印度 混乱 噪音和卫生问题

印度不适合初学者——混乱、噪音和卫生问题

India Is NOT For Beginners - Chaos, Noise, and Hygiene

Eastern Dawn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgTZnDtYvVQ

当一家购物中心宣布午夜五折促销时，会发生什么？想象一下置身其中的感受。这就像僵尸电影里的场景。

总之，印度不适合初学者。说真的，如果你以为拿着《孤独星球》旅行指南，面带微笑就能轻松抵达新德里，那么你将踏上人生中文化之旅的颠簸之旅。因为在印度，混乱并非偶然，而是一种生活方式。

让我们先从驾驶开始，或者更确切地说，印度人所说的驾驶。想象一下现实版的《疯狂的麦克斯：狂暴之路》。

只不过，路上没有装甲卡车，而是嘟嘟车、公交车、牛群，还有一个骑着摩托车的男人，载着四个家庭成员、一个丙烷罐和一个装满购物袋。的确有车道，但它们更像是建议，而不是规则。在这里按喇叭并不粗鲁。

这几乎是一种语言。按一下喇叭表示让开。按两下表示我要超车。按三下表示我认命了。红绿灯是可选的。人行横道。纯粹的装饰。

如果你能活着穿过一条印度大马路，那你就应该得到一枚奖章。不过，回家后一定要去检查一下有没有创伤后应激障碍。但真正的冒险始于你饿的时候。因为说实话，没有什么比你第一次“德里肚”更能表达对印度的欢迎了。你会看到当地人坐在金属手推车上吃着辛辣的街头小吃，心想：“哇，看起来真好吃。” 直到大约6个小时后，你不得不抱着一个冲不完的马桶。如果你足够幸运，能找到一个不仅仅是地洞的地方，那就更好了。印度的街头小吃可以带来天堂般的美味，之后，可以说是胃肠的盛宴。卫生标准可以灵活变通。

递给你萨莫萨三角饺的摊主，也会顺便拿你的钱，挠挠头，擦擦腋窝，然后马上回去做饭，这种情况并不少见。第二，如果你以为在餐馆吃饭就能避开混乱，那就等你走到那里再说吧。

人行道（如果有人行道的话）经常被停放的摩托车、流浪狗，或者，你知道的，随意堆放的垃圾堵住。印度的垃圾问题已经全面爆发。你会在寺庙或高档咖啡馆旁边看到堆积如山的垃圾。更糟糕的是，流浪的牛和狗经常会吃这些垃圾堆里的腐烂食物或塑料。

光是那股味道就能让你流泪。对于一个视牛为圣的国家来说，看到它们在路边啃塑料袋，真的令人心碎。

别忘了河流。比如恒河，就被认为是神圣的。但你知道，在这神圣的名声之下，隐藏着世界上最脏的水。人们在恒河里洗澡、洗衣服，甚至饮用。

然而，就在几英尺之外，污水管道却直接排入同一条河流。这是一个悲剧性的矛盾。精神的纯洁与物质的污染相遇。此外，还有公共卫生问题，或者说，公共卫生的匮乏。尽管政府大力推行厕所建设，但随地大小便仍然普遍得令人震惊。你会看到成年男子在墙上或灌木丛后公开方便，仿佛这是世界上最正常的事情。

有时你甚至会看到写着“禁止在此小便”的标志。你猜对了，周围都是尿渍。有些街道的恶臭简直令人难以忍受。露天污水管道随处可见，源源不断地排放着污水和细菌，足以让任何卫生检查员晕倒。

即使它们没有直接流入河流，通常也会直接流入公共街道，这意味着每个人都能看到，呃，闻到。但即使你能忍受这些景象、气味和交通，还有一件事真正考验着每个游客的耐心，那就是骗局。在印度，诈骗不仅仅是常见。它几乎成了一项全民运动，一项他们能拿金牌的运动。所以，我想，做得真好。

