The investigator asked, "Then why didn't you tell Luyan?"

刘健君回答：“我爸说，卢岩很犟。他不亲眼看见，谁告诉他，他都不信，就只能是别人在他旁边唠嗑，或者路上的人唠嗑，他听见了，就想。一点儿点儿地，他想明白了，就没事儿了。”

调查的人问：“你爸爸想让卢岩干什么？”

刘健君回答：“他说我这辈子命运中没有丈夫，除了卢岩，别人都不行。说我不是他的女儿，卢岩是他的儿子。他就想让我和卢岩结婚。我爸说，看不见我和卢岩结婚，他死不瞑目。你看，我不迷信，不信这个。”

Eve Liu replied, "My dad said that Luyan was very stubborn. If he didn't see it with his own eyes, he wouldn't believe anyone who told him, so he could only think about it when others chattered next to him or people on the road chattered, and he heard it. Little by little, he figured it out, and then he was fine."

The investigator asked, "What did your father want Luyan to do?"

Eve Liu replied, "He said that I had no husband in my life, and that no one else would do except Luyan. He said that I am not his daughter and Luyan is his son. He then wanted me to marry Luyan. My dad said he can't see me marry Luyan, he dies with eyes open. You see! I am not superstitious and don't believe in this."

我回忆起来玛丽亚所说的话之后，感觉奇怪：如果这是我以前想过的事，想象与现实混淆了，那不应该有我根本不知道的事。我回忆起了本书第2章中《桃花劫》的故事，是我妈妈给我讲的。她不记得 “前世姻缘，命中注定” 这八个字了。那玛丽亚说的这八个字是从哪里来的（注2）！？而且玛丽说的是英语，她的用词和我英语用词的习惯根本不一样。我回忆、分析刘团长已经五、六年没对我做过什么了，认为他真的已经过世了。

我认为刘团长真的早就过世了，心情很不好，两三天里像似病了一样。我怀疑刘健君收买了我的妻子，并委托人照顾我的孩子，我总发现他们在变化。

注10.1-2，环境形成后，相关的语言就会出现。在前文第2章，我两岁时听这样的词当然不理解，记忆也很少，但这时有了相关的环境，这词就冒出来了。

After I recalled what Marry said, felt strange: If this was something I had thought about before, and imagination was confused with reality, then there shouldn't be something I didn't know. I recalled the story of "Peach Flower Catastrophe" in Chapter 2 of this book, which my mother told me. She didn't remember the eight words “Former Generation's Marriage Factors, Predetermining Fate”. So where did Mary's eight words come from (Note 2)!? And Mary spoke English; her word usage was completely different from my English verbal habits. I recalled and analyzed that Troupe Leader Liu had not done anything to me for five or six years, thought he was dead.

I thought that Troupe Leader Liu had really passed away a long time ago. I was in a very bad mood and seemed to be sick for two or three days. I suspected that Eve Liu bribed my wife and entrusted someone to take care of my children. I always found that they were changing.

Note 10.1-2, after the environment is formed, the related language will appear. In the previous chapter 2, when I was two years old, I didn’t understand such words and I had very little memory, but now there is a related environment, so the words pop up.

 

10.2 大爆炸 Big Bang

一天下午，我忽然感觉肚子疼，怀疑大佛印那帮人（敌对势力）要杀我灭口，指使我同事在我喝的咖啡里下毒。我去警察局报警，警察看着我说，都没记录，没什么反应。我离开了警察局，想去医院；可我知道在医院排队看病要等十几个小时，实在是难熬，就回家了。

我一直想我和刘团长之间的事，认为自从2004年，他就没再来逗我玩了。我串联起了整个第2章《桃花劫》的故事（注，但还没有回忆出第1至3章的事），认为自己想明白了 “前世姻缘，命中注定” 这八个字。我一直对佛教的不见顶智（即上帝之眼）着迷，没想到刘团长用在我身上了。我觉得自己是个畜生，他那么大岁数了，快病死了，三番两次托人捎信让我去看他，而我像个活驴一样，无动于衷；自作孽，不可活！

One afternoon, I suddenly felt a stomach-ache and suspected that Dufferin gang (hostile forces) wanted to kill me and instruct my colleagues to poison my coffee. I went to the police station to report the case, but the police looked at me while I was talking; there is no record, no response. I left the police station and wanted to go to the hospital, but I knew that I would have to wait for more than ten hours to see a doctor in the hospital, which was unbearable, so I went home.

I have been thinking about what happened between me and Troupe Leader Liu, and I think he has not come to tease me since 2004. I have linked together the story of the entire Chapter 2 "Peach Blossom Catastrophe" (note, but I have not yet recalled the events of Chapters 1 to 3), and I think I have figured out the eight words “Former Generation’s Marriage Factors, Predetermining Fate”. I have always been fascinated by the Buddhist “intelligence of not seeing the top” (i.e. God's Eye), but I didn't expect Troupe Leader Liu to use it on me. I feel like a beast. He is so old and dying of illness. He repeatedly asked people to send me messages to visit him, but I was like a donkey, indifferent, self-inflicted sin, not deserving to live!

10.2-1 肠梗阻 Ileus

忽然，我感觉五脏六腑都在移动，身体里到处都是邪气乱窜。我小时候练过气功（参见第12章），对这种肢体的触觉幻觉不感觉奇怪，但这邪气发动的规模之大，程度之剧烈，让我震惊。我赶忙躺到了床上，以免晕倒。

我感觉到胸下出现一个隔截面（如插图10.2.1-A），上下不通气，胃肠不走动（注，现代医学称为肠梗阻）。我立刻调整呼吸，驱动真气沿着任脉向下冲击那个中截面。真气一接触那道截面，截面就溃散了。很快，那些邪气又变形重组，堵在胸口处（约在膳中穴，俗称中丹田）。我继续调整呼吸，用真气沿着任脉向下冲击堵在心窝处沉重阴冷的邪气。几分钟后，我打通了任脉，身体和胃肠的蠕动恢复了正常。我镇静下来后，心想：一时悸动，还真没遇见过；可不能再胡思乱想了！

Suddenly, I felt my internal organs moving, and “ill air” were running all over my body. I had practiced meditation when I was a child (see chapter 12), so I didn't find this kind of tactile hallucination strange, but the scale and intensity of the “ill air” shocked me. I quickly lay down on the bed to avoid fainting fall.

I felt a diaphragm section appear under my chest (as shown in Illustration 10.2.1-A), with no air circulation and gastrointestinal tract movement (note, this is called intestinal obstruction in modern medicine). I immediately adjusted my breathing and drove “True Air” down along the Ren Mai to impact the middle section. As soon as the “True Air” touched the section, the section collapsed. Soon, the “Ill Air” reshaped and reorganized, blocking the chest (about the Shan Zhong acupoint, commonly known as the middle Dantian). I continued to adjust my breathing and used the Qi (i.e., True Air) down along the Ren Mai to impact the heavy and cold evil Qi (i.e., Ill Air) blocking my chest. After a few minutes, I opened the Ren Mai, my body and the peristalsis of stomach returned to normal. After I calmed down, I thought to myself: I have never experienced such a temporary palpitation before; I can't let my imagination run wild!

