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让孩子在群体中成长,about piano, and sports

(2017-02-26 17:41:20) 下一个

   A few years ago, a Chinese parent was telling me some Chinese are trying to establish a Chinese language program in the school district. But just could not succeed because a few Chinese were playing too much politics. It is not because of too much politics. Anywhere there are more than 3 people, of course there are politics. it is likely because they don't know how to play team politics. They do not know how to accomplish the team goal even though different individuals have different motivations in mind (每个人都打各自的小算盘)do not know how to succeed despite of those conflicts...

  On the other hand, look at what us Chinese parents are pushing our kids  everyday. Piano, violin ,... Sports, yes, tennis, swimming, ... most are individual activities. Group activities normally are side dish or snack.

What our kids are trained everyday is individual excellence. There is only one champion. Either you are the only king, or you are nobody. (要不当皇帝,要不是草民) So if someone else is very close to you, he(she) is your competitor, no teammate. No need for teamwork and dealing with team politics.

No wonder there is this kind of author exist in Chinese American. (https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/01/30/opinion/white-students-unfair-advantage-in-admissions.html?_r=0&referer=)”I would not have preferred to go to a Yale that was predominantly Asian." Of course, because not only himself, but a lot of his Asian classmates are used to play alone and excel alone by doing piano, tennis. The more Asian , the less opportunities to excel.

Have you ever heard African American complained about too many Africans in NBA, NFL? Have you seen Jews complained about too many Jews in business?  They do not like some of their own people either. But in the end of the day, they work together despite all the conflicts within. Because they have been doing  those things together day after day since childhood, playing team sports, going to church, fighting with each other yet working together.  They learned everyday as long as they work as a group , they will achieve much more as a group than as each individual.

For those who does not want to be classmates with too many of his(her) own race in schools like UC Berkeley, just do not go there. Or transfer to another school. Nothing wrong with that. Many Chinese do not like to live in an Asian Community that many residents do not like to contribute to the community. It is very normal and understandable. Just try to live somewhere else. But keep in mind, in this country, before you are identified as anybody, you are identified by your color, means you in the group called Asian or Chinese. This is your base. If you wrote  in NYtimes that you do not like to see too many  classmate from your own race just because of race. It shows you do not want to be in the group you are borned to be with.  It is doubtful that you can go farther even as a Yale graduate.

So many Asian kids are excellent in different ways. Of course a lot of them are in piano... This is normal because this is what they are good at and love. But do wish they can prosper in a community and learn to deal with all kinds of politics. It is ok to have conflicts even with your friends and teammates, your own people. But in the end, we can only proceed further as a group and we will proceed much further as a group. Our kids need to learn that, practice that, and experience that day by day. 

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