“下一次你给台湾总统打电话时，可能在电话另一边的就是我”
英文原文：
https://www.bloomberg.com/gadfly/articles/2016-12-07/dear-mr-trump-about-those-u-s-iphones
彭博社专栏作家Tim Culpan以郭台铭的口吻撰写的专栏文章。
亲爱的特朗普先生，
您可能不认识我，我是郭台铭，就是为您生产iPhone的那个人。
Dear Mr. Trump,
You don't know me but I'm Terry Gou, the man who makes your iPhone.
Let me start by congratulating you on the election. Your victory made me consider running for office myself. Next time you talk with the president of Taiwan, it might be me on the other end of the line.
请允许我先祝贺您当选美国总统。您的胜选也激发了我，让我开始考虑未来从政的可能。
您和我之间有很多共同点。我们都是亿万富豪（虽然我更有钱），我们都喜欢造东西，我们都娶了美丽动人的年轻女人为妻，而且我们都痛恨华尔街。
We have a lot in common, you and I. We're both billionaires (although I am richer), we both like to build things, we're both married to gorgeous younger women, and we both hate Wall Street.
I know that you've been telling your constituents that you're going to create a lot of jobs, so I want to give you some advice. First, you don't actually have to create any jobs, you just have to make people think you're going to create them. I am sure you're familiar with the concept.
我知道，您一直在跟选民说，要创造很多就业岗位，所以在这里，我想给您提几点建议。第一，其实您不用真的创造任何就业岗位，只需要让人觉得您会创造就业即可。我敢肯定您对此一点都不陌生。
事实上，在这方面我还能为您提供一些帮助。您只需要看看巴西、印尼、印度以及中国数个省份，看看我在那里所做的事情，一切都不言自明了。
Actually, I can help you with that. If you look at Brazil, Indonesia, India and half a dozen Chinese provinces, you'll see that my work speaks for itself.
Take Indonesia, one of my proudest achievements. Oh no, I haven't built a single iPhone there and probably never will. During closed-door discussions, they allowed themselves to believe I might invest $10 billion in a mobile-phone factory. It's not my fault some over-eager politician, keen to burnish his reputation as a can-do leader, blabbed to the media.
以印尼为例来说吧，那里是我最引以为傲的成就之一。喔，糟糕，迄今为止我尚未在那里生产过哪怕是一支iPhone，未来可能永远都不会在印尼生产。在闭门会谈中，他们一厢情愿地相信我会向一家手机生产工厂投资100亿美元。一些个热情如火的政客，急于为自己塑造积极进取的领导人形象，向媒体大肆吹嘘，这又不是我的错。
我所需要做的只是摆出我的要求，然后静静地看着这些官僚和政客们开始就能否答应我的条件吵来吵去，或者是冒着对选民失信的风险拒绝我的要求。
All I need to do is lay out my demands and watch while the bureaucrats and politicians argue about whether they can afford to have me or risk falling short on a campaign pledge.
所以，这才是我需要和您谈论的话题。我听说您一直在宣扬说要让苹果在美国生产。但是，你看，其实蒂姆·库克（Tim Cook）并不造东西，是我在制造。事实上，2015年我从他们那里得到了750亿美元制造业务收入。
我是一个实干家，特朗普先生。我做事情。当年苹果为了规避进口关税让我在巴西生产iPhone，我做到了。注意，这并没有给当地带来太多的就业机会，因为我只是出口了提前预制好的iPhone然后再在当地组装起来——有点像乐高——但确实达到了目的。说起达到目的，我的意思是让苹果高层和巴西领导人都开心。那么您认为是谁在为此买单呢？反正不是我。
So that's where you and I need to talk. I hear you've been telling people you're going to get Apple to build stuff in America. Well, you see, Tim Cook doesn't build things, I do. In fact, I got $75 billion in revenue from them last year.
I am a doer, Mr. Trump. I get things done. When Apple told me to start making iPhones in Brazil to get around import tariffs, I made it happen. It didn't create much employment, mind you, because I just exported pre-fabricated iPhones for the locals to slot together -- kind of like Lego -- but it got the job done. And by job, I mean kept Apple's and Brazil's leaders happy. And who do you think paid for it? Not me.
If you want iPhones to be made in America, I can make that happen, too. Heck, I can set up a production line in Trump Towers if you like, but the costs will be yuuuge. I have to cover my expenses, which include factories, labor and transport. You see, I don't manufacture in China just because it's cheaper, but because thousands of suppliers are there, within spitting distance of my factories and the one million people I employ during peak season.
如果您想要在美国生产iPhone，这都不叫事儿，如果你想要的话，我甚至可以在特朗普大厦里面搭建一条生产线，但是成本将会非常高。我至少要收回我的费用，这里面包括工厂、劳动力和运输。所以你也看到了，我并不仅仅是因为在中国生产便宜才在那里生产，而是因为有上千家供应商都在那里，它们距离我的工厂只有咫尺之遥，高峰期我在那里雇佣的工人超过100万。
当然了，我也可以在美国多部署一些机器人，不过，人类只需要几个小时就可以掌握的技术要想训练好机器人需要花费数月之久。而且，机器人部署的越多意味着人工的工作岗位就越少。
I can deploy more robots in the U.S., sure, but it can take months to train them whereas humans can be taught in a few hours. Besides, more robots means fewer jobs.
Bumping up your import tariffs won't change the equation much, but give me tax breaks, subsidies to hire workers, cheap electricity and free land, and I'm sure we can come to some arrangement. Let me know what numbers you want to Tweet, and I've got your back.
您即便是提高进口关税，也不会让局面改变太多，但如果您承诺税收优惠，就业补贴，电价折扣和免费土地的话，我敢肯定我们可以达成某种共识。如果您打算在推特上公布一个数字的话，别忘了告诉我，我一定支持您。
不过，您还是要知道：就像您打算建造的那堵墙一样，总要有人为此买单。需要提醒您的是，这个人一定不是我。
But just remember: Like that wall you're planning to build, somebody's going to have to pay. And it won't be me, let me tell you.
Best,
Terry Gou
Chairman, Foxconn Technology Group.