10.2-2 大爆炸 Big Bang

过了一会儿，我不介意刚才发生的事了，又开始自责：我可真不是个东西，这不是人干的事儿。突然，我又感觉全身都有异动，赶忙平躺在床上了，全身的肉都有轻微的凹凸跳动的现象。凹凸跳动的现象有些加剧了。从命门穴（后腰两肾处），各发射出一股电弧的感觉沿着体表皮肤，像似水纹一样扩散；两股电弧在前腹处相撞了。接着，全身都有大小多个电圈套着肢体和整个身体上下移动，像似在做CT检查扫描一样，但我在经历的是多个电圈上下移动扫描我的身体。两只胳臂和两条腿分别有多个小电圈在上下移动扫描。突然，全身各处涌起气伴随着电流，以比读秒快几倍的速度，向丹田（如插图10.2.1-B）汇集。聚集在丹田后，立刻就爆炸了。随着爆炸，那些碎片气扩散到了全身各处。

After a while, I stopped caring about what happened and started to blame myself again: I am a piece of shit, this is not what a human being does. Suddenly, I felt something moving all over my body, and I quickly lay flat on the bed. My flesh was slightly bumpy and pulsating. The bumpy and pulsating phenomenon was a little more severe. From the Ming Men acupoint (the two kidneys in the lower back), a feeling of electric arcs was emitted along the skin surface, spreading like water ripples; the two arcs collided in the front abdomen. Then, there were multiple large and small electric circles all over my body, which were wrapped around my limbs and my entire body, moving up and down, just like a CT scan, but I was experiencing multiple electric circles moving up and down to scan my body. There were multiple small electric circles moving up and down on my two arms and two legs. Suddenly, Qi (i.e., Air) surged from all parts of my body, accompanied by electric currents, and gathered towards Dantian (as shown in illustration 10.2.1-B) at a speed several times faster than the countdown. After gathering in Dantian, it immediately exploded. With the explosion, the fragmented Qi (i.e., air) spread to all parts of my body.

我高幸地想：哎呀！大爆炸，百脉震开！我小时候在气功书上看过这种现象的描写，会百脉皆开。可是，正在发生的事情和传说的不一样。几秒后，整个身躯，包括脸部的肉都有明显的凹凸式上下跳动的现象，像似沸腾了着的水面；我的全身各处都在沸腾和震动。我对自己说：“镇静！沉住气！别慌！” 全身凸凹跳动的现象持续了几秒后，渐渐地平息了。这时我在床上平躺着，关注着全身各处的异动。

散布在全身各处的气变得清凉，随着流动在数百处小范围内聚集，并伴有电流、阴冷、凸凹地跳动的病气（或邪气）的感觉。我意识到了这不是好现象！不是书里描写的舒服，凉爽。我感觉那些迷走性风湿气中几十股大的，不走经脉，而是径直地走向心脏，一边移动一边还在汇集。有几股迷走性风湿气移动得很快，比如说，厘米每秒。

I thought happily: Oh my! Big explosion, all sutras (i.e., the lines in the acupuncture chart, see figs. 10.2.1) are shaken open! When I was a child, I read the description of this phenomenon in a meditation book, that all the sutras will be opened. However, what was happening was different from the legend. After a few seconds, the whole body, including the flesh on my face, had a clear bumpy up and down phenomenon, like the boiling water surface; my whole body was boiling and vibrating. I said to myself: "Calm down! Keep calm! Don't panic!" The bumpy and jumping phenomenon of the whole body continued for a few seconds, and gradually subsided. At this time, I was lying flat on the bed, paying attention to the abnormal movements of various parts of my body.

The air that was scattered all over the body became cool, and as it flowed, it gathered in hundreds of small areas, accompanied by the feeling of electric current, coldness, and uneven beating of diseased air (or evil air). I realized that this was not a good phenomenon! It was not the comfortable and cool feeling described in the book. I felt that dozens of large vagal rheumatic airs did not go through the sutras, but went straight to my heart, gathering as they moved. Some vagal rheumatic airs moved very fast, for example, centimeters per second.

我立刻紧张了，如果迷走性风湿气侵入心脏；心脏就是一团肌肉，若是这样怪异地颤抖，那不就是心肌梗塞吗！我小时候，听奶奶说过多次。她一次生气后，在外面树荫下睡着了。半梦半醒之间，她感觉像似有一股气流进了心脏。从那时起，她就患了心脏病。

保卫心脏，我立刻行动起来了，别的器官都管不了了。我开始用真气对离心脏近且移动速度快的迷走性风湿气进行攻击。好在，那些邪气流都很脆弱，一被真气碰到，就散了。很短的时间内，我就击溃了十几股迷走性风湿气流团。这时我发现，几股主要的风湿气移动得慢了，大部分风湿气不移动了。我镇静了下来。

I immediately became nervous. If the vagal rheumatic air invaded the heart, and the heart is a mass of muscle, if it trembled strangely like this, wouldn't it be a myocardial infarction!? I was having a Heart Attack! When I was a child, I heard my grandmother talk about these many times. Once she was angry and fell asleep under the shade of a tree outside. Between half asleep and half awake, she felt as if a stream of air entered her heart. From then on, she suffered from heart disease.

I immediately took action to protect my heart, ignoring other organs. I began to use my “true air” to attack the “vagal rheumatic air” that was close to my heart and moved quickly. Fortunately, those “evil airs” were very fragile, and they dispersed once they were touched by my “true air”. In a short period of time, I defeated more than a dozen “vagal rheumatic air” groups. At this time, I found that several major rheumatic airs moved slowly, and most of the rheumatic airs did not move. I calmed down.

注10.2.2 Note 10.2.2

插图10.2.1-2源自古墨西哥，表明古代的美洲有和中国类似的真气理论（即针灸和气功理论，参见第12章）。插图10.2.1-4是公元七世纪，帕卡尔王（Lord Pacal，亦作金童，特拉洛克，狮子王））的灵棺盖板，刻画了他堕入地狱的前因后果。图上部显示十字架或金刚剑插入了帕卡尔王的腹部，表示他被十字架钉住了，病危了。图底部他的狮子头正处于一个火匣子里，表示帕卡尔王堕入了 “火途” （即地狱，精神病）。火匣子上面是他的神父的棺材，表示帕卡尔王是被 “他神父过世” 的信息打入地狱的。棺材里是空的，只留下了尸体爆炸后遗留下来的三块儿残渣（即三块佛骨舍利，人骨），表明帕卡尔王听到他神父过世的消息后，体内发生了爆炸，所以他堕入了地狱，即患了精神病。棺材上面显示，一根射精的阴茎可以提起棺材，表示帕卡尔王和翠玉女（即玉女）的事实婚姻是治疗他的疾病的正确方法，可以使他脱离地狱。

Illustration 10.2.1-2 originated from ancient Mexico, indicating that ancient American had a similar theory of “true air” (i.e. acupuncture and meditation theory; cf. chapter 12) as Chinese. Illustration 10.2.1-4 is the coffin cover of Lord Pacal (aka. Gold Boy, Tlaloc, Jaguar) in the seventh century CE, depicting the cause and effect of his falling into hell. The upper part of the picture shows a cross or “philosopher-stone sword” inserted into his abdomen, indicating that he was crucified, was critically ill. At the bottom of the picture, his lion head is in a fire box, indicating that King Pakal fell into the "fire path" (i.e. hell, mental illness). Above the fire box is his godfather's coffin, indicating that King Pakal was sent to hell by the information that "his godfather had passed away". The coffin is empty, leaving only three pieces of residue left after the corpse exploded (i.e. three pieces of Buddha's bones, human bones), indicating that King Pakal's body exploded after hearing the news of his godfather's death, so he fell into hell, that is, he suffered from mental illness. The coffin is shown with an ejaculating penis that can lift the coffin, indicating that King Pakal's de facto marriage with Chalchiuhtlicue (aka. Jade Girl) is the right way to cure his illness and save him from hell.

10.2-3 我投降了 I surrendered.

我对刘团长对我做过什么感到迷惑；但我和他的矛盾是我不同意他的 “我卢岩是刘健君的丈夫” 的决定（参见8.2节《死不瞑目》）。我真气已经很少了（注，聚集和运送真气需要大量的体力和时间），可这时的我全身都是风湿气。我已经处于面对死亡的状态，投降了。

我跪在床上发誓： “刘健君是我的妻子；刘团长是我岳父；我会去追求她并和她结婚。” 我不断地叨咕着： “刘健君她爸是我的岳父，刘健君是我的媳妇。” 我知道誓言对人的思想有很强的统摄作用。这样出声地叨咕，有助于我集中思想和精力，对不让松散意识抵触和破坏我的主意识，消除心理矛盾大有好处。

I was confused about what Troupe Leader Liu had done to me; but the conflict between me and him was that I disagreed with his decision that "I, Luyan, is Eve Liu's husband" (cf. v. 8.2 "Die with Eyes Open"). I had very little “true air” left (note, gathering and transporting “true air” requires a lot of physical strength and time), but my whole body was full of rheumatism. I was already facing death, surrendered.

