zt:一封给我儿子的信

一封给我儿子的信

Dear Seth,

You’re only three years old, and at this point in your life you can't read, much less understand what I’m going to try to tell you in this letter. But I've been thinking a lot about the life that you have ahead of you, about my life so far as I reflect on what I've learned, and about my role as a dad in trying to prepare you for the trials that you will face in the coming years.

You won't be able to understand this letter today, but someday, when you're ready, I hope you will find some wisdom and value in what I share with you.

You are young, and life has yet to take its toll on you, to throw disappointments and heartaches and loneliness and struggles and pain into your path. You have not been worn down yet by long hours of thankless work, by the slings and arrows of everyday life.

For this, be thankful. You are at a wonderful stage of life. You have many wonderful stages of life still to come, but they are not without their costs and perils.

I hope to help you along your path by sharing some of the best of what I've learned. As with any advice, take it with a grain of salt. What works for me might not work for you.

Life Can Be Cruel

There will be people in your life who won't be very nice. They'll tease you because you're different, or for no good reason. They might try to bully you or hurt you.

There's not much you can do about these people except to learn to deal with them, and learn to choose friends who are kind to you, who actually care about you, who make you feel good about yourself. When you find friends like this, hold on to them, treasure them, spend time with them, be kind to them, love them.

There will be times when you are met with disappointment instead of success. Life won't always turn out the way you want. This is just another thing you'll have to learn to deal with. But instead of letting these things get you down, push on. Accept disappointment and learn to persevere, to pursue your dreams despite pitfalls. Learn to turn negatives into positives, and you'll do much better in life.

You will also face heartbreak and abandonment by those you love. I hope you don't have to face this too much, but it happens. Again, not much you can do but to heal, and to move on with your life. Let these pains become stepping stones to better things in life, and learn to use them to make you stronger.

But Be Open to life Anyway

Yes, you'll find cruelty and suffering in your journey through life … but don't let that close you to new things. Don't retreat from life, don't hide or wall yourself off. Be open to new things, new experiences, new people.

You might get your heart broken 10 times, but find the most wonderful woman the 11th time. If you shut yourself off from love, you'll miss out on that woman, and the happiest times of your life.

You might get teased and bullied and hurt by people you meet … and then after meeting dozens of jerks, find a true friend. If you close yourself off to new people, and don't open your heart to them, you'll avoid pain … but also lose out on meeting some incredible people, who will be there during the toughest times of your life and create some of the best times of your life.

You will fail many times but if you allow that to stop you from trying, you will miss out on the amazing feeling of success once you reach new heights with your accomplishments. Failure is a stepping stone to success.

Life Isn't a Competition

You will meet many people who will try to outdo you, in school, in college, at work. They'll try to have nicer cars, bigger houses, nicer clothes, cooler gadgets. To them, life is a competition — they have to do better than their peers to be happy.

Here's a secret: Life isn't a competition. It's a journey. If you spend that journey always trying to impress others, to outdo others, you’re wasting your journey. Instead, learn to enjoy the journey. Make it a journey of Happiness, of constant learning, of continual improvement, of love.

Don't worry about having a nicer car or house or anything material, or even a better-paying job. None of that matters a whit, and none of it will make you happier. You'll acquire these things and then only want more. Instead, learn to be satisfied with having enough — and then use the time you would have wasted trying to earn money to buy those things … use that time doing things you love.

Find your passion, and pursue it doggedly. Don't settle for a job that pays the bills. Life is too short to waste on a job you hate.

Love Should Be Your Rule

If there's a single word you should live your life by, it should be this: Love. It might sound corny, I know … but trust me, there's no better rule in life.

Some would live by the rule of success. Their lives will be stressful, unhappy and shallow.

Others would live by the rule of selfishness — putting their needs above those of others. They will live lonely lives, and will also be unhappy.

Still others will live by the rule of righteousness — trying to show the right path, and admonishing anyone who doesn't live by that path. They are concerned with others, but in a negative way, and in the end will only have their own righteousness to live with, and that's a horrible companion.

Live your life by the rule of love. Love your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends, with all of your heart. Give to them what they need, and show them not cruelty nor disapproval nor coldness nor disappointment, but only love. Open your soul to them.

Love not only your loved ones, but your neighbors … your coworkers … strangers … your brothers and sisters in humanity. Offer anyone you meet a smile, a kind word, a kind gesture, a helping hand.

Love not only neighbors and strangers … but your enemy. The person who is cruelest to you, who has been unkind to you … love him. He is a tortured soul, and most in need of your love.

And most of all, love yourself. While others may criticize you, learn not to be so hard on yourself, to think that you’re ugly or dumb or unworthy of love … but to think instead that you are a wonderful human being, worthy of Happiness and love … and learn to love yourself for who you are.

Finally, know that I love you and always will. You are starting out on a weird , scary, daunting, but ultimately incredibly wonderful journey, and I will be there for you when I can. Godspeed.

