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Notes of my parenting class with Susan Stone

(2015-11-20 11:08:48) 下一个

3 Steps to discipline kids :

  1. Set rule: Solid
  2. Stay consequence: Solid
  3. Follow through

Good example is highway driving: caught -> ticket but people keeps trying

Kids like rule

Consequence is not a punish/threading, it is a result from the choice you made.

You chose … then you get …

Everything is a choice.  

Solid rule, solid consequence: Ask them, tell them, stay with the consequence.

Our children learn from making wrong choice->wrong consequence (mistake)

Discipline=teaching

Self-discipline=self-control:

Children act out (the worst) in the safest place of the world – home

Setup a box for kids to acting out

Verify the event such as a party by verifying to kid's parents to make a call:

  • Who, how, where, when and what

Manage behavior:  Don't Yell, Just Tell!  (take emotion away)

What trait do you want your kids to have when they are 21 years old?

  • Honesty, kind, capable, and close to me

Our child behavior will not change until we change!

What's rule to the school night?

Communication

Stop and Think, before talk

Two ways to communicate: listen and Talk

Truly listen:

  Our job is to figure out who they are

  Cannot make self-motivated about score but can guide it

  We learn nothing by talking

  Kid’s complain: parents don’t listen to kids

  Listen to the kids the same way you want them to listen

  Listen & knowledge & empathetic

  Kids get understood = feel safe

  Our kids needs to be understood

Talk:

  Talk to kids the same way they talk to me

  Best place to talk:  Dinner time, bedtime and car

  Looking at eyes – teenage cannot do it

  Text is a great way to talk to kids because kids does not want to listen to your voice

  Ask a small question such as tell me one thing you have learned/happy/sad…

  Shut me off from lif = I feel unsafe

  Parents don't want last words but its ok for them to have last words

  Parents don't have to have the last words but you should have the last say

  Argue/debate: stop

  Should not give an answer to social reply in front of friends such as sleeping over request. Try to reply with: Are you hoping I will reply with yes/no? 

 

Given by: Susan Sone Belton

Susan@SusanStoneBelton.com

4082521089

Facebook.com/SusanStoneBelton

 

 

 

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