I knelt on the bed and swore: "Eve Liu is my wife; Troupe Leader Liu is my father-in-law; I will pursue her and marry her." I kept muttering: "Eve Liu's father is my father-in-law; Eve Liu is my wife." I know that oaths have a strong control over people's thoughts. Mumbling out loud like this helps me concentrate my thoughts and energy and is very helpful in preventing loose consciousness from conflicting and destroying my main consciousness and eliminating psychological contradictions.

我找出了我收藏的针灸经脉图。真气在经脉里会走得快，通畅和增强。我先在经脉图上筹划运气的路线，和打击风湿症的最短和最有力的角度，再运气发功对风湿症病处进行攻击。又击碎了几团风湿症后，我发现迷走性风湿症移动的速度变得更慢了。我沿着手少阴心经（如插图10.2.1-C）运气；用真气把心脏包裹了起来。这样，弱的迷走性风湿症不会有机会靠近心脏。

I found the acupuncture sutra map I collected. The “true air” will move faster, smoother and stronger in the sutras. I first planned the route of “true air” flow on the sutra map, the shortest and most powerful angle to hit the rheumatism, then used “true air” to attack the rheumatism. After breaking up a few more clusters of rheumatism, I found that the vagal rheumatism moved slower. I moved “true air” along the “Shou Shao Yin heart sutra” (as shown in Figure 10.2.1-C), wrapped my heart with “true airs”. In this way, the weak vagal rheumatism would not have the opportunity to get close to my heart.

这时，我认为自己必须吃好睡好，保持健康，才能与全身的迷走性风湿症对抗。如果我的身体健康变差了，就可能什么时候患了风湿性心脏病，死不了也成了废人。我向妻子和孩子做了生死离别，没明说，她们也不懂。我害怕睡梦里自己不知道保护心脏，所以睡觉前，洗了热水澡来平衡全身的体温，以减少做梦。我躺在床上，调息收敛思想，然后熄灭了前意识，把心身的控制权交给了无意识（古作神识）（参考案例1.4《井阳之灾》）。佛经上说，这种状态，人的愈合力极强，等同神佛。

At this time, I thought that I must eat well, sleep well, and stay healthy to fight against the vagal rheumatism in my body. If my physical health deteriorated, I might develop rheumatic heart disease at some point, and I would become a disabled person even if I didn't die. I said goodbye to my wife and children, but I didn't say it clearly, they didn't understand. I was afraid that I didn't know to protect my heart in my dreams, so before going to bed, I took a hot bath to balance the body temperature and reduce dreaming. I lay in bed, regulating my breathing and concentrating my intention, then extinguished the preconscious and handed over the control of the mind and body to the unconscious (anciently known as God-sense; reference case 1.4 Well-Sun Catastrophe). The Buddhist scriptures say that in this state, people have extremely strong healing power, equivalent to Gods and Buddhas.

注10.2.3 Note 10.2.3

前面三小节描述的病症在现代的医学中称作皈依失调（Conversion Disorder；如图10.2.3-1所示），是一种罕见的精神疾病。在随后几年与风湿症对抗的过程中，我不断地研究，现在认为此病是这样产生的。我从小就敬畏刘团长，想拜他为师（是一种连自己都不清楚知道的向往），第8章中，遇到刘健君后，更是对刘团长有了深刻的爱恨情仇。随后，我和刘团长的爱恨情仇又持续发展了六年，但我没见过他，所以在我的幻境中他就是一团白色迷雾。那迷雾是现量（参见11.4.5 识蕴 Sense Node），代表刘团长，是我对刘团长全部感情的和记忆的依附标的物。当我意识到他已经过世了，这信息被我的无意识（古作神识）接收到后，那团迷雾就消失了，因为无意识只处理现量，而刘团长不再是现量了。这样，我对刘团长的全部感情和记忆就失去了所依附的标的物，就引起了大混乱，产生了前文的“皈依失调症”。

The symptoms described in the previous three sections are called Conversion Disorder in modern medicine (as shown in Figure 10.2.3-1), which is a rare mental illness. In the process of fighting rheumatism in the following years, I continued to study and now believe that this disease is caused by this. I have been in awe of Troupe Leader Liu since I was a child and wanted to worship him as my teacher (a yearning that I don’t even know myself). In Chapter 8, after meeting Eve Liu, I had a deep “Gratitude Resentment Love and Hatred” relationship with Troupe Leader Liu. Subsequently, my “Gratitude Resentment Love and Hatred” relationship with Troupe Leader Liu continued to develop for another six years, but I never met him, so in my mind he was a ball of white mist. The mist is the “Present Quantity” (see 11.4.5 Sense Node), representing Troupe Leader Liu, and is the object of my attachment to all my feelings and memories of Troupe Leader Liu. When I realized that he had passed away, this information was received by my unconsciousness (anciently known as God-sense), the ball of mist disappeared, because the unconscious only processes “Present Quantity”, and Troupe Leader Liu is no longer the “Present Quantity”. In this way, all my feelings and memories towards Troupe Leader Liu lost their attachment, which caused great confusion and resulted in the "conversion disorder" mentioned above.

前面三小节描述的病症是癔症（古作鬼病）中的一种极端现象，称作圣鬼。插图10.2.3-2源自古墨西哥，是一位堕入地狱期间的特拉洛克（即金童）。雕像顶部是古墨西哥人对圣鬼的表述。雕像的正面，圣鬼正用许多代表迷走性风湿症的阴茎攻击特拉洛克。阴茎代表产生特拉洛克体内迷走性风湿症的原因是他和翠玉女（即玉女）的婚姻纠纷。插图10.2.3-3是佛教中的金刚降魔杵；其中（4）（8）（9）的顶端部是代表圣鬼的雕塑。圣鬼的本质是惭愧；面对刘团长，我总是惭愧，是罪人。

前面三小节描述 “死不瞑目”诅咒在我身上爆发的现象。后来我发现那和西方人所说的 “三个不可饶恕的诅咒” 的意义相同，知道了西方人所说的三个不可饶恕诅咒， “立毙咒，钻心咒，和夺魂咒” 正是对死不瞑目诅咒所产生的现象的描述。

The illness described in the previous three sections is an extreme form of Hysteria (anciently known as Ghost Illness), called the Holy Ghost. Illustration 10.2.3-2 is from ancient Mexico and is a Tlaloc (Gold Boy) who was in hell. The top of the statue is the ancient Mexican representation of the Holy Ghost. On the front of the statue, the Holy Ghost is attacking Tlaloc with many penises representing vagal rheumatism. The penises represent that the cause of vagal rheumatism in Tlaloc is his marriage dispute with Chalchiuhtlicue (Jade Girl). Illustration 10.2.3-3 is the “Philosopher-Stone Pestle” in Buddhism; the top of (4), (8), and (9) are sculptures representing the Holy Ghost. The essence of the Holy Ghost is shame; in front of Troupe Leader Liu, I always feel ashamed and am a sinner.

The first three sections describe the phenomena of the "Die with Eyes Open" curse erupting in me. Later I found that it had the same meaning as the "three unforgivable curses" mentioned by Westerners. I learned that the three unforgivable curses mentioned by Westerners, "Avada Kedavra, Imperius, and Cruciatus”, are exactly the descriptions of the phenomena caused by the “Die with Eyes Open”.

