If that student letter is not a sign of warning, a cry for help,

If the student letter (又到申请季节，看看反思) is not a sign of warning, a cry for help,  I do not know what it is.  We as parents should take this letter seriously. It is one thing that some kids are self-motivated, it is entirely another beast when a student is pressured by an external force.  

While we celebrate our kids success in school, let us not forget their struggles, let us give them lots of space to fail and make their mistakes. Let them idle for a few moments at evenings, at weekends, and at holidays.

Let them cry, hear their cry, and hear their cry for help.

Not every class selection, not every extracurricular activity or club participation should be calculated and weighted and strategized.

No amount of awards and school prestige warrants the destruction on our kids' spirits as kids.

The happiness moments are bountiful, moments of failure and mistakes are as memorable as moment of happiness.

Mary Ann started her piano lessons when she can barely read. After a few months of learning, she made great strides, and she was eager to practice. One night, she refused to practice one particular note that her mom insisted she must practice. She had her reasons for not practicing. She cried the entire time but never yield to her mom, nor me, no matter what. In the end, she never did practice that note. We did reach an agreement that she would ask her teacher for clarification on how to practice that note.

She won her regional piano recitals two years in a row, with ease. On the third year, she failed miserably, so miserable that she had to stop in the middle of song, and asked the judge if she could start over again, in tears. She played it through the second time beautifully. Nonetheless, she realized that she was disqualified. She learned that she can fail and she can fail miserably.

In her middle school, she was the principal Concertmaster for her state youth orchestra. What an honor to have. On her first year in high school, she barely made into the state youth orchestra. What a wakeup call. She told us explicitly that it was a humbling experience for her, she learned to appropriate the contribution of her orchestrator members.

In her second year in high school, she and one of her classmates campaigned for VP of the class. They were short by one or two votes. Though they did not win, their campaign caught eyes of their teachers.

In the last month of her senior year, she and another classmate were finalists competing for a local scholarship award. Both are required for a face-to-face interview with the scholarship sponsor and family members and the school principal. After the interview, the principal purposely pulled her out of her classroom and had a few words with her. The principal was very impressed by her interview. She could sense the regret that the principal had about the decision, though the principal never did not say who won.  The other finalist won the award.