【尼日利亚】加布里埃尔·奥卡拉
2022年3月2日星期三
曾经，儿子
他们常常由衷发笑
眼睛也透出率真
而现在他们仅是露齿发笑
冷冰冰的眼神却在我的四周搜寻
曾经
他们的确握手真诚
但那已成为过去，儿子
现在他们握手，心不在焉
右手握着
左手却企图在我的空袋里翻寻
“就像自己家一样！”“再来啊！”
他们说。当我再来时
一次，两次，感觉像自己家一样
但再也没有第三次---
因我发现他们已经关上大门
所以我学会了许多，儿子
我学会了装扮各种各样的脸
就像适时更换自己的着装---
家里的脸，办公室的脸，逛街的脸，主人的脸
以及鸡尾酒脸，带着所有适宜的微笑
如同一张带着永恒微笑的照片
我也学会了仅露齿发笑
也学会了敷衍式的握手
还学会了说“再见”
而实际上是庆幸将对方摆脱
学会了说“很高兴见到你”
而实际上是满心不愿
学会了说“很乐意与你交谈”
而实际上是倍感心烦
但相信我，儿子
我想做回曾经的自己，就像现在的你
我想丢弃所有这些虚伪，待人诚恳
尤其是想重新学会怎样发笑
因我在镜中露齿的笑容
就如蛇露出獠牙般的可怖狰狞
所以告诉我，儿子
怎样发笑，怎样显露自己真实的笑容
就如现在的你，我的曾经
后记：此诗语言朴素，风格独特，如父子在壁炉前对话。一个人从童年到成年，学会了圆滑，却丢弃了童真。
原文
Once Upon a Time
by Gabriel Okara
Once upon a time, son,
they used to laugh with their hearts
and laugh with their eyes:
but now they only laugh with their teeth,
while their ice-block-cold eyes
search behind my shadow.
There was a time indeed
they used to shake hands with their hearts:
but that’s gone, son.
Now they shake hands without hearts
while their left hands search
my empty pockets.
‘Feel at home!’ ‘Come again’:
they say, and when I come
again and feel
at home, once, twice,
there will be no thrice-
for then I find doors shut on me.
So I have learned many things, son.
I have learned to wear many faces
like dresses – homeface,
officeface, streetface, hostface,
cocktailface, with all their conforming smiles
like a fixed portrait smile.
And I have learned too
to laugh with only my teeth
and shake hands without my heart.
I have also learned to say,’Goodbye’,
when I mean ‘Good-riddance’:
to say ‘Glad to meet you’,
without being glad; and to say ‘It’s been
nice talking to you’, after being bored.
But believe me, son.
I want to be what I used to be
when I was like you. I want
to unlearn all these muting things.
Most of all, I want to relearn
how to laugh, for my laugh in the mirror
shows only my teeth like a snake’s bare fangs!
So show me, son,
how to laugh; show me how
I used to laugh and smile
once upon a time when I was like you.
