深陷其境---- 给黑暗中行走的人们

深  陷  其 境（后序）

                       ---- 给黑暗中行走的人们

                                                   作者：JENNY LAWSON    译者：渔.鹭

 

         写给那些在黑暗中行走的人们，也写给那些在阳光下行走但仍伸出一只手帮助那些在黑暗中行走并与他们并肩战斗的人们：

         光明的日子正在靠近。

         明亮的阳光也将到来。

         还有你的到来。

         哦，不，它也许不会持久。那些光明的时刻也许只是一次持续几天而已，但它会影响那些日子。那些值得黑暗的日子。

        在黑暗中你会发现自己，所有的压力与尴尬、筋疲力尽与无助。在黑暗中你会发现最本真的你。在黑暗中会发现深潭之下更有泥沼，它掩饰在水面之下。你可以看到那些正常人看不到的东西。那些恐怖的事，神秘的事。那些事就像在你的思想里挖了个洞植入了坏的种子。那些事在黑暗的默默低唤中，那些你曾想忘记的糟糕的秘密、那些让人尖叫的谎言、那些让痛苦至死的事，这些事从来没有停止让你倒下，并尝试着用各种各样的恐惧方法毁灭你……而且是用你自己颤抖的手。这些事是可怕的怪物……那些怪物会把你扑倒在床上成为它的猎物，用它那如针刺一样锋利的牙齿啮咬你。你知道它们并不是真实的，但当你在黑暗中时，它们就蛰伏在那洞里，它们的存在最真实的，并一直想致你于死地。

          而且有时它们成功了。

         但它们不总是成功。而且不是在你身上。你还活着。你在与它们战斗着。你伤痕累累，有时精疲力尽，甚至想过要放弃，但你还是坚持下去了。

         你在战争中打赢了多次，那些永远不会有奖章的战争。但你学会穿上了盔甲，你的伤疤已像看不见的皮肤保护了你，每一次你都赢得了少许经验。你知道如何战斗，你知道那种武器可以工作，你知道谁是你的同盟军。那些怪物是花言巧语，精于掩饰的撒谎精，它们从来就没有停止过让你投降。有时你会用你雄赳赳的拳头给予它们反击。有时你把自己拉进一个小球（意指封闭自己，与外界不联系），直到世界的尽头，被那些怪物拉出来吸干。有时你干脆放弃斗争，把战场交给了那些能帮你战斗的人。

         有时你坠入了更深处。

        在那最深、最黑暗处伸手不见五指的地方，你意识到你是孤独的，但你不是。我在那和你一起，我也不是孤独的。一些这世界最好的人在这里……感觉盲目，等待着，痛哭着，存在着。他们灵魂上的伤痛让他们想在水下学会呼吸……他们明白那些怪物说的话是不可能的。于是他们想继续生活着，不放弃。他们试图用自己的知识和经验与黑暗对抗，想发现回到水面的途径。他们想在温暖的阳光下晾干自己湿漉漉的衣服，想伸出头去看那水面上如此明亮耀眼、举手易得的阳光。他们想和那些有着不一样眼睛的人们一起走在阳光下……那些仍可以看到水面下痛苦人们的眼睛。有这样一双眼睛的人们可以看穿黑暗，并拽出那些在黑暗中的战士，或握紧他们冰冷的手、坐在他们的身旁，耐心地等待他们游上来喘口气。

 地震的中心（比喻让忧郁症患者产生的原因）那些正常人还是继续着他们的生活，但不是我们。我们常常生活在消极中，只有在阳光完全被挡住并消失时，我们才开始意识到生活的意义。看不见的绳索把那些正常的人绑在一起，彰显着坚强，但它没有绑定我们（抑郁的起因不同）。有时我们会与其它人一样走在阳光下，有时我们还是在水面下战斗着，成长着。

有时……，

……有时我们飞了。（没坚持与抑郁症继续斗争下 去。）

 

 

 

附原文:                                                                   
                                                             Epilogue：

                                              Deep in the Trenches

                                                                         By Jenny Lawson

To  all who walk the dark path, and to those who walk in the sunshine but hold outa hand in the darkness to travel beside us:

 

Brighten  days are coming. Clearer sight will arrive. And you will arrive too.

 

No, it might not be forever. The bright moments might be for a few days at a time,
but hold on for those days. Those days are worth the dark.

In the dark you find yourself, all bones and exhaustion and helplessness. In the dark
you find your basest self. In the dark you find the bottom of watery trenches the rest of the world only sees the surface of. You will see things that no normal person will ever see. Terrible things, Mysterious things. Things that try to burrow into your mind like a bad seed. Things that whisper dark and horrid secrets that you want to forget. Things that scream lies. Things that want you dead. Things that will stop at nothing to pull you down further and kill you in the most terrible way of all… by your own trembling hand. These things are fearsome monsters… the kind you always knew would sink in their needle-sharp teeth and pull you under the bed if you left a dangling limb out. You know they
aren’t real, but when you’re in that black, watery hole with them they are there realest thing there is. And they want us dead.

And sometimes they succeed.

But not always. And not with you. You are alive. You have fought and battled them. Your scarred and worn and sometimes exhausted and were perhaps even close to giving up, but you did not.

 

You have won many battles. There are no medals given out for these fights, but you wear your armor and your scars like an invisible skin, and each time you learn a little more. You learn how to fight. You learn which weapons work. You learn who your allies are. You learn that those monsters are exquisite liars who will stop at nothing to get you to
surrender. Sometimes you fight valiantly with fists and words and fury. Sometimes you fight by pulling yourself into a tiny ball, blotting out the monsters along with the rest of the world. Sometimes you fight by giving up and turning it over to someone else who can fight for you.

 

Sometimes you just fall deeper.

 

And in the deepest, night-blind fathoms you’re certain that you’re alone. You aren’t. I’m there with you. And I’m not alone. Some of the best people are here too…feeling blindly. Waiting. Crying. Surviving. Painfully stretching their souls so that they can learn to breathe underwater… so that they can do what the monsters say is impossible. So that
they can live. And so that they can find their way back to the surface with the knowledge of things that go bump in the night. So that they can dry themselves in the warm light that shines so brightly and easily for those above the surface. So that they can walk with others in the sunlight but with different eyes… eyes that still see the people underwater, allowing them to reach out into the darkness to pull up fellow fighters, or to simply hold their cold hands and sit beside the water to wait patiently for them to come up for air.

 

Ground zero is where the normal people live their lives, but not us. We live in the negatives so often that we begin to understand that life when the sun shines should be lived full throttle, soaring. The invisible tether that binds the normal people on their steady course doesn’t hold us in the same way. Sometimes we walk in sunlight with
everyone else. Sometimes we live underwater and fight and grow.

 

And sometimes…

…sometimes we fly.


译者备注：
      
       有读者提议，我上次文章篇幅太长，分两部分完成比较好,一部分介绍 抑郁症者的真实思想，另一部分着重于孩子心理教育的重要性。我尊重读者的 意见，此篇原本就是我的译文。觉得深有意义，与大家共享。