 

10.3 去找刘健君结婚 Went to Marry Eve Liu

大爆炸后的第二天早晨，我醒了，发现自己没死，很兴奋，感觉全身舒畅，思维敏捷，精力充沛，变得更加欢喜了。恰巧我哥哥从中国上海打来电话。谈了几句之后，他惊讶地对我说：“卢欣（我妹妹）说你病了，我不信，所以给你打电话了。听着！我不懂神精病，但我知道，你的声音变了，像似做了心脏搭桥手术似的。开始时我都没听出来是你。你的语速特别快，我是没数，但我估计着，你的语速比平时快50-80%。你说话也太快了，我都反应不过来。另外你现在异常兴奋。这些都是精神病的症状。你现在人在哪儿呢？”

我回答：“在家里的后院儿。”

哥哥立刻说：“那可不行！现在你这么兴奋，我是真不懂；但过一会儿你可能晕倒了呢！你撞了哪里，流血了，家里又没别人，那血就流干了，死了！赶紧回屋躺在床上。” 我向屋里走时，感觉身体渐渐地变得沉重了；全身又有了昨天的风湿症的感觉。哥哥在电话里说：“你的声音变回来了！慢慢地走，躺倒在床上。你赶紧回国吧！”

The morning after the explosion, I woke up and found that I was not dead, was very excited. I felt relaxed, my mind was sharp, and I was full of energy, became even happier. My brother happened to call me from Shanghai, China. After a few words, he said to me in surprise: "Xin Lu (my sister) said that you were sick, I didn't believe it, so I called you. Listen! I don't understand mental illness, but I know that your voice has changed, as if you had a heart bypass surgery. At first, I didn't recognize it as you. You speak very fast. I didn't count, but I estimated that your speed was 50-80% faster than usual. You speak too fast, I can't react. In addition, you are abnormally excited now. These are symptoms of mental illness. Where are you now?"

I answered, "In the backyard of my house."

Brother immediately said, "That won't do! I don't understand why you are so excited now, but you might faint in a while! If you hit something and bleed, there is no one else at home, the blood will dry up then you will die! Go back to the house and lie on the bed." As I walked into the house, I felt my body gradually become heavy; my whole body felt the rheumatism I had yesterday. My brother said on the phone, "Your voice has returned! Walk slowly and lie down on the bed. Go back China quickly!"

10.3-2 病态 Sickness

这时，我想着本书第2章《桃花劫》里算命先生的说法，“桃花运来了，谁也没办法，赶紧去娶人家的女儿入洞房，否则，你活不过一百天”。我认为自己只有一百天的寿命了，开始办签证，准备回国找刘健君结婚。我这是依照本书2.4节的说法， “被人家用死不暝目诅咒了，死不了也活不长；解法就是照着人家下咒人的愿望去做。” 这时，我并不真正地懂得《桃花劫》的道理。

这时，我怀疑所有的人。我去领事馆办签证时，认为刘健君派人暗中帮助我。飞机上，我认为刘健君安排人在暗示我：如何保护我自己的心脏。那时，我时刻精神内敛，注意着自己体内风湿症的走动，不停地用真气包裹着心脏，驱赶着风湿症。

At this time, I thought about what the fortune teller said in Chapter 2 of this book, "Peach Flower Catastrophe", "When ‘peach flower fortune’ comes, no one can stop it, hurry up and marry the man's daughter into the bridal chamber, otherwise, you will not live for more than a hundred days." I thought I only had a hundred days to live, so I started to apply for a visa and prepare to return to China to marry Eve Liu. I was following the statement in Section 2.4 of this book, "If someone curses you with ‘Die with Eyes Open’, you will not live long even you didn’t die instantly; the only solution is to do what the person who cursed you wishes." At this time, I did not really understand the theory of Peach Flower Catastrophe.

At this time, I suspected everyone. When I went to the consulate to apply for a visa, I thought Eve Liu sent someone to help me secretly. On the plane, I thought Eve Liu arranged for someone to hint me how to protect my own heart. At that time, I was always introverted, paying attention to the movement of rheumatism in my body, and constantly wrapping my heart with “true airs” to drive away rheumatism.

10.3-3 癔症 Hysteria

大爆炸发生两三天后，我怀疑那是癔症（Hysteria）。癔症就是不能正确理解第12章中的幻觉现象，认为那是鬼灵精怪或外星生物，又常常琢磨，就与那些他或她认为的鬼灵精怪的幻觉现象建立了联系。若认为对方有恶意，便生惶惑。常常回忆那些现象会招致那些幻觉再现，于是惑又生恐，恐又生惑，思想身体经历相互呼应，就走入了极端，患上了癔症。癔症古作鬼病，是因为古人以过去为阴，未来为阳，而且那些幻觉与过去的经历相关，所以称幻境为阴间。阴，佛教中作蕴，所以尘世的鬼怪佛教中亦作蕴魔。

癔症的治疗办法就是正确理解那些幻觉的现象和本质。我年轻时练习气功（参见第12章），就懂那些现象，认为自己对癔症免疫。我开始测试那些风湿症是否是幻觉，测试他们与意识的相应关系。得出的结论是没关系，那风湿症确实是大爆炸，那次超大规模的触觉幻觉遗留下来的后遗症，是真实的身体上的病症。

Two or three days after the Big Bang, I suspected that it was hysteria. Hysteria is the inability to correctly understand the hallucinations in Chapter 12, thinking that they are ghosts or alien creatures, and often thinking about them can establish a connection with those ghosts and hallucinations that he or she thinks are ghosts or aliens. If you think that the component has malicious intentions, you will be confused. Frequently recalling those phenomena will cause those hallucinations to reappear, so confusion will lead to fear, and fear will lead to confusion. The thoughts and body experiences echo each other, then they go to extremes and suffer from hysteria. Hysteria, anciently called as Ghost Disease, because the ancients viewed the past as Gloominess and the future as Light; and that those hallucinations relate to the past experiences, so call the hallucinations as Netherworld. Netherworld, in Buddhism, is called Node World, so those hallucinations can be called “Node Demons”.

The cure for hysteria is to correctly understand the phenomena and nature of those hallucinations. Because I practiced Meditation (cf. chapter 12) when I was young, I understood those phenomena and thought I was immune to hysteria. I began to test whether those rheumatisms were hallucinations, testing their correspondence with intention. The conclusion reached was that it was not correlated, that that rheumatism was indeed the aftermath of the Big Bang, the legacy of that super-massive tactile hallucination, and that rheumatism was a real physical ailment.

10.3-4寻香 Seeking-Incense

2011年10月，我回到了沈阳父母家，我妈妈在中国医科大学精神病院院长王哲教授的指导下，偷偷地把利培酮口服液参进了我的饮食里。利培酮对我有很多副作用，随着药剂量的加大，我觉得全身每一个器官都有功能上的毛病，全身难受。每天我都睡15个小时以上，除了有时运气向体外排泄风湿气，没什么别的精力了。我要找刘健君，和她结婚，让她爸爸瞑目；可我说话没逻辑，家人都认为我在说疯话，没人帮我，什么事也没干成。

仿佛听说，他们询问了，说是有刘团长那么个人，神叨叨的，早就过世了。我说的那个祝老师也已经过世了。我委托妹妹打听几个人，回复说，“问了，没找到。” 有的，回电话的人说，“没那个人！”

In October 2011, I returned to my parents' home in Shenyang, where my mother secretly entered oral risperidone into my diet under the guidance of Prof. Wang Zhe, director of the psychiatric hospital at China Medical University. Risperidone has many side effects on me. As the dosage increases, I feel that every organ in my body has functional problems, and I feel uncomfortable all over. I sleep more than 15 hours a day. Except for sometimes using my “true air” to excrete rheumatic gas from my body, I have no energy for anything else. I want to find Eve Liu, marry her, and let her father rest in peace; but my words are illogical, and my family thinks I am talking nonsense. No one helps me, therefore have not accomplished anything.

I seem to have heard that they asked about this person, Troupe Leader Liu, who was a mysterious person and had passed away a long time ago. The Teacher Zhu I was talking about had also passed away. I asked my sister to ask a few people, and she replied, "I asked, but didn't find him." “Yes, the person who answered the phone said, ’There is no such person!’"

注10.3.4 寻香是什么意思？Note 10.3.4, what does "seeking incense” mean?

