悠悠寸草心
慈母手中线，游子身上衣。临行密密缝，意恐迟迟归。谁言寸草心, 报得三春晖。
正文
真爱这个词是在这几年婚外恋当道，第三者渐渐被世俗所宽容的背景下最常被使用的。因为正常恋爱的男女，顺理成章的步入婚姻殿堂是不需要对别人表白他们之间是真爱的。
真爱可以有两种解释，一种是真心的相爱，就是陷入爱情中的双方都付出了真心，纯粹被对方的人格魅力所吸引，没有任何的功利因素。而另一种解释就是真正的爱情，这是人类社会最美好的情感之一，应该是阳光的，健康的，互相平等的，负责任的，不伤害别人的，是道德的。
可是，婚外恋情可以暴露在阳光之下吗？它的存在或多或少都会影响到无辜的人，至少在最初，是见不得光的。不能否认，在有一种婚外恋情中，在激情燃烧的那一刻，出轨者和第三者的确是真心的相爱，他们不图名，不图利，只求心灵相通，相互拥有。但是当他们要求的更多，想要以一个家庭的毁灭为代价换取另一个新的家庭的诞生的时候，他们之间的爱情就已经是错爱，因为他们无法再给爱情赋予道德的色彩，这样的爱情已经不是真正的爱情。所以说，不管婚外恋情多么美好，都不是真正的爱情。只有恋爱的双方都是自由身的情况下，才可能有真正的爱情发生。
爱情不是犯错的借口和理由，但很多出轨者和第三者混淆了，或者故意偷换了真爱的含义，他们坚持真爱无罪，事实上是把他们心中真心的相爱误读成真正的爱情，而简单的用一个真爱代替。这就是很多第三者高举真爱大旗，也要把错爱进行到底的原因吧。
这种时候，他们之间的爱只能叫做愚爱了。
真正的爱情是要放到
时间与金钱的
炼狱中去检验的 ........
真爱一定要拥有吗？
其实真爱的含义有很多的，并不是你所说的只有这两种。
你犯了概念性的错误。
You are so wonderful. You really have a big heart. And, you open my view.
Thank you. Take care, my dear.
说实话，在自己没有经历这场变故之前，我没有花很多精力去考虑什么是爱，或怎样去经营婚姻的问题。日子随心所欲的过着，总是很忙碌，虽然平淡但也不乏生趣。
应该感谢上天给了我这样一个审视自己婚姻的机会，一个重新认识爱的机会。
是不是真正的爱情是要放到时间的长河中去检验的。恋爱时的爱情是激情，陷入其中的双方都是付出真心的。而在漫长的婚姻里的爱情是生活中的点滴关怀，是为对方无怨无悔的付出，事实上，之前我们彼此都做到了，而且在事情发生后仍然是这样做的。只是在这之前彼此的方式方法不对路，现在正在改善中。。。
我相信这样真正的爱情才是战胜一切的法宝。
Thank you to allow me share the view with you.
Yes, 不被他们的想法所左右, not only for this thing, this shall be applied all the things you deal with in your daily personal life, in your professional career.
With the open mind and open view, you have your principles and make judgment on you own.
I can tell the golden value you have, I do hope your husband to figure it out soon.
Please also allow me to say below:
After reviewing the event you and your husband experienced, you should take a good and real look of your husband and yourself (who he is, who you are) and educate your husband and yourself at the same time.
Regarding to the 3rd person, she has nothing to do with you. Your husband should handle all the her issues and not let any of those issues bug you, your kids and your family life if you are a good educator and he is a good "student". He shall have all actions and reactions to protect the family.
In another words, if your husband fails to handle those issues as you expect, you shall think more and ......
Take care, my dear.
也许是中文英文表达思想的差异，但我完全明白你想要跟我说的是什么。我知道你不是在跟我争论，事实上你的观点对我启发很大。我不应该被他们的想法所左右。
非常感谢你的讨论。
Yes, I know that you not only have 同情心, but also know 爱. You are a such wonderful girl. You have my full respect from my heart.
I agree that 真爱在每个人心中的定义是不一样的，当局者和旁观者的看法也不一样. You may have your own explanation and definition of "true love". Mine is a little bit different. In my view, there is only one true love, which is (only) with 真心, 阳光，健康，责任,人格, 道德, and in day and day your life (生活) .
If 他们生活在一起了，"真爱" becomes "后悔", for me, this is not a true love. No matter what the explanation people can have.
OK, I am not arguing here, my heart is going out to you. I try to let you see a different point and open a wider view. Maybe, I am a "旁观者", it is easy to say 'anything'. Please don't take me wrong.
However, I still try to pass this point to you: don't take their words, no matter what they said to you about the true love they have. They don't know what they are talking about.
I do hope that it would not take too long for your husband to recognize the gold value you have.
Take care.
祝福你！
我可能是太有同情心了吧。他们那样说，我也相信。当然，真爱在每个人心中的定义是不一样的，当局者和旁观者的看法也不一样。但真正涉及到我和孩子的切身利益，我是不会让步的。
有句老话说“妻不如妾，妾不如偷，偷不如偷不着。”你是对的，他们的爱是因为得不到而想象出来的，真的让他们生活在一起了，未必就是真爱。只是如果那时再后悔，对孩子的伤害又该怎样算？
谢谢你的祝福，我会努力做好我自己，为自己，为孩子，为我们的未来。
"他们曾经都是这样跟我说的，他们之间是真爱。而且到目前为止还是她坚持下去的理由"
I don't think that they know what they are talking about. They just make up their imagination and dream as it is "他们之间是真爱". And, you shall not take what they saying too.
Life is life, never say “真爱”until you really know what 真爱 means to your in your day and day life.
Please don’t take what they told you. Without 人格, they are nothing. Whatever they mean about “爱” is nothing too.
For you, please don't think too much. Drop down your bottom line as a person with your 人格, be a better yourself. You will have the ture love.
Take care.
是的，你解读的一点没错。他们曾经都是这样跟我说的，他们之间是真爱。而且到目前为止还是她坚持下去的理由。
这就是我要说明“真心的相爱”不等同于“真正的爱情”的原因，虽然都可以用“真爱”来代替。没有阐述清楚，让你见笑了。
What is real love? The real love includes all you stated: 真心, 没有功利, 阳光，健康，责任的。This is a real love of a person with人格魅力 and 道德的.
If I did not mistake you, you tried to indicate that there is ‘love’ between your husband and that lady and both of them told you that is a real love. They do 真心的相爱.
If you mean that, then I have to say you are wrong.
They may think that they really love each other. But, they don’t. That is just their imagination. If you really let them be together, see what happened. Life is life. There is only one real love. To have a real love, you have to understand what it means to your real daily life.
I wish you understand what I am trying to say here.
Take care.
这正是我在这里想阐明的，谁也不能保证一辈子只爱一个人。如果想一直生活在爱情里，请认认真真结束每一段恋情，回到起点再重新开始。真心相爱没有错，但是妨碍了别人，伤害了孩子就是错。
What is wrong with this world?