这些骗局每隔几分钟就会从四面八方袭来，尤其是如果你看起来像个外国人。从你走出机场的那一刻起，你就成了一个行走的美元符号。

出租车和嘟嘟车司机是首当其冲的。你会得到特价，这其实只是个暗号，表示我们要收你十倍于正常价格的费用。有些人会告诉你你的酒店关门了或者被烧毁了，然后，你知道，好心地提出带你去一家更好的酒店，而这家酒店不出所料，恰好是他们堂兄的。

还有一些人会故意绕远路，假装迷路，花光你的钱。对了，计价器，哦，它总是坏的。而且，如果你给他们太多现金，就别指望能找到零钱了。还有一些人，他们所谓的热心肠，住在旅游景点附近，不知从哪儿冒出来。他们会告诉你，他们是官方导游，或者今天免费入场，但你可以捐点钱。他们会带你参观，最后再要钱。

有时他们会带着一帮人气势汹汹地围着你，大声催你付款。他们甚至会反过来说你才是骗子。

难以置信，不是吗？店主、小饰品商贩和黄牛们不断骚扰你。是啊，一段时间后真的会让你精疲力竭。想象一下，你正走过一个奇形怪状的集市，只是想看看周围的风景。每隔10秒钟，就会有人冲着你说：“先生，您好。您是哪里人？来看看我的店吧。很便宜，物美价廉。绝对没有假货。”你礼貌地拒绝，但他们还是会一直跟着你。有时他们会跟你走上好几个街区，恳求你，甚至让你产生负罪感，让你买下你不想要的东西。你会发现十几个人都在卖同样的小木象、磁铁或围巾，他们都坚称自己的店很特别。如果你和他们有眼神接触，那就见鬼去吧。那简直就是血染江湖。一旦他们知道你注意到他们，就会蜂拥而至。

这不仅仅是在市场。这种情况可能发生在海滩、寺庙附近，甚至当你坐在咖啡馆里时。你会收到假宝石、中国批量生产的手工纪念品，有时甚至是精神祝福，但最终发现也是骗局。一个人可能会在你的手腕上系一根红线以求好运，然后索要钱财。

在斋浦尔、阿格拉和德里等旅游大城市，诈骗猖獗，以至于整个网络论坛都致力于警告旅行者。假旅行社、假售票处、假僧侣，一切都是假的。甚至连孩子也会试图让你感到内疚，骗取你的钱财，通常是在成年人的监视下，他们在幕后策划了这场骗局，就像印度翻拍的《雾都孤儿》一样。虽然大多数这类遭遇与其说是危险，不如说是烦人，但纯粹的持续性会让你精疲力竭。你最终会耗费一半的精力只是为了避免被人催促，仿佛时刻保持警惕。这几乎是讽刺。

印度人对游客的昵称是“titi devoa”，意思是客人是上帝，但实际上，游客往往感觉自己更像是猎物而不是神。你很快就会学会讨价还价，仔细核对每一个价格，并且不相信任何主动和我朋友搭讪的人。但最糟糕的不是这些小骗局。

而是真正的犯罪。如今，身体暴力和性暴力在印度肆虐，这不足为奇。在不合适的人群面前说错话或做错事，你可能会被勒死。即使是一些看似微不足道的小事，
也可能对这些愚蠢的人造成极大的冒犯。

当然，并非每个印度人都是如此。很多人真诚善良，乐于助人。不幸的是，少数害群之马，或者更确切地说是那些顽固不化的人，会制造一种持续的猜疑感，让人难以放松。这就是印度的魅力所在。

