蝉音了了
诗歌和蝉鸣
4年前写的
Night train
It drizzles at midnight in spring
Raindrops tap, tap
awaken the dozing night train
The aged and worn green cars wobble
the wandering wooden benches
and my few threads of silver hairs
that roam and blur in dim light
One stop after another
surge on bands of teens
I look for scarlet
in the crowd
for the first spread of scarlet on your lips
in my memory
Dream after dream
the night train horns its destination on an autumn morning
Tide off bands of teens
and vanish into the rainbow
I'm pulled towards a frozen tundra by the night train
but the first spread of scarlet on your lips
is still rubbing my pain
Front page pick 11 hours ago
Likes: , abd taala ibnali, kaye, Southernmoon, Jenny Middleton, risingdawn615, Joakim, Pisces Plutonian, CarelesslyHuman, Mahmudul Hasan Labib, querolzita, Megha2, Ivy A., Russell W
Ivy A. - A lovely memory expressed in such beautiful words and composition. But at the end it's one that evokes a haunting feeling. Very well written.
7 hours ago
risingdawn615 - I can visualize the imagry of the cold frozen tundra and a loved one missed on a ride in a wobbly green car with wooden benches of this train with bands of teens. I like the line "and vanish int he the rainbow." It's seems like a dream where a past memory merges with the present for just a fleeting second.
7 hours ago
Joakim - this great a peom, i can feel your intense emotion. Bravo
Lovely
8 hours ago
Southernmoon - This is an intelligently written and interesting poem. I love the: 'I look for scarlet'.. it tempts the reader onwards. And there it is again. Personal..private and romantically meaningful. I admire the final two lines. They lend a touch of mystery. Thank you for sharing such a fine write!??
10 hours ago
Russell W - Very evocative
11 hours ago
Jenny Middleton - Such powerful and vivid descriptions; I can picture the train and the journey you describe.
Aug 2019
Jenny Middleton - Lovely writing, Drawing on memories to create poetry is a great idea.
Aug 2019
abd taala ibnali -
This is fantastic, sexy
boiling like hot water
to end in apoplexy
as steams invading quarters.
Beloved poet. This quatrain is your review. Love, peace, and transmutation too.
AbdTaaAla IbnAli, or just call me AT.
Great.
Jul 2019
和GPT的评论比较一下
This poem, titled "Night Train," captures a poignant and reflective mood, blending elements of nature, nostalgia, and personal emotion. Here's an analysis:
Setting and Atmosphere:
The poem establishes a setting of a night train journey in spring. The drizzle at midnight creates a serene and somewhat melancholic atmosphere. The use of the night train as a central image suggests movement, transition, and the passage of time.
Imagery:
The raindrops tapping and awakening the dozing night train create vivid auditory imagery, emphasizing the contrast between the quiet night and the stirring train. The aged and worn green cars and wandering wooden benches evoke a sense of weariness and the passage of time.
Symbolism:
The mention of the few threads of silver hairs may symbolize aging or the passage of time, connecting the personal experience of the speaker with the aging train. The search for scarlet in the crowd could symbolize the search for passion, warmth, or a meaningful connection amid the mundane journey of life.
Narrative and Memory:
The poem unfolds as a narrative, with the night train making stops, carrying bands of teens, and eventually reaching its destination on an autumn morning. The reference to dreams suggests a reflective quality, as if the speaker is recalling memories or contemplating the passage of time.
Emotional Tone:
The poem carries a subtle emotional tone. The repeated reference to the first spread of scarlet on someone's lips suggests a deep emotional connection or a moment of significance. The pain associated with this memory is hinted at in the closing lines, creating a sense of longing or unresolved emotion.
Contrast:
There's a notable contrast between the external journey of the night train and the internal journey of the speaker's thoughts and emotions. The external movement of the train is juxtaposed with the internal reflections on memories, dreams, and emotions.
Closure:
The poem closes with the lingering pain of the first spread of scarlet on someone's lips, suggesting that despite the passage of time and the train journey, this memory remains vivid and emotionally charged for the speaker.
In summary, "Night Train" weaves together elements of nature, journey, and personal emotion to create a reflective and evocative portrayal of memory and the passage of time. The use of vivid imagery and symbolism adds depth to the emotional landscape of the poem.
GPT 翻译
夜列车
春夜午夜中细雨绵绵
雨点轻拍，轻拍
唤醒了打瞌睡的夜列车
那老旧的绿色车厢摇晃
流浪的木椅
以及我几缕银发
在昏暗的灯光中漫游并模糊
一个接一个的车站
涌动着一群群少年
我寻找深红
在人群中
寻找你嘴唇上初次绽放的深红
在我的记忆里
这首名为《夜列车》的诗捕捉到了一种深沉而沉思的情绪，融合了自然、怀旧和个人情感的元素。以下是对其的分析：
背景与氛围：
这首诗描绘了一个春夜列车之旅的背景。午夜的毛毛细雨营造出一种宁静而略带忧郁的氛围。将夜列车作为中心意象，暗示着运动、转变和时光的流逝。
意象：
雨点轻拍，唤醒了打盹的夜列车，创造了生动的听觉意象，强调了宁静夜晚与醒动的列车之间的对比。老旧的绿色车厢和流浪的木椅勾起了疲惫和时光流逝的感觉。
象征：
几缕银发的提及可能象征着衰老或时间的流逝，将讲述者的个人经历与老化的列车联系在一起。在人群中寻找深红可能象征着在平凡的生活旅程中寻找激情、温暖或有意义的联系。
叙述与记忆：
这首诗呈现为一篇叙事，夜列车停靠，载着一群青少年，最终在秋日早晨到达目的地。对梦境的提及表明了一种反思的品质，就像讲述者正在回忆往事或思考时间的流逝。
情感色调：
这首诗带有微妙的情感色调。对某人嘴唇初次绽放的深红的反复提及暗示着深厚的情感联系或一刻的重要性。与这段记忆相关的痛苦在结尾处暗示，营造出一种渴望或未解的情感。
对比：
夜列车的外在旅程与讲述者思想和情感的内在旅程之间存在明显的对比。列车的外部运动与对记忆、梦境和情感的内在反思形成了鲜明的对比。
结尾：
这首诗以深深的痛苦结束，深红初次绽放在某人嘴唇上的记忆仍然鲜明而富有情感，暗示着尽管时光流逝、列车行进，这段记忆对讲述者而言仍然生动而充满情感。
总的来说，《夜列车》将自然、旅程和个人情感元素巧妙地编织在一起，创造出一幅反思和富有感触的记忆与时光流逝的描绘。生动的意象和象征的运用为诗歌的情感景观增添了深度。
