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Why All The Criticism?

(2010-05-04 07:46:02) 下一个

Women, Criticism, And Relationship Success



Many women enter marriage hoping that their husband will change, whereas many men enter marriage hoping that their wife will stay the same.

Why is this?

Maybe we men simply have lots more problem behaviors that are in need of change?

I doubt it. 

At any rate, repeated studies have revealed that women are far more critical of their husbands than are men of their wives.

Furthermore, we know that criticism is deadly to marital satisfaction. 

If you want to destroy your marriage with one fell swoop --- cheat. 

But if you want to slowly bludgeon your marriage to death --- criticize.

Women often want men to open up and communicate more --- but how easy is it to be open with someone who is critical of you?  [You more often want to remain hidden from such an individual --- then she will have less ammunition.]

Women want men to be more active and to do more at home --- but how often do we want to participate with someone who is so busy pointing out your shortcomings that they seldom notice what you are doing that is positive, good, and helpful?  [If someone is often critical, then the less you do, the less she will have to criticize.]

Women want men to be more romantic --- but how easy is it to make love to someone who criticizes you?  [You may screw someone who is critical of you, but you will seldom make love to that person.]

So why all the criticism?

What is it about men that makes them in need of so much correction and criticism from women?

What is it about women that makes them so critical of men?

Next to infidelity, the best predictor of relationship demise is criticism.  If you want to destroy your relationship, criticize your partner.

So then why do so many people express a desire for a loving, healthy relationship, but then engage in behaviors that are sure to prevent from happening the very thing that is desired?

Why would so many women do the very thing that is least likely to accomplish the intended goal? 

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