在中华文化中，“寻香”在凡间的含义是“众灵”前往器世间投生为人、为狗等。“寻香”的香字义为女戒的“五百威仪十万八千魅力”比男戒的“三千威仪八万四千细行”（参见16.2节）多出来的部分，义为玉女的美德熏于四方。本书中作者我从堕入地狱开始直到我和刘健君结婚，就是一位寻香。因为玉女（女神）的外貌是无记性的，现在我的头脑中没有刘健君的外表形象，我辨别她就是靠辨别她的“戒香”（即五百威仪十万八千魅力）。插图10.3-1是《墨西哥法典》（参见15.4节）中雨劫阶段（即寻香阶段）的墨西哥。他要找的是图1中的那个很大的女人，即地表女神翠玉女（即夏娃，如图2所示）。

In Chinese culture, in the mortal world, the meaning of “seeking incense” is the “crowd of spirits” going to rebirth becoming a human, a dog, etc. in the vessel world. The word "incense" in "seeking incense" means the extra part of the "500 Majesties 108,000 Charms" of the woman precepts compared to the "3,000 Majesties 84,000 Enchantments” of man precepts (see Section 16.2), which means that the virtues of the Jade Girl’s (Goddess’) precept fragrance smoking to four directions. In this book, I am a being who “seeks incense” from the time I fell into hell until I married Eve Liu. Because the appearance of the Jade Girl (Goddess) is memoryless, I don't have her bodily appearance in my mind now, and only I can identify her by identifying her "precept incense" (that is, 500 Majesties 108,000 Charms). Illustration 10.3-1 is Mexico during the rain catastrophe stage (i.e. the stage of seeking incense) in Mexican Codex (see section 15.4). He is looking for the big woman in Figure 1, the earth surface Goddess, Chalchiuhtlicue (i.e. Eve, as shown in Figure 2).

10.3-5 研究精神病 Study Psychosis

两周后，我的心情有些安静了，去书店买了中医针灸教材，开始按照真气的流注方向，引导全身的真气运行。风湿症暂时控制住了。一个月后，父母兄妹都说我疯了，而且他们在我的饮食里放了药。我不相信，也不认为自己病了；可家人都这么说，让我吃药，我也只能顺从了。找刘健君的念头渐渐地淡了。

我小时候，梁伯姨父跟我说过多次，医院85-95%的精神病医生不懂精神病，所以我不信任精神病医生，就自己买了几本心理学的书。随后多年，我逐渐地相信了刘团长、刘建君、和那个精神病爱好者前女友的说法（参见4.8，7.5.1，和8.7节） ，有了自己的精神病治疗原则（参见10.6节）。

Two weeks later, I felt a little calmer, went to a bookstore and bought some Chinese medicine and acupuncture textbooks. I began to guide the flow of “true air” throughout my body according to the direction of “true air” flow. The rheumatism was temporarily under control. A month later, my parents, brothers and sisters all said I was crazy, and they put medicine in my diet. I didn't believe it, and I didn't think I was sick; but my family said so and asked me to take medicine, so I had to obey. The idea of ??looking for Eve Liu gradually faded.

When I was a child, Uncle Liang told me many times that 85-95% of psychiatrists in hospitals do not understand mental illness, so I did not trust psychiatrists and bought a few psychology books myself. In the following years, I gradually believed what Troupe Leader Liu, Eve Liu, and the ex-girlfriend who was a psychiatric enthusiast said (cf. vs. 4.8, 7.5.1, and 8.7), developed my own principles for treating mental illness (cf. v. 10.6).

10.3-6 巴甫洛夫楼 Pavlov Building

妹妹安排我和王哲教授见面。我请他帮忙找刘健君；他认为找她没用。但是，刚见面时，我听说他是医大的，随口问了句：“你知道巴甫洛夫楼不？” 他听了，愣住了，站了起来，思索了很久说：“我知道！可那时我只是个研究生，没资格进那个楼。” 事后，我回忆起了他的怪异，在互联网上查找，发现了1950年代中国关于医学哲学的争议。中国传统的医学全是唯心主义的，对马克思主义是否适用于医学进行了辩论。

注10.3-6，我在2014年写回忆录时注意到了此事，联想起了3.4节《巴甫洛夫楼》中梁伯出差到医大的巴甫洛夫楼，又联想起了7.4节《刘健君给我的印象》中刘健君特别告诉我这栋楼，我得出了结论：巴甫洛夫楼就是4.5节《真人医学实验报纸新闻》中所说的女子组集中培训的地方。

My sister arranged a meeting between me and Prof. Wang Zhe. I asked him to help me find Eve Liu. He thought it would be useless to find her. However, when we first met, I heard that he was from the China Medical University and casually asked, "Do you know the Pavlov Building?" When he heard that, he froze, stood up, thought for a long time, and said, "I know! But at that time, I was just a graduate student, not qualified to enter that building." Afterward, I recalled his weirdness, looked it up on the Internet, and discovered a controversy about the philosophy of medicine in China in the 1950s. Traditional Chinese medicine was all about Theism, and there was a debate about the applicability of Marxism to medicine.

Note 10.3-6, I noticed this when I was writing my memoirs in 2014. It reminded me of Section 3.4 "Pavlov Building" where Uncle Liangwas on a business trip to the Medical University's Pavlov Building and reminded me of Section 7.4 "My Impression of Eve Liu", where she specifically told me about this building. I concluded that Pavlov Building is the place where the girl group was trained in Section 4.5 "Newspaper News of Real-Life Medical Experiments".

10.3-7 病情没好转 No Improvement in Condition

在2012年3月，我回到了多伦多，开始学习心理学和精神病学。不久，我进了SPL Consultants Ltd工作。这时，我仍有妄想、敌视、怀疑等症状；在本质上，病情没有好转。

在2012年春有冰雨，我家后院的桃树没开花。几十年来第一次，我的脸上没长桃花藓。

In March 2012, I returned to Toronto and began studying psychology and psychiatry. Shortly after, I went to work for SPL Consultants Ltd. At this time, I was still experiencing delusions, hostility, and skepticism; in essence, my schizophrenia was not getting better.

In the spring of 2012, there was freezing rain and the peach tree in my backyard did not bloom. For the first time in decades, I didn't have “peach flower tinea” on my face.

 

10.4 刘团长的遗言 Troupe Leader Liu’s Will

二零一二年我在SPL Consultants Ltd工作期间，总是怀疑刘健君在背后指使人与我作对，认为她在继续她爸爸的灵魂转世实验。我不明白灵魂转世是怎么回事，但我听说过：这种作法，失败了，被作法的人必死。我认为只有诸佛（成熟的人）的灵魂是一样的，也就是说作法的人必须是佛，而被作法的人必须成佛，才能完成灵魂转世，避免一死。我开始有意地学习佛法。可是，什么是灵魂？什么是佛？什么是灵魂转世？我都不知道，只是盲目地学习佛法，试着写一本关于《禅》的佛学书。

When I was working at SPL Consultants Ltd in 2012, I always suspected that Eve Liu was behind the scenes instigating people to oppose me and believed that she was continuing her father's soul reincarnation experiment. I don't understand what soul reincarnation all is about, but I've heard about it: this kind of practice, if it fails, the person being polished dies. I thought that only the souls of the Buddhas (mature people) were the same, which meant that the person performing the reincarnation doings had to be a Buddha, and the person being polished had to become a Buddha to complete the reincarnation and avoid death. I began to study Buddhism intentionally, but what is the soul? What is the Buddha? What is reincarnation? I didn't know any of it, I just studied Buddhism blindly and tried to write a Buddhist book on meditation.

