How to deal with your teenager?

How to defuse an angry teenager?

The key to success is to understand your teenager better by finding out where the anger is coming from, and then adjusting your own behavior to help your teenager overcome the problems that are causing the anger.

1. Don't panic. Even if you feel you don't understand your teenager anymore accept it for the moment.

2. Listen carefully to what your teenager is blurting out to you. Try to read between the lines to find out what the real issue is.

3. Don't retaliate. Don't come up with threats and punishments without finding out why your teenager is angry.

4. Tell him that he is hurting you, in a way that will make him realize that you are concerned and just trying to understand what's bothering him.

5. Reexamine the rules. At a non-angry time, negotiate to develop rules you can both live with.

 

How to talk to your teenager?

1. Listen, really listen. Don't try to listen while doing something else. Put your chores aside so your teenager knows you're really paying attention.

2. Tolerate differences. View your teenager as an individual distinct from you. But it doesn't mean you can't state your opinion if you disagree.

3. Never imply that your teenager's feelings don't matter or that they will change. Teenagers live in the present. It doesn't help them to know they'll soon feel differently.

 

How to be your teenager's best friend?

1. Set aside some quality time to share with your teenager on a regular basis.

2. Find some activity you can enjoy together. It can be as simple as taking a walk, going to movies or a restaurant together.

3. Be honest with your teenager. When you're angry or disappointed explain why. When you're happy, share your joy. Give praise and encouragement when you're pleased with your teenager's behavior or achievements.

4. Be a good listener.

5. Trust your teenager to do the right thing after you've offered your advice and guidance.

6. Forgive and forget. Everybody makes mistakes. Allow your teenager to learn from them.

7. Say "I love you".

 

How to speak up when grades go down?

1. Be a friend, not an adversary. Teach him better study habits. Pump up his self-esteem. 

2. Look for underlying reasons for the poor performance. Is there friction in the household? Does your teenager feel excluded from the social scene at school? Has he experienced the loss of a friend or relative?

3. Be realistic about your teenager's abilities. Not all kids can be doctors, lawyers or scientists. Encourage your teenager's strengths while helping work on the weaknesses.

 

How to win your teenager's cooperation? 

1. Always try to understand what your teenager is feeling.

2. You don't always have to agree or condone to understand.  

3. Share your feelings about the situation in a non-accusing manner. Teenagers are willing to hear after they feel heard.

4. Work together on ideas to avoid problems in the futrure.

 

How to talk to your teenager about sex?

1. Start by admitting your anxiety. By admitting your feelings, you start your conversation on a note of honesty and candor.

2. Don't try to be an expert. Talk about your own teenage years - your feelings and experience- to get to teenager talking.

3. Team up with your spouse. Start talking yourselves casually and the rest of discussion will take care of itself.

4. Don't make agreement your goal. The purpose of parent-teenager discussion is to share information, ideas and feelings. Don't pry or accuse.

5. Teach the difference between love and sex. Tell your teenager that sex without love is wrong.

6. Give him an age-appropriate book you can discuss together.