Love, Your Dad


亲爱的Seth,

你只有三岁，在现在这个阶段你还无法阅读，更无法理解在这封信里我要告诉你的事。我想了很多，有关于你未来所要面对的生活，有考虑到目前为止我在生活中学会的东西，和作为一个父亲我将尽可能为你未来所要面对的考验做好准备。

你现在还不能理解这封信，但是有一天，当你准备好的时候，我希望你能在这里找到我所要与你分享的智慧和价值。

你现在还小，还未感受到生命的代价，生活中会有失望、烦恼、孤独挣扎和伤痛。你还没有因为长时间无回报的工作和日常生活中的荆棘而一蹶不振。

对于这一点，我感到很庆幸。你现在正处在一个很美好的生活阶段。你生活中仍然有很多精彩的阶段将要到来，但他们同样伴随着代价和危险。

我希望能把我人生中学会的最好的东西与你分享。对于任何建议，都应当稍加分析。那些对我有用的东西不一定适合你。

生活可能很残酷

你生活中遇到的某些人可能不是很友善。可能因为你不一样，或者没有任何理由，他们会嘲笑你。他们可能会欺辱你或者伤害你。

对于这些人你没有什么可以做只能学会对付他们，并且学会选择那些对你友善，真正关心你并且让你感觉自身良好的人做朋友。当你找到这种朋友，就应该把握住他们，珍惜他们，与他们共处，对他们友善，并且爱他们。

将来有时候你可能会遭遇失败而不是成功。生活不可能总按你希望的方向发展。这是另一件你必须学会处理的事情。你应当推动他们向你所希望的方向发展，而不是让他们去摆布你。接受失望并且学会坚持，即使遭遇困难也要学会追求梦想。学会把消极的转化为积极的，这种你就能在生活中表现的更好。

你也会面临被你所爱的人抛弃和伤心。我不希望你不会太多的面对这些，但是他们确实会发生。同样，你没什么可作只能慢慢治愈，并且在生活中继续前进。让这些伤害变成你追求更好生活的踏脚石，并且学会利用他们使你自己变得更强。

但是乐意介绍生活中的方方面面

是的，你将会在你人生的旅途中遭遇倒残忍和不幸……但是不要让那些束缚你去接触新的事物。不要远离生活，不要隐藏或隔离自己。让自己去接触一些新的事物，新的经验和新的朋友。

你也许会伤心十次，但是却在第十一次找到了最棒的女人。如果你封闭自己而不去爱的话，你就会失去那个女人和你生命中快乐的时光。

你也许会被你遇到的人嘲笑和欺侮……但是当你遇到一群蠢人的时候，你随后就会找到真正的朋友。如果你封闭自己不去接触一些不认识的人，不把你的心向他们打开的话，你将会避免受伤……你也会失去遇到一些难以置信的人，他们将会陪你度过生命中最艰难的时光和为你创造生命中最辉煌的日子。

你也许会失败很多次但是如果你让那些失败阻止你去进行新的尝试的话，你将会失去一旦你的成就到达新的高度时那种成功的美妙感觉。失败乃成功之母。

生活不是一场竞赛

你会碰到很多人，他们将要在中学、大学以及工作中试着要超过你。他们想拥有更好的车，更大的房子，更漂亮的衣服，更酷的设备。对他们来说，生活就是一场竞赛—他们只有变得比他们的同龄人更强他们才会感到快乐。

这里有一个秘密：生活不是一场竞赛。它是一个旅程。如果你在旅程中只是花时间让别人佩服你和超过别人，那么你就是在浪费你的旅程。相反的，你应该学会享受旅程。把它当作一场一次快乐的，不断学习的，不停进步的和爱的旅程。

不要为拥有更好的汽车、房子或者任何物质的条件，甚至是一份高薪的工作而烦恼。它们一点都不值得，并却它们也没法让你变得更快乐。当你获得这些东西以后你只会想获得更多。相反的，应该学会满足于自己所拥有的东西—然后用那些你原本准备赚钱买那些东西的时间……用那些时间去做一些你喜欢的事情。

寻找你的兴趣，并且持之以恒的追求它。不要为了一份高薪而去工作。生命太短暂不应该把它浪费在自己不喜欢的工作上。

爱应该是你生活中的法则

如果用一个词来形容你应该如何生活的话，那么它就是这个：爱。我知道，它也许听起来很老套……但是相信我，生活中没有更好的规则了。

有些人也许会把成功当作生活中的准则。他们的生活将会有很大的压力，不快乐并且肤浅的。

其他人也许会以自私为准则—把他们自身的需要凌驾于其他人之上。他们将会生活的很孤独并且也同样不会快乐。

同样还要一些人以公正为准则—试图为其他人引领正确的道路，并且会警告那些没有按照他的道路生活的人们。他们总是关注其他人，但是却以一种消极的方式，最后他们只能在生活中于公正为伍，这是一个可怕的指南。

你的生活应该以爱为准则。把你全部的爱给你的伴侣，你的孩子，你的父母，你的朋友。给予他们所需要的，并且给予他们的不是残酷，不是反对，不是失望，而只是爱。把你的心向他们敞开。

不仅仅只爱你所爱的人，以仁爱的心去爱你的邻居，你的工作伙伴，以及陌生人还有你的兄弟姐妹。给你所遇见的人一个微笑，一句友善的话，一个友好的手势，以及帮助。

不仅仅爱你的邻居和陌生人也包括你的敌人。那个对你最残酷，对你不友好的人，也请你去爱他。他的灵魂正受到扭曲的，所以他也最需要你的爱。

最重要的是要爱你自己。当其他人批评你的时候，学会不要对自己苛刻，不要认为自己很丑或者很蠢或者不值得被爱……而是认为自己是一个不错的人，值得拥有快乐和爱……并且学会为了自己去爱自己。

最后，你要知道我爱你并且永远都是。你将要开始一个无法预测的，可怕的，令人畏缩的，但最终却非常美好的旅程，我将会尽我可能的在你身边。希望你一路平安。

爱你的爸爸