我患了胃肠溃疡，时常肚子疼，总是喝大量的水来冲淡有刺激的胃肠分泌，以避免胃肠表面被灼伤，和疏通瘴气。2012年夏，一次喝了大量的热水，水不很热，但喝的量大，所以胃肠被烫伤了。我试着混合凉水和热水，用手指试水温来发现合适喝的温度，发现手指有点凉的感觉才适合。这时，我忽然想起了梁伯姨父在1991年给我留遗言时对我说的话： “记住！温水，手指的感觉有点儿凉是适合喝的温度（参见4.10节《遗嘱》）。” 这时，我意识到了那是刘团长留给我的遗嘱。

I suffer from gastrointestinal ulcers and have stomach pains from time to time and always drink plenty of water to flush out irritating gastrointestinal secretions to avoid burning the surface of stomach and intestines and to unblock the miasma. In the summer of 2012, I drank a lot of hot water at once. The water was not very hot, but I drank a lot, so my stomach and intestines were burned. I tried to mix cold water and hot water and used my fingers to test the water temperature to find the right temperature for drinking. I found that it was suitable when my fingers felt a little cool. At this time, I suddenly remembered what Uncle Liangsaid to me when he left me a will in 1991: "Remember! Warm water, the temperature that your fingers feel a little cool is the right temperature for drinking (see Section 4.10 "Will")." At this time, I realized that it was the will left to me by Troupe Leader Liu.

第一条遗嘱是个古代的故事。一个人得了渴病，需要不停地喝水。大量的水可以缓解他的病症，延续他的生命。这个人总是随身带着两桶水，用扁担挑着走，以便随时有水喝。每到一个村子或者新的地方，他都先找井。在井边喝完水后，再装满两只水桶，然后挑着两桶水再继续赶路。我明白了，刘团长有计划地陷害了我，这就是证据。我被气得发晕。此后，我时常在喝水的时候，想起他对我的细心关怀。

The first will is an ancient story. A man used to be sick with thirst and needed to drink water constantly. A large amount of water would relieve his illness and extend his life. This man always carried two buckets of water with him and carried them on a flat stretcher so that he would always have water to drink. Whenever he arrived at a village or a new place, he first looked for a well. After drinking at the well, he would then fill up the two buckets and pick the two buckets before continuing his journey. I realized that Troupe Leader Liu had systematically set me up, and this is the proof. I was so furious that I was dizzy. After that, when I was drinking water, I often thought of his careful attention to me.

注10.4-1，插图10.4.1-3是一位寻香（即雨劫中的墨西哥，又名特拉洛克，金童，狮子，约活跃于公元1325年）。他的右肩上的绿色条纹表示不断地有水流流进他的身体。图3上部的组合表示他的生命悬系于不断地喝大量的水来稀释刺激性的胃肠分泌。

Note 10.4-1, Illustration 10.4.1-3 is a “Seeking Incense” (i.e., Mexico in the Rain Catastrophe, a.k.a. Tlaloc, Gold Boy, and Jaguar, who was active circa C.E. 1325). The green stripe on his right shoulder indicates the constant flow of water into his body. The combination in the upper part of Figure 3 indicates that his life hangs in the balance of constantly drinking large quantities of water to dilute the irritating gastrointestinal secretions.

10.4-2 灌顶 Anointing

2012年冬，我从SPL辞职了，在家编写《四圣谛》（参见第13至16章）。2013年夏， 我的风湿症变严重了，很悲观，认为如果我病了，身体虚弱了，风湿病就会令我丧命。我用气功运气治疗风湿，可是真气少，力量弱。

一天，我悲观消极地回忆着刘团长在世时，有他的照顾，我工作在哪里都受到重用。他过世后六、七年了，我混得什么都不是，眼泪不断地流出来。我一边哭，一边运气治疗自己的风湿症，忽然感觉头顶百会穴位（参见插图10.4.2-2）有气流像似涌泉一样强烈。我开始正式一边哭一边练习气功了。强烈温暖的真气流像似瀑布一样从头顶流下来，所到之处，一些风湿就好了。

In the winter of 2012, I resigned from SPL and stayed at home to write my book of Four Cruxes (see chapters 13 to 16). In the summer of 2013, my rheumatism became more serious, and I became very pessimistic, thinking that if I became sick and weak, rheumatism would kill me. I used meditation to treat rheumatism, but I had little “true airs” and their powers was weak.

One day, I was pessimistic and negative, recalling that when Troupe Leader Liu was alive, he took care of me, and I was highly utilized wherever I worked. Six or seven years after his death, I was a nobody, and tears kept flowing out of my eyes. While crying, I was practicing meditation to treat my rheumatism. Suddenly I felt a strong flow of “true air” like a gushing spring at the Bai Hui Cave (see Illustration 10.4.2-2) on the top of my head. I began to formally practice meditation while crying. The strong and warm “true airs” fell from the top of my head like a waterfall, and wherever it passed, some rheumatism was cured.

我意识到了，这是慈悲喜舍，此四无量心的力量。我一看时间，是正午，明白了，子午卯酉是练气功的好时间。这时的气感强烈，是因为我的悲伤和此时正是中午。我为自己设计了 “活出丧” 。中午家里没人时，我在后院烧我自己的工程资料、书籍等，来祭奠那个一心想当工程师的卢岩死了，营造悲、舍的心情。同时，我意识内敛在头顶的百会穴，用灌顶来治疗风湿症。

随后，我在打坐运气治疗风湿时，也放悲伤的音乐。就这样，逐渐地，我身上的风湿得到了治疗和控制。几天后，只有后背的膏肓、神堂、嘻嘻三处穴位（参见插图10.4.2.4-2，3，4）治不好。

I realized that it was Mercifulness Sorrowfulness Delightfulness and Renunciation, the power of these four infinite hearts. I looked at the time, it was noon and realized that Zi Wu Mao You (those are midnight, morning 6 o’clock, noon, and evening 6 o’clock) are good times to practice meditation. The strong “true air” at this time was due to my sadness and the fact that it was noon. I designed a “living funeral” for myself. At noon, when no one was home, I burned my own engineering books in the backyard to pay tribute to the death of Luyan, who had wanted to be an engineer, to create a feeling of renunciation and sadness. At the same time, I internalized my intention at the Bai Hui cave on the top of my head to treat rheumatism with anointing.

Subsequently, I also played sad music while meditating for treating rheumatism. In this way, gradually, the rheumatism in my body was treated and controlled. After a few days, only the three acupoints on my back, namely, Gaohuang, Shentang, and Xixi (see figs 10.4.2.4-2, 3, 4)) could not be cured.

注10.4-2 Note 10.4-2

二零一四年，我写完《卢岩的回忆录》后研究这条 “足太阳膀胱经” （如图10.4.2-4）。从名字来看，这条经脉主宰阳纲之气。刘团长在我的后背上插了三支金刚降魔杵（如图3），或说刻下了六个字：膏肓，神堂，和嘻嘻。根据造字法，膏肓义为无药可医的死肉。神堂义为上帝的法庭。嘻嘻是前意识适悦的声音。前意识古作夏娃识。我的嘻嘻穴被锁死了，是因为刘健君（玉女，女神，夏娃）对我生气。欢乐的玉女是福，悲伤的玉女是殃，所以我的喜根（即嘻嘻穴）被锁死了。我没办法运用四无量心中的喜心来完全治疗我的风湿症。

In 2014, after I finished writing "Luyan's Memoirs", I studied this "foot sun bladder sutra" (see fig. 10.4.2-4). Judging from the name, this sutra dominates the “Godly Leading Air”. Troupe Leader Liu inserted three “Philosopher-Stone Pestles” (see figs. 3) into my back, or rather carved six hieroglyphics on my back: Gaohuang, Shentang, and Xixi. According to the method of creating hieroglyphics, Gaohuang means dead meat that cannot be cured by medicine. Shentang means the court of God. Xixi is the pleasant sound of the preconscious. The preconscious was called Eve-sense in ancient times. My Xixi cave was locked because Eve Liu (Jade Girl, Goddess, Eve) was angry with me. A happy Jade Girl is a Fortune, and a sad Jade Girl is a Misfortune, so my “Delight Root” (i.e. Xixi acupoint) was locked. I couldn't use the “Delight Heart” of the four infinite hearts to completely cure my rheumatism.

