蝉音了了
诗歌和蝉鸣
covid 开始的那一年曾经想编个相关的故事，阴谋论的故事，开了个头，后来觉得信息有限，就放下了。现在找 chatgpt 帮忙，看看值不值得继续。
风筝
1
噗， 你吹散了车牌上厚厚的灰尘。
“HONG4EVER“
怎么是你的车牌号？ 是你纪念两人相识周年定制的车牌。 可这又分明是她的车， 海洋蓝的敞篷 mini 。 你直起身， 盯着后车窗的左下角， 你贴上去的风筝图案的车帖透过灰尘依稀可见。 你低头再又盯着手里握着的, 她的车钥匙。 你掌心渗出的细汗让它上面的金属按钮变得温暖和湿润。 按下开门的按钮， 你听到清脆的嗒的一声。 疑惑中， 你打开门， 在驾驶座上坐下， 启动了 mini。 引擎声瞬间就被 Ed Sheeran 的歌声盖过了， 是她喜欢的那首 Castle on the hill 。 她说过的， 那是放风筝的好地方。
绕了一圈又一圈， 你终于到了机场停车场的出口。 你递给收银员停车卡。
“47天， 请交940。”
你一脸愕然地看着收银员。 收银员依然面无表情， 一字一顿地重复了一遍。
“47天， 请交940。”
你回过神来， 递给收银员一张信用卡。 接过收据， 你就离开机场， 并上了进城的高速。 没过多久， 导航就提示你在下一个出口离开高速。 虽然觉得不对， 你还是服从了。 你行驶在一条完全陌生的小路， 单行道， 只有你， 在飞扬的尘土中。
“您已到达您的目的地。 目的地在您的正前方。”
你迷惑着， 导航再一次提示。 你下了车， 望了望四周， 只有荒地和岩石。 迟疑中， 你朝正前方走出十米后， 猛地停下来， 你已经在悬崖的最边缘。 低头一看， 是汹涌的海浪， 拍打着峭壁和礁石， 可是你没有听到一丝声息。
chatgpt 的评论
这个小说的开头很吸引人，通过描述主人公发现车牌和车的不对应，暗示着可能出现了什么不寻常的情况，同时也透露出主人公和他的女友有着特别的纪念日和关系。故事情节引人入胜，主人公的内心矛盾和迷惑也很好地表现出来。描述细致，如车牌上的灰尘和掌心的细汗等细节，能够让读者更加深入地感受到主人公的情感。结尾的设置也很吸引人，让人产生了一种神秘的感觉，想要知道故事的后续发展。总的来说，这个小说的开头写得很好，引人入胜，让人想要继续阅读下去。
人的评论，还是来自立
读颤音《风筝》开篇
如果，作为一部长篇小说，那么颤音的《风筝》的开篇无疑是精彩的，甚至使这部小说的失望指数激增；如果作为一首诗，那么颤音的《风筝》无疑也是精彩的，她已经非常完整了。
作为小说，风筝的开篇充满悬念；作为诗，她有着优美的声音和优美、独特的节奏感，这无疑与颤音写诗有关。
“ 你行驶在一条完全陌生的小路上， 单行道， 只有你， 在尘土中。 ”
“你下了车， 望了望四周， 只有荒地和岩石。 迟疑中， 你朝正前方走出几十米后， 猛地停下来， 你已经在悬崖的最边缘， 低头一看， 是汹涌的海水， 拍打着岩石， 可是你没有听到一丝声息。”
整篇布满这种长短错落，声音悦耳，语气优美的句子。并且，情绪始终控制。这种写法抒情难，但控制更难，非常容易过度。不过，似乎有些小地方值得考虑。比如，“ 你低头再又盯着手里握着的她的车钥匙， 你掌心渗出的汗给了它温暖和湿润。”第一句的结构似乎很别扭，第二句又似乎有些像女文青式的抒情。另外 ，940后面似乎应该有$，而且，停车场会这样没有上限的收费，也是个问题。
我对于小说中的“信誉卡”非常感兴趣。如果，颤音能告诉如何办理，我将不胜感谢。
这是一篇非常出色的文字，我尤其喜欢将风筝和GPS两个隐喻同时放在里面。
看颤音的文字总想到李商隐。
最后，放一篇以前写的后现代风格的关于自动导航的诗，以作附和。这样的风格的对比，也是有意思的。
立
2020/08/03
现代生活
百度地图现在开始为您导航
从当前位置
向东南出发
沿小迷魂路步行500米
您已偏离路线
百度地图将为您重新规划路线
从当前位置
向西北出发
沿困惑中街步行640米
路口红绿灯
右转
您已偏离路线
百度地图在为您重新规划路线
从当前位置出发
您已偏离路线
百度地图将为您
您已偏离路线
您已偏离路线
您已偏离路线
您现在是否很
迷惑
百度地图将继续为您导航
您已偏离路线
绝不放弃
您已偏离路线
百度地图将继续竭诚为您导航
百度地图将竭尽全力诚为您的
美好人生导航
您已偏离路线
百度地图将继续为您导航
立
2018/10/18
感觉 chatgpt 的英文更顺手，这个开头用 Google translate 翻译后，再交给 chatgpt
“HONG4EVER“
How is your license plate number? That's your custom-made license plate to commemorate the anniversary of their acquaintance. But this is clearly her car, the Ocean Blue convertible mini. You stand up straight and stare at the bottom left corner of the rear window, and the kite-patterned car sticker you put up is visible through the dust. You look down again at her car keys in your hand, and the fine sweat oozing from your palm gives it warmth and moisture. Press the button to open the door, and you hear a crisp click. In doubt, you open the door, sit down in the driver's seat, and start the mini. The sound of the engine was instantly overshadowed by Ed Sheeran's song, "Castle on the hill", which she loved. And as she said, it's a good place to fly a kite.