它会让你在各个方面都感到感官超载。视觉上、情感上，甚至精神上。喧嚣、拥挤、骗局、气味，无休止地袭来。这个国家不会为你放慢脚步。你要么适应，要么崩溃。印度并非天生糟糕，只是它坦诚得近乎残酷。它从不掩饰自身的缺陷。你会看到赤裸裸的贫穷、污染、腐败和混乱。但你也会发现色彩、音乐、欢笑和韧性。人们日复一日地充分利用自己拥有的一切。无论情况多么艰难，印度都不仅仅是一个让你眼花缭乱的地方。它是一个考验你的地方。它会让你沮丧，让你着迷，让你厌恶，同时也会给你灵感。但有一点是肯定的，它并不适合初学者。所以，如果你打算去，一定要脸皮厚，保持怀疑态度，甚至还要对着兜售者露出一个假笑。带上洗手液、瓶装水和幽默感。这三样你都需要，因为在印度，一切都不会按计划进行。但不知何故，这恰恰是

India Is NOT For Beginners - Chaos, Noise, and Hygiene

Eastern Dawn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgTZnDtYvVQ

What happened when a shopping mall announced a midnight sale with 50% discount? Imagine being in the middle of that.It's like a scene from a zombie film.
Anyway, India is not for beginners. Seriously, if you think you can just land in New Delhi with your Lonely Planet guide book and a smile, then you're in for the cultural roller coaster of your life. Because in India, chaos isn't just an accident. It's a way
of life.

Let's start with the driving, or rather what Indians call driving. Imagine a real life version of Mad Max Fury Road.

Except instead of armored trucks, you've got tuk tucks, buses, cows, and a guy on a scooter carrying four family members, a propane tank, and a bag full of shopping. There are lanes, yes, but they're more like suggestions rather than rules. Honking isn't rude here. 

It's practically a language. One honk means move. Two honks means I'm overtaking. And three means I've accepted death. Traffic lights optional. Pedestrian crossings. Pure decoration.

If you survive crossing a large Indian road, then you deserve a medal. But just get checked for PTSD when you return home. But the real adventure begins when you get hungry. Because honestly, nothing says welcome to India like your first case of Delhi belly. You'll see locals eating spicy street food from metal carts and think, "Wow, that looks
delicious." And it is until about 6 hours later when you're hugging a toilet that doesn't flush. That's if you're lucky enough to find one that isn't just a hole in the ground. Street food in India can be an experience of heavenly flavor followed by, let's just say,
gastrointestinal fireworks. Hygiene standards can be uh flexible. 

It's not uncommon for the guy handling your samosa to also handle your cash, scratch his head, wipe his armpits, and go right back to cooking. Two. Now, if you think you'll escape chaos by eating in a restaurant, just wait till you walk there. The sidewalks, if there are sidewalks, are often blocked by parked scooters, stray dogs, or, you know,
random piles of trash. India's litter problem is a full-blown epidemic. You'll see mountains of garbage right next to a temple or a fancy cafe. And what's worse, stray cows and dogs often eat rotten food or plastic from these heaps.

The smell alone could make your eyes water. For a country that worships the cow is holy, it's honestly heartbreaking to see them munching plastic bags on the roadside.
And let's not forget the rivers. The Ganges, for example, is considered sacred. But you know, beneath that holy reputation lies some of the dirtiest water in the world. People bathe in it, wash clothes in it, and even drink it.

While just a few feet away, sewage pipes are pouring directly into the same river. It's a tragic contradiction. Spiritual purity meets physical pollution. Then there's the issue of public hygiene, or, you know, the lack of it. Despite massive government campaigns to build toilets, public urination and defecation are still shockingly common. You'll see grown men relieving themselves openly on walls or behind bushes like it's the most normal
thing in the world. Sometimes you'll even spot signs that literally say, "Do not urinate here." Surrounded by, you guessed it, puddles of urine. The stench in some streets can be, well, overwhelming. And open sewage drains, they're everywhere, carrying a steady
flow of waste water and bacteria that would make any health inspector faint.

If they're not flowing directly into a river, then they're usually just flowing right into a public street, meaning everyone gets to see and uh smell it. But even if you manage to handle the sights, smells, and traffic, there's one thing that truly tests every visitor's patience, the scams. Scamming in India isn't just common. It's practically a national sport, one which they'd win a gold medal in. So well done, I guess.