插图5是雨劫中的墨西哥，又名金童，特拉洛克，美洲狮，就是中华神话中的哪吒。他的右脚被画成了一面 “常常冒烟的镜子” ，表示他的神足有缺失。因为他以前和翠玉女打架，把女神气哭了，所以他的喜根（即嘻嘻穴）被锁死了。 “常常冒烟” 表示他常常对此生气，因为 “喜根” 被锁死了，没有喜，所以他不能自己治愈他的病；或说因为没有喜，他不能自己从地狱里爬上来。“镜子” 表示他从此事懂得了女神。左脚下的轮子表示他的生命悬系于不断地朝着他和翠玉女的婚姻结合前进。在《墨西哥法典》（参见15.4节）雨劫就是这样定义的，因为墨西哥心中的翠玉女常常哭泣，所以墨西哥的世界里常常下雨。

Illustration 5 is Mexico in the rain catastrophe, also known as the Gold Boy, Tlaloc, and the Jaguar, which is the Nezha in Chinese mythology. His right foot is painted as a "mirror that often smokes", indicating that his divine foot is defective. Because he had a fight with the Jade Girl (Chalchiuhtlicue) before, which made the goddess cry, his delight root (i.e. Xixi acupoint) was locked. "Often smoking" means that he is often angry about this, because the "delight root" is locked, without delight, he cannot cure his illness by himself; or because he has no Delight, he cannot climb out of hell by himself. "Mirror" means that he understands Goddess from this incident. The wheel under Mexico’s left foot indicates that his life hangs on moving constantly toward his marital union with Chalchiuhtlicue (the Jade Girl). In the Mexican Codex (cf. section 15.4) “Rain Catastrophe” is defined in this way, as it often rains in the Mexican world because the Jade Girl (Chalchiuhtlicue) of the Mexican heart often weeps.

 

10.5 宿命通 Fate Through

2014年春，我完成了用英语编写的四圣谛，本书13到16章的雏形，可是没地方发表，实际也是写得不好。我从中学到了很多佛学知识，为后来的学习和觉悟奠定了基础。

我回忆并回去参观了我来加拿大后居住和工作过的地方，发现那里的人都和我刚来加拿大时一样，还是那样的表情，那样的行为和工作方式。我明白了：世界没变，是我自己变了。我觉得自己的心病好了，可以工作了。

前几年的疯狂经历让我体会了客观环境受主观心性增上的现象。业是身、口、意行为的积累，即身口意的习气。业由心造，境随业转。心有净染，故境有自在及不自在。染心为业所拘，则境不能自在。净心无所挂碍，则境随心自如。天见宝严之地，而鱼见乃为窟宅；人见是清凉水，鬼见是脓河猛火，皆由业因差殊。

In the spring of 2014, I completed the Four Cruxes in English, a prototype of chapters 13 through 16 in this book, but there was no place to publish it, and it was poorly written. I learned a lot about Buddhism and laid the foundation for later study and enlightenment.

I reminisced and went back to visit the places where I had lived and worked since I came to Canada and realized that the people there were the same as they had been when I first came to Canada, still looked the same, acted the same, and worked the same way. I realized: the world hadn't changed; it was me who had changed. I felt that my mental illness has been cured and I can work again.

The crazy experiences of the past years have made me realize the phenomena that the objective environment is affected by the subjective heart (i.e. mind). Karma is the accumulation of behavioral habits of body, speech and heart, that is, the habits of body, speech and heart. Karma is created by the heart, and the environment changes with karma. The heart is maculate or immaculate, so the environment is self-sufficiency and being detained. The maculate heart is detained by karma, then environment can’t be self-sufficient. Immaculate heart has nothing to worry and hinder, then environment goes along heart as it is. God sees a precious majestic land, while fish see it as a ruined house; people see it as cool water, while ghosts see it as a pus river and fierce fire, all due to the difference of karmic reasons.

10.5-2 宿命通 Fate Through

二零一四年五月，我到Thurber Engineering Ltd工作。没几天，我就听到了这个工作是我以前Davroc的老板桫椤给我联系的。一个月后，工作和生活中，我又认为刘健君在背后和我做对了。有些工地的场景让我触景生情，偶尔感觉肚子里到处都在动，偶尔感觉肚子疼。这让我感到解决和刘健君的恩怨情仇已经迫在眉睫。

我的情绪变得很不稳定，想起过去的高兴事就笑，又想起来过去的伤心事就流泪。一天，在公司的实验室里，我在检测材料样品，一个同事突然兴奋地从高处跳跑过我的背后。我大吃一惊，被吓得头发都立起来了，说话声音也变了。在那惊诧的一瞬间，我仿佛听见刘团长在另外一个房间里谈论我，在向别人介绍我在想什么。我回忆起了我约一岁时，刘团长为我蒙眼睛时的景象，回忆起了那时我和刘健君定亲的事（参见第一章的《娃娃婚约》）。

In May 2014, I started working at Thurber Engineering Ltd. A few days later, I heard that my former boss at Davroc, Sal Fasullo, had helped me for this job. A month later, at work and in life, I thought that Eve Liu was doing something behind my back. Some scenes at the construction site made me emotional, and sometimes I felt my stomach moving all over the place, and sometimes I felt a stomach-ache. This made me feel that it was urgent to resolve the gratitude resentment love and hatred disputes between Eve Liu and me.

My mood became very unstable. I would laugh when I thought of happy affair in the past, and cry when I thought of sad affair in the past. One day, in the company's laboratory, I was testing material samples, and a colleague suddenly jumped from a high place excitedly and ran behind me. I was shocked, my hair stood up, and my voice changed. In that moment of surprise, I seemed to hear Troupe Liu talking about me in another room, introducing what I was thinking to others. I recalled the scene when he blindfolded me when I was about one year old and recalled the engagement between me and Eve Liu at that time (see “Children Marriage Contract" in Chapter 1).

后来，我仔细辨认，觉得那个声音不是刘团长的。我从小就在找他。在我六七岁的时候，我以为我奶奶的一个侄子是刘团长，我听到的声音就是他的声音。十几岁的时候，我发现我要找的人并不是他。那时，不知道为什么，我就是觉得自己在找一个人。后来，我一心想找一位在沈阳的大神级算命先生，并且拜他为师。1996 年，我遇到了刘健君，就知道了我要找的人是她爸爸（即刘团长）。但那时，我并不记得我在约一岁时已经和她订婚的事。我甚至不知道自己为什么要找一个人，要找谁，又怎么知道她爸爸就是我要找的人？我找她爸爸只是一种无意识的兴趣感觉。我是从和刘健君的谈话（参见7.5节）知道她爸爸懂佛教的。

Later, I carefully identified the voice and felt that it was not Troupe Leader Liu's. I have been looking for him since I was a child. When I was six or seven years old, I thought one of my grandmother's nephews was Troupe Leader Liu, and the voice I heard was his voice. When I grew up to a teenager, I found that the person I was looking for was not him. At that time, I didn’t know why, but I just felt that I was looking for someone. Later, I was determined to find a great fortune teller in Shenyang and worship him as my teacher. In 1996, I met Eve Liu and knew that the person I was looking for was her father (that is, Troupe Leader Liu). But at that time, I didn’t remember that I was engaged to her when I was about one year old. I didn’t even know why I was looking for someone, who I was looking for, and how did I know that her father was the person I was looking for? I was looking for her father just out of an unconscious interest. I knew that her father understood Buddhism from my conversation with Eve Liu (see Section 7.5).

