如何面对动物攻击

By Doug Barry



DOGS

Wolf attacks are actually extremely rare — there’ve only been 49 documented cases in the U.S. since 1942. Domestic dogs, however, bite 4.7 million people each year in the U.S. If you should run into a pissed-off mutt, remember not to run, because the dog will just assume you’re prey and chase you. Instead, stand up tall, turn slightly sideways to the dog, keep your arms at your sides, avoid eye contact, and back away slowly. If the dog does bite, pull its ears or gouge its eyes.

SHARKS

Sharks are less likely to attack a group of divers than a solitary diver, so it’s best to buddy up when you’re going into shark-infested waters. (Or the tub, depending on how cautious you wish to be.) If, however, you insist on collecting sand dollars all by your lonesome and run into a shark that looks hungry, swim smoothly away (no jerky movements), keeping your eyes on the shark at all times. If the shark gets too close for comfort — like, for instance, when it tries to bite you — punch or stab at itss hyper-sensitive snout, claw at its gills and eyes, and generally make it understand that eating you isn’t worth the effort. With luck, it’ll merely leave you you with a bitchin’ scar that’s just south of gross.

BEARS

Despite their size, some bears can reach a top speed of 35 mph, so you’re not outrunning the thing. Try to stand tall and make a show of strength, but don’t stare the bear down because it might interpret this as a challenge. Avert your eyes and try to back away upwind of the animal so it knows you’re human and probably full of half-digested energy bars, which is gross. If the bear is determined to attack, curl into a ball and try to protect all your soft, vulnerable spots. That’s about all we can responsibly urge you to do since no matter how much time you’ve spent in the gym this winter getting ready for beach season, you’re no match for a g.d. bear.

ALLIGATORS

Florida? Why the hell are you in Florida?! You deserve to be eaten by an alligator, but we’ll tell you what to do anyway. For starters, we hope you’re not in the water, because if you’re on land, you can just run away; gators are lazy and probably won’t chase you. If you’re unlucky enough to be in the water, smash the croc’s sensitive snout until its jaw relaxes. And if it has you by the arm or leg, don’t try to yank it out of its jaws; you’ll just shred your flesh even worse.)

ANACONDAS

There’s an urban legend about how to survive an anaconda attack: Lie still, let the snake swallow you up to your waist or so, and then take out the knife you’re (hopefully) carrying and cut your way out. Thing is, this myth is bogus. For one thing, constrictors tend to swallow their prey head first, after it’s been crushed to death or nearly to death. For another, you probably wouldn’t be thinking real clearly if a gigantic snake was eating you.

BEES

Sorry, but your firearms are pretty useless against Africanized bees, which can fly at speeds of up to 15 mph and will pursue a threat for a quarter of a mile. (In other words, unless you’re an Olympian, you can’t outrun them.) Be sure to run (here’s where you can pretend you’re an NFL half back by employing some fancy zig-zag moves) and protect your face and neck because stings there can cause the most damage. Don’t swat at the bees either; it just pisses them off.

SPIDERS

Seriously? Just grab a tissue and kill it, you baby.

[Richard]

回复京燕花园的评论:
天鹅姐姐,the only endangered species I've dealt with was my baby spiders. I know how to grad a tissue and kill them.

You're a very brave lady,the twin swans must have been protecting you.

[京燕花园]

I ran into a golden bear once camping at Lake Tahoe, it was about 10 meters away from me, I got off my bike and was ready to play "death", the bear did not bother and kept walking away. Our friend fought a bear at Yosemite and was serious hurt, leaving him big scars on the forehead.

Richard, looks like you are staying cool with all these attacks.（＾Ｏ＾☆♪