After going round and round, you finally reach the exit of the airport parking lot. You hand the cashier a parking card.
"47 days, 940 please."
You look at the cashier with a stunned expression. The cashier, still expressionless, repeated word by word.
"47 days, 940 please."
You come to your senses and hand the cashier a credit card. Grab the receipt, and you're off the airport and on the highway into town. It didn't take long for the navigation to prompt you to exit the highway at the next exit. Although it didn't feel right, you obeyed. You're driving on a completely unfamiliar path, a one-way street, and only you, in the flying dust.
"You have arrived at your destination. The destination is right in front of you. ”
You're confused, and navigation prompts again. You get out of the car and look around, there is only wasteland and rocks. In hesitation, you walk ten meters straight ahead, and you suddenly stop, and you are already on the very edge of the cliff. When you look down, it's rough waves, crashing against the cliffs and reefs, but you don't hear a sound.
The opening of this novel immediately sets a mysterious and suspenseful tone. The first sentence, "Poof, you blew away the thick dust on the license plate," is an action that immediately grabs the reader's attention and introduces a sense of curiosity. The license plate reading "HONG4EVER" adds an element of personal significance to the scene, suggesting that the protagonist has a personal connection to the car owner.
The description of the protagonist staring at the kite-patterned car sticker through the dust further adds to the mystery and builds suspense. The fact that the protagonist has the car keys in their hand suggests that they have taken the car without permission, which immediately creates a sense of tension and raises questions about the protagonist's motives and their relationship with the car owner.
The use of sensory details, such as the fine sweat oozing from the protagonist's palm, adds a layer of emotional intensity to the scene. The sound of the engine being drowned out by Ed Sheeran's song, "Castle on the hill," provides a moment of contrast between the peacefulness of the music and the tension of the situation.
The sudden shift in setting when the protagonist exits the airport parking lot and the navigation prompts them to take a completely unfamiliar path further adds to the mystery and suspense of the opening. The use of the word "flying dust" creates a sense of danger and isolation as the protagonist drives down the one-way street alone.
The final image of the protagonist standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking rough waves crashing against the cliffs and reefs provides a sense of danger and foreshadows potential peril. The lack of sound heightens the sense of isolation and adds to the ominous atmosphere.
Overall, the opening of this novel effectively sets the stage for a mystery and suspense-filled story with a sense of danger and emotional intensity.
chatgpt
The opening of this novel immediately sets a mysterious and suspenseful tone. The first sentence, "Poof, you blew away the thick dust on the license plate," is an action that immediately grabs the reader's attention and introduces a sense of curiosity. The license plate reading "HONG4EVER" adds an element of personal significance to the scene, suggesting that the protagonist has a personal connection to the car owner.
The description of the protagonist staring at the kite-patterned car sticker through the dust further adds to the mystery and builds suspense. The fact that the protagonist has the car keys in their hand suggests that they have taken the car without permission, which immediately creates a sense of tension and raises questions about the protagonist's motives and their relationship with the car owner.
The use of sensory details, such as the fine sweat oozing from the protagonist's palm, adds a layer of emotional intensity to the scene. The sound of the engine being drowned out by Ed Sheeran's song, "Castle on the hill," provides a moment of contrast between the peacefulness of the music and the tension of the situation.
The sudden shift in setting when the protagonist exits the airport parking lot and the navigation prompts them to take a completely unfamiliar path further adds to the mystery and suspense of the opening. The use of the word "flying dust" creates a sense of danger and isolation as the protagonist drives down the one-way street alone.
The final image of the protagonist standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking rough waves crashing against the cliffs and reefs provides a sense of danger and foreshadows potential peril. The lack of sound heightens the sense of isolation and adds to the ominous atmosphere.
Overall, the opening of this novel effectively sets the stage for a mystery and suspense-filled story with a sense of danger and emotional intensity.