And these scams will come at you every few minutes and from every direction, especially if you look foreign. The moment you step out of the airport, you're a walking dollar sign. 

Taxi and tuk tuk drivers are the first to strike. You'll get special prices, which is really just code for we're going to charge you like 10 times the normal rate. Some will tell you your hotel is closed or burned down and then, you know, kindly offer to take you to a better one, which not so surprisingly is conveniently owned by their cousin.
Others will accidentally take the long route just burning through your cash while pretending to be lost. And yes, the meter, oh, it's always broken. And well, don't expect to get any change if you give them too much cash. Then there are the so-called helpful locals near tourist spots who suddenly appear out of nowhere. They'll tell you they're
official guides or that entry is free today, but there's a special donation you can give. They'll take you on a tour and then demand money at the end, sometimes aggressively surrounding you with their gang and loudly demanding payment. They even flip the script and say you are the one who scammed them.

Incredible, isn't it? The constant harassment from shopkeepers, trinket sellers, and touts. Yeah, it can really wear you down after a while. Picture this. You're walking through a bizaar just trying to take in the sights. And every 10 seconds, someone's
in your face saying, "Hello, sir. Where are you from? Come look my shop. Very cheap. Good price for you. Definitely no fake brands." You say no politely, but they keep following you. sometimes for blocks, pleading or even guilt tripping you into buying something you don't want. You'll find the same little wooden elephants, magnets, or scarves being
sold by a dozen people, all insisting their shop is uh special. And God help you if you make eye contact. That's basically blood in the water. Once they know you've noticed them, they'll swarm.

It's not even just in markets. This can happen on beaches, near temples, even while you're sitting at a cafe. You'll get offered fake gemstones, handmade souvenirs that were mass-produced in China, and sometimes spiritual blessings that turn out to be scams, too. A guy might tie a red thread around your wrist for good luck, then demand money afterward.

In tourist heavy cities like Jaipur, Agra, and Delhi, scams are so rampant that entire online forums are dedicated to warning travelers. Fake tour agencies, fake ticket counters, fake monks, fake everything. Even kids will try to guilt trip you for money, often under the watchful eyes of adults orchestrating the scam from the background like some Indian remake of Oliver Twist. And while most of these encounters are more annoying than dangerous, the sheer persistence wears you down. You end up spending half your
energy just trying not to be hustled, like you're always on alert. It's almost ironic.

India's nickname for visitors is a titi devoa meaning the guest is god but in practice tourists often feel more like prey than gods. You learn quickly to bargain for everything double-check every price and trust no one who starts a conversation with my friend. But the worst thing is not these petty scams.

It's the true crimes. It's no surprise by now that physical and sexual violence is a real plague in India. say or do the wrong thing in front of the wrong crowd and you may find a rope being tied around your neck. Even something seemingly small or insignificant could
be highly offensive to these brainless folk.

Now, of course, it's not every Indian. Many people are genuinely kind and helpful. Unfortunately, the few bad apples, or rather the many persistent ones, create a sense of constant suspicion that makes it hard to relax. And that's the thing about India. It's
sensory overload in every sense. Visually, emotionally, and mentally. The noise, the crowds, the scams, the smells, it's all relentless. The country doesn't slow down for you. You either adapt or you break. It's not that India is inherently a bad place. It's just brutally honest. It doesn't hide its flaws. You'll see poverty, pollution, corruption, and chaos all out in the open. But you'll also find color, music, laughter, and resilience. People make the best of what they have day after day. No matter how tough things get, India isn't a place you just see. It's a place that tests you. It will frustrate you, fascinate you, disgust you, and inspire you all at once. But one thing's for sure, it's not for beginners. So, if you're planning to go, go with thick skin, a skeptical mind, and maybe a fake smile for the touts. Bring hand sanitizer, bottled water, and a sense of humor. You'll need all three because in India, nothing ever goes to plan. But somehow that is the