注10.5-2 Note 10.5-2

回忆出了三岁之前的事，我就觉悟到了刘团长留给我的宿命任务，即完成此实验的《实验报告》。实验内容参见4.5《真人医学实验的报纸新闻》。这在佛教里叫宿命通。这很难，因为人在3岁左右时，随着语言能力的形成，记忆模式和记忆提取模式都发生了变化，正常的人都不能回忆出3岁以前的事；但在精神病人中回忆出三岁之前事的不罕见。

古墨西哥人用尖顶帽（有山的含义）来表示 “宿命通”的困难和重要意义（如图10.5）。图2是一位在地狱（即患有精神病）的特拉洛克（又名金童，美洲狮）。手中拖着个孩子，表示他回忆出了约一岁时，他的神父给他做肉眼通（参见第3章），使他患上了 “婴幼儿神经发育失调症” （如图4所示）。

After recalling the affairs before my age of three, I realized the fate mission that Troupe Leader Liu had left for me, which was to complete the "Experimental Report". For the content of the experiment, please refer to section 4.5 "Newspaper News of Real Human Medical Experiments". This is called “Fate Through” in Buddhism. This is difficult because when people are about 3 years old, as language ability is formed, memory patterns and memory retrieval patterns change. Normal people cannot recall affairs before the age of 3; but it is not uncommon for mental patients to recall affairs before the age of three.

Ancient Mexicans used pointed hat (with meaning of mountain) to represent the difficulty and significance of “Fate Through” (see Figure 10.5). Figure 2 shows Tlaloc (also known as Gold Boy, Jaguar) in hell (i.e. suffering from mental illness). He is holding a child in his hand, indicating that he recalls that when he was about one year old, his godfather made him “flesh eye through” (see chapter 3), which caused him to suffer from “infant neurodevelopmental disorder” (see Figure 4).

图3是雕像2的侧面。左面，特拉洛克在他神父的怀里取暖表示他接受了他的神父，接受了人神契约（参见16.2节）。右侧头顶着无字墓碑的人是古代的特拉洛克。特拉洛克在古代特拉洛克的怀里取暖，表示他已经意识到了自己是金童（即新的特拉洛克），发现了自己前世的足迹，知道了自己的宿命。

Figure 3 is a side view of statue 2. On the left, Tlaloc warms himself in the arms of his godfather, indicating that he has accepted his godfather and the contract between man and God (see Section 16.2). The person on the right with the wordless tombstone on his head is the ancient Tlaloc. Tlaloc warms himself in the arms of the ancient Tlaloc, indicating that he has realized that he is a Gold Boy (i.e. a new Tlaloc), has discovered the footprints of his previous life, and knows his fate.

10.5-3 更多证据 More Evidence

2014年6月，我决定第四次专程回国去找刘健君。回国前，我和朋友肖汉杰谈起了1996-1997年，我在东北大学时的事（参见8.4节）。那时他是东北大学机械系的老师。他惊讶地说： “哎呀！那时候我就听说你们研究生宿舍那儿有人琢磨人（注，义为上帝在打磨它选中的人）。十来年了，我都不知道。原来那个被琢磨的人就是你！你疯得和别人不一样！你回去，找着那帮人，把事情说清楚，病就好了。”

我回到沈阳父母家后，妈妈和妹妹帮我联系了沈阳炮兵学院刚卸任的王校长。他说我说的那位祝老师，即前文第7章中我和刘健君的介绍人，早就移民加拿大了，而且他早就过世了。王校长说，他们学校以前，就只有一位校长姓刘；我所说的刘校长（即刘团长）与他们学校的刘校长不符。人家是高级干部，情况不符，不能透漏消息。他还说，那位刘校长早就过世了，他没听说他的女儿拿了全额奖学金去美国读博士。他在这学校已经三十多年了，如果有这事，他应该听说了。王校长还说，我是被骗了，是别人冒充了他们的刘校长。

In June 2014, I decided to return to China for the fourth time to look for Eve Liu. Before returning to China, my friend Hanjie Xiao and I talked about my time at Northeastern University in 1996-1997 (see Section 8.4). At that time, he was a teacher in the Department of Mechanical Engineering at Northeastern University. He was surprised and said, "Oh! At that time, I heard that someone was polishing people (note, meaning that God was polishing the people had been chosen) in your graduate dormitory. It has been more than ten years, and I didn't know. It turns out that the person being polished is you! Your psychosis is different from others! Go back, find those people, explain the affair clearly, and your illness will be cured."

After I returned to my parents' home in Shenyang, my mother and sister helped me contact the recently discharged Principal Wang of the Shenyang Artillery Academy. He said that the Teacher Zhu I mentioned, the introducer of Eve Liu and I in Chapter 7, had long since immigrated to Canada, and that he had long since passed away. Principal Wang said that their school had only one principal with the surname Liu before; the Principal Liu I mentioned (that is, Troupe Leader Liu) was not the same as the Principal Liu of their school. He was a senior cadre, and the situation did not match, so the news could not be disclosed. He also said that Principal Liu had long since passed away, and he had not heard that his daughter had received a full scholarship to study for a doctorate in the United States. He had been in this school for more than 30 years, and if this had happened, he should have heard about it. Principal Wang also said that I was deceived, and that someone else had impersonated their Principal Liu.

10.5-4 部分核实了我的回忆录Partially Verified my Memoirs

我记得第二章，梁伯给我讲故事的时候，说九舅给常公的药中（参见2.3节《桃花劫之二》），有一种药的主要成分是白色的石头。我去到了辽宁中医院，找了位教授级中医医生。那位女教授，四十多岁，听完了我对自己病的描述和我所询问的大部分是石头的中药，她笑了，说：“那是一个古方，叫参苓白术散，正合适你的病症。不过药里面没有石头，只是人们听故事，都那么说。里面有一味药，难溶于水，沉淀，吃起来像似石粉似的。”

I remember in Chapter 2, when Uncle Liang told me a story, he said that among the medicines that Ninth Uncle gave to Constant Fair (see Section 2.3 "Peach Flower Catastrophe 2"), there was a medicine whose main ingredient was white stone. I went to Liaoning Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital and found a professor-level Chinese medicine doctor. The female professor, who was in her forties, listened to my description of my illness and the Chinese medicines that were mostly stone. She smiled and said, "That is an ancient prescription called Shenling Baizhu San, which is just suitable for your illness. But there is no stone in the medicine, just people heard the story and said so. There is a medicine in it that is difficult to dissolve in water, precipitates, and tastes like stone powder."

写回忆录时，我注意到了1996年冬（参见8.3节），祝老师在谈刘团长促成我和刘健君婚姻的计划时，他帮我憧憬未来，提到了上文的王校长，是个大个子，是当时沈阳炮兵学院的组织部长。我和王校长谈话时，他自己介绍说，“1996年时，我是组织部长，他们去东北大学读研究生，还是我联系的呢。” 这和当时祝老师讲的一样。而且，祝老师说了他后面三、四任的校长继承人，就有我见到过的这位王校长。这继承人的安排正是刘团长的办事风格。

祝老师移民来了加拿大，这事和前文9.3节 《黑社会帮我打架》经历的怪事对应了。也就是说，那些怪事是祝老师在背后做的。

When I was writing my memoirs, I noticed that in the winter of 1996 (see Section 8.3), when Teacher Zhu was talking about the plan of Eve Liu and I to get married, he helped me look forward to the future and mentioned Principal Wang mentioned above, a big man who was the Organization Minister of Shenyang Artillery Academy at that time. When I talked to Principal Wang, he introduced himself, saying, "In 1996, I was the Organization Minister. They went to Northeastern University for graduate studies, and it was me who contacted for them." This is the same as what Teacher Zhu said at the time. Moreover, Teacher Zhu mentioned that the three or four successors to the president after him included Principal Wang, whom I had met. The arrangement of this successor is exactly the working style of Troupe Leader Liu.

Teacher Zhu immigrated to Canada, which corresponds to the strange affairs that happened in Section 9.3 of the previous article, "Mafia Fight for Me". In other words, those strange affairs were done by Teacher Zhu behind the scenes.

10.5-5 结论 Conclusion

我就是4.5节《真人医学实验的报纸新闻》中男孩儿组中的一员；在1996年秋，8.2节 《死不瞑目》中，被刘团长最终选中了作为实验中的男孩儿。

I am one of the boys in the boy group in section 4.5 “Newspaper News of Real-Life Medical Experiment”; and in the fall of 1996, in section 8.2 "Die with Eyes Open", was ultimately chosen by Troupe Leader Liu to be the boy